"I used to hate it when Raife went on the road. Ugh," I could hear Christine's eye roll on the other line as I walked around the hotel. Ashley is still asleep, so I decided to answer Christine's phone call for her. I smirked as Christine continued, "I always suspected that he was out fucking all those goddamn hoes that throw their slutty asses at him and was I right? Of course."

"How do you even know that, Christine?"

"I could feel it when he was around," I smiled and pictured Christine brushing off her shoulders. "Can't ever trust a rock star, Spencer. Never."

I sighed. How was I supposed to trust my rock star with this knowledge?

"Anyways Spence, I have to go," I could hear her fuss around on the other line. "We have reservations at Le Deu tonight at 8, alright? See you there, love ya!"

I sighed once I heard the dial tone. Dinner with Christine was always... eventful. I walked back into the room to find Ashley sitting upright against the headboard. She wasn't doing anything, just sitting and staring at the TV, which wasn't on.

I made a face and stepped closer to the bed, "You okay, Ash?"

She looked over at me with a confused look on her face, "What?"

I sat on the bed, now completely worried. She looked... off. Almost like she was on edge or something. Like she didn't know what the fuck was going on. "Are you okay, Ash? What's wrong?"

She shook her head oddly, looking down at her hands. She looked back up at me like she didn't know where the hell she was, "Where have you been?"

I made a face, "What?"

"Where have you been?" She looked hard into my eyes, keeping my confused gaze. I made a face.

"I just went to walk around the hotel, Ash. I didn't go anywhere."

"No, I haven't seen you for 3 days," She looked back over to the TV, as if she suddenly saw it move. She shook her head slowly.

"What? What're you talking about?" I sat up and grabbed Ashley's hands, which she pulled away, now staring back at her hands. "Ash, you're scaring me."

"No, I haven't seen you for days," She looked at the TV again. "I swear that was on two seconds ago."

"Ash, you don't watch TV that often," I looked over at her. Her right hand was holding her left tightly. I went to hold them, but she shook her head at me. "What's wrong, love? You're seriously starting to scare me, Ash."

"It was on," She looked at me. Her face was still the same, but maybe even a bit more confused. Now I was just worried as hell. Ashley never acts like this. She doesn't even joke about this either. "It was on. It was on. Did you turn it off?"

I looked down at her chest. She was breathing really heavily, but her chest was raising and falling really slowly. Like she was taking very deep breaths.

I immediately sat up, "Ash, did you take your Enalapril this morning?"

"Oh... no," She shook her head and looked down at her hands. "I didn't."

I opened the drawer next to the bed, getting the Enalapril out. I went and got a glass of water, contemplating if I should call Christine or not. I mean, she has literally never acted like this before. She's never been so... out of it before. She never plays practical jokes about this kind of thing, just because she knows how I am and that I would react very well to her playing me like that.

"Here Ash," I handed her the glass of water, which she just stared at. She looked back up at me, signaling that she wasn't going to be holding those any time soon. "Okay, open up."

She opened her mouth for the pills, which I set into her mouth. She immediately dry swallowed them, which made me frown because I hate how she does that. I let her drink from the straw and she looked back at the TV once she was done.

"You okay, Ash?" I rubbed her upper arm, which set off another confused look on her face. "You feel better?"

"Yeah," She shook her head and gulped. I sighed. "What are we going to do today?"

"You have an interview with the boys," I brushed some hair behind her ear. I was going to continue, but she cut me off.

"I can't do an interview today," she shook her head, closing her eyes. That caught my attention immediately. Ashley, no matter how sick or tired she is, will never cancel anything she has planned for her. She could literally be on her death bed, but if she has a performance, she will go through with it. "I can't, Spencer. I can't. Not today."

"Okay baby," I sat up and got closer to her. She was looking back down to her hands again, which was starting to worry and confuse the shit out of me, and started shaking her head again. "You don't have to do it. The boys will take care of it."

She nodded, still looking down at her hands. "Please."

"Alright," I got up. I needed to call Christine, or at least Kyla or Lana. "I'll go talk to Craig about it."

The nice thing about Moments At Last is that they don't have a manager. They go by their own rules.

I called Christine the moment I left the room. I was the one breathing heavily now, mostly due to the paranoia and worry now flooding through my entire body. I sighed once she didn't pick up. After that, I immediately called Craig.

"Hey Spence," He always answers by name. "What's up?"

"Craig, Ashley can't do the interview today," I put my hand over my forehead. I could feel a migraine coming on. "She's not feeling very well."

"Oh.. Well that's fine," He paused. "Is she okay? Do you need me to go check on her?"

"No it's fine Craig," I sighed. I know how Ashley is when she gets sick, and that being that she hates when people are around to see her like that. Craig being there would just make her mad, which isn't a very good mixture with dazed, in my opinion. "I'll just call you later."

"Okay, bye Spence."

I sighed when once he hung up. Now if only Christine would call me the fuck back. I sighed again and began to dial Kyla's number. She may not be in the area, but she could know some information about Ashley's… condition.

"Spencer?"

Oh shit. I turned around to see Ashley, dressed in a plain white t-shirt and black lounge pants. I immediately hung up the phone, which made me frown because once I hung up, I heard Kyla's loud 'hello?' I walked toward her, putting my phone into my pocket.

"Come on," she tilted her head toward the door and started walking. She wasn't walking normally though, not with any rhythm or any swagger she usually had. She was just… slow. "I remember yesterday you said that you wanted a cookie. There is a cookie corner downstairs, so I'm going to go get you one. You can stay upstairs if you want though."

I swear my heart almost melted.

"Ash, are you sure you're feeling okay?" I grabbed her arm to keep her from walking any further, she just looked at where I touched her and back to me. "You'd tell me if something was wrong with you, right?"

She looked down at me. Her eyes were still the same as they were a few minutes ago- confused. They were darker than usual, more rough and edgy. I didn't like it. I could tell Ashley didn't like it either.

"Yes," she started walking to the door, which was about 10 feet away. She stopped for a second, and then looked back at me. "Spencer … could you hold my hand please?"

"Of course," I grabbed her hand and interlocked her fingers with mine. They were colder than usual, but I just assumed that it was due to the blasting air conditioning in the hotel. Her fingers seemed to jump once I interlocked them, but I noticed that she wasn't holding my hand back. Brushing it off, I started walking toward the door with her. Once we got about 3 steps to the door, she stopped and sighed.

Now I'm just pretty much terrified and wondering if I should be taking her to the hospital right now.

"You know what," she smiled down at me. I could tell that it was forced. I know Ashley, and being Ashley means having to smile when you don't want to. She used her arm to get me to face her. "Could we just stay in? I'll just have Rebecca get you one… or 12."

I smiled at that. Just because I saw a hint of my Ashley in it, and it was something that I didn't have to worry about for once.

I walked her back over to bed, to where she took off her shirt with one hand and climbed back in. She patted the area in front of her, to which I laid comfortably facing her.

We just laid there for awhile. Just laid there and enjoyed each other's company. It was nice and overly lovely. Being on the road now, we don't get these kinds of moments as often- the moments where we can just lay with each other, and feel the other just being there. I missed it. Don't get me wrong, I love having fun with Ashley and trying out new things, but I just miss being alone with her; Just being us.

She sighed, "Spence… I can't feel my hands."

My eyes widened and I tried to sit up but she wouldn't let me, "What? Ash, we need to get you to a hospi-"

"No, we don't," she smiled at me. I tried to sit back up again, but she kept her arm over me so she was blocking my way. I made a face at her. "Spence, can we please just lay here? I've missed this, Spence. Let's not ruin it. Not today."

"Ashley, if you didn't know this, not being able to feel your hands is a very serious thing. Now we need to get you to a hospital," She kept me in place and settled with her head in my neck. I sighed. There would be no winning this battle. "Ashley, we're going to the hospital whether you like it or not."

"Spence, the Enalapril is bring the feeling back," she nuzzled herself into my neck. I just shook her head. I'm still taking her to the hospital. She kissed my cheek and went back into my neck, her eyes closed. "You'd make a good wife."

I just sighed. I'm just good at dealing with stubbornness, obviously.

It got me thinking; having Ashley there finally open with everything she was feeling. Her eyes were worried, and she let them pour into mine. She wanted me there. And even though she couldn't even feel her hands, she was still thinking about me. That has to be real, right? That has to be love. How else could you think of love when you're thinking about someone else when you're the one in pain? I've got the love of my life now. She loves me. She's opening herself.

It all scattered across my mind as I had Ashley asleep, cuddled into my neck. Everything did. Not just the love, but the worry. How bad can Ashley's condition really be? When the hell will I know everything about it? When will I be let in on it? Will I understand it? Can I understand it? Is it possible for anyone else to understand another person's condition? Will I be good enough? Will I ever fully be able to actually take care of Ashley when she needs me to? I have an answer to that one; of course, because that's what you do when you love someone. I want to be there for her, definitely. I wouldn't leave her for a second. But will I honestly be good enough for her?

"Hello?" I heard from the living room area of our hotel suite. I made a face. Christine's voice. I slid underneath Ashley, resting her head on a pillow and walked out, making sure that the door was closed so she could get some sleep. Once Christine saw me walk in, she wrapped me up in a bear hug, making me smile immediately and lift my mood. "Oh hello darling! I've missed you both tremendously."

"We miss you too Christine," I smiled as she sat down on one of the couches, pouring her and I a drink. I sat on the block beside her, facing her with my arm thrown in the back of the couch. She smiled at me and handed me the glass of wine. Yeah, Christine carries wine in her purse. "Ashley is sleeping right now."

"Oh, well let me go wake her ass up."

"Christine," I laughed as she took a sip of her wine. She smiled. "I think she needs it this time."

She made a face. "What do you mean?"

I sighed, taking a sip of my wine. Alcohol is nice after a whole bunch of worry. "She was acting really weird this morning. She said that she couldn't feel her hands."

"Oh," Christine frowned and then sighed. I made a face. That wasn't really the reaction I was expecting. "Yeah, she does that sometimes."

Now it was my turn to make a face. "What?"

"She tends to lack on taking the Enalapril," Christine looked down at her glass as she spoke. "She hates taking pills, even though she knows that she needs them. It's something to do with what her father put into her head about being medicated or some shit like that- it doesn't help that she's a feminist either. But anyways, sometimes she just stops taking the Enalapril."

"So then she can't feel her hands?" I made a face.

"Well… yeah," Christine sighed. "The Enalapril controls the function of her heart, Spence. When she doesn't take it, her heart basically gets confused and starts going haywire. It stops the blood from flowing in certain areas, which is why she can't feel her hands sometimes, and it usually leads to memory loss as well."

I sighed. It was all adding up now.

"I'll be making sure that she takes those goddamned pills every single day then," I downed my wine. Christine smiled sadly at me before refilling my cup.

Christine sighed happily when I took a sip of my wine, "You're a proper girl, aren't you Spence? I'm glad that Ashley has someone like you."

I smiled, looking down. Christine was never one to really express this, "I think I'm the lucky one, Christine."

"No," She shook her head. "All the previous girls that Ashley brought home were just… dirty. Some were okay, some were nice, but none were like you. So, my daughter is actually really lucky that she has you. You'll take care of her though, right?"

"Of course."

"Okay then," She smiled at me. "And if you hurt her, I will kill you myself."

I laughed.

I got Mama's stamp of approval.