Chapter 2: One Complicated Female

I was lost, and you were found

You seemed to stand on solid ground

I was weak, and you were strong

And me and my guitar were strung along

Oh, sweet misery, she calls me

That's what you call me

-Michelle Branch, "Sweet Misery"

She hated me… she had to. I wasn't surprised, since she seemed to clash with everyone, but it still depressed me a bit, though I wasn't sure as to why.

Nana came into class on time… She didn't even glance at me.

I sighed, defeated, and flipped to another page in my book.

-

"I don't believe it," I said aloud. "I… I passed my English homework!" It was enough to brighten my day for sure. "Wow… I never thought I'd see the day when I got an A on my English instead of a C."

I had Nana to thank… but she probably wasn't out for thanks. Yesterday was nothing to her. She didn't even consider to know me enough to acknowledge me in class.

-

School ended, and I headed out of the building. I hung behind, hoping to see Nana, but I didn't… Who knew where she ran off to?

I exited the building and started for home. I was time for another all night study session by myself… but I kept getting the feeling that someone was following me…

Flinging around, I couldn't believe my eyes.

"N… Nana…" The word came out of my mouth before it even entered my brain… I couldn't believe my eyes. There she stood, bag over her shoulder, just staring at me.

"What?" She asked.

"What are you… doing here?" I asked, unable to think of anything smarter to say.

"I thought we were studying," She said simply. "Look… I mean, if it's a bad day, or if you don't want me to come anymore, I'll just go…"

"NO!" I exclaimed, a little more loudly than I'd planned. "It's fine... I just… I thought you didn't… like me… is all…" My voice dwindled away as I spoke until there was hardly a sound. I was pathetic.

"I don't," She replied, but not without a grin. "I passed my math exam."

"I passed my English exam."

"See?" She passed me, saddphire eyes glittering with deviousness. "You need me."

Despite what she'd said about not liking me and my dependence on her, a smile spread across my features. Something about her… what was it…?

-

I had plopped down on the floor of my bedroom, while Nana sat in a corner of the room between the bed and the wall. "Hey," She said to me. "Before we start."

"What?" I asked.

"Your guitar."

"What about it?"

"I won't help you with English until you play it for me."

I was silent. Why she would want me to play for her was beyond me because even though a lot of people thought I played well, I never thought I was that great. Then again, I'd been to a lot of punk rock shows, and I'd seen true professionals.

"Well…" I finally said. "Okay, but I'm not very good."

Picking up the guitar, I made one casual strum, tuned it to my liking, and plugged it into the amp. I thought for a moment, then strummed a few random chords. As a melody began forming in my head, I slowly began to play in specific orders, feeling the vibrations trembling through me as they often did when I played. I hadn't played in so long… I'd forgotten how amazing I felt when I played. My adrenaline rushed as I delved more and more deeply into the song, and I soon forgot that Nana was even there. It was just me and my guitar as it had always been before.

As I finished the song with no name or words, I pulled my mind out of the gutter and back into reality where Nana was staring at me with those intense, heart-stopping eyes.

My mind poured out scolding at myself over the next minute of quiet. You idiot! She probably thinks you suck! YOU SUCK! You shouldn't have played for so long! What the hell is wrong with you? YOU SUCK!

"Not bad," She said, shrugging. "Sound kinda rusty. A bit more practice and you'll be back up to speed though. You have some really quick fingers, and you don't just copy other people's songs. That's awesome."

I was stunned. "Are you complementing me?"

"Now, on to English."

I should have expected that. Not willing to waste my energy prodding answers out of her, I put my guitar away and sat down across from her.

She began explaining everything to me in terms that I could understand…

-

Nana followed me home every day, as if she were some stray kitten. She'd make me play guitar every day before we studied, and then we'd lecture each other on the way things were supposed to be done. Soon enough, both of our grades were improving.

She still seemed so curt and distant from me whenever she came, and constantly shot insults at me for no reason. There were days when she would laugh and smile and was nice, but most of the time she was pissed off and secluded. Everything about her still continued to trouble me and leave me afraid to say anything, yet at the same time peaked my curiosity.

I soon decided that she was only out to get my assistance and truly meant that she didn't like me when she told me so that day… but of course, I was quickly learning that every time I thought I knew something, Nana had a way of throwing me for a loop and showing me what an idiot I really was.

I became aware of it two and a half weeks after we had started our after-school study session. She had taken some of my notes home to copy…

I was sitting at my desk, writing out some guitar chords. Nana's interest had revived my own, and now I found myself doodling up little tunes whenever my free time.

My notes plopped down in front of me. "Thanks for the notes," Nana said, and then said something that to most people would mean nothing, but almost made me fall out of my chair. "Nobu."

And she just walked away! I couldn't believe it. I'd been "Terashima" or "the kid at the inn" for my entire life, and now I suddenly had my first name in the mix, and not just that, but a NICKNAME! If I wasn't so masculine, I would have cried.

Finally. I wasn't just the child of my parents… to someone… I was an individual.

I couldn't wait until school let out…

-

I waited by the door for Nana, and as soon as she exited, I grabbed her and pulled her into a deep embrace. "NANA!" I sang.

"What the hell?! LET GO OF ME!" She shoved me off, and I fell on my ass. "So chummy all of a sudden? What the hell's wrong with you, Nobu?" She asked, brushing herself off.

Despite her cold response, a dumb grin spread across my face, and I answered stupidly, "You called me Nobu."

"So?" She shrugged. "Terashima is too long to say."

I clambered to my feet to catch up to her as she walked away. "So, um…" I said, slowing once I reached her side until I matched her pace. "Can I call you Nana now, instead of Osaki? Does this mean that we're… I dunno… friends?"

"You can call me whatever you want," Nana shrugged. "You could have called me Nana before and I wouldn't have cared. It's not as if I'm out for respect or anything."

I stared at her until she realized she hadn't answered my other question.

"I wouldn't be here now if I didn't consider you a friend of mine, dumbass."

I smiled.

"Don't grin like an idiot," She said, rolling her eyes. "I'm no prize."

"I can't help it. I don't… really have any other friends, you know?"

She was silent for awhile, back turned to me, and then she said, "Yeah… me neither. I guess we're stuck together."

-

During our studies, I'd noticed that Nana's ears were pierced several times, and pointed it out to her. The next day when we arrived at my house, she asked me for an apple, a needle, and an ice cube… somehow I knew this would go badly.

Spreading the items out before her, the apple cut into slices, she commanded I close my eyes.

I had a good idea as to what she was going to do… but for some reason, I trusted her and did as she told me.

She placed the ice cube against the back of my earlobe, then moved it around to the front, placing it back and forth until my ear was numb or at least it seemed that way. I opened one eye and watched her lick her lips in concentration, then glare at me. I shut my eyes again.

She lifted the apple and the needle, then placed the apple against the back of my earlobe. She slipped the needle in.

I screamed out some incredibly vulgar obscenities, eyes flying open, then saw only blackness. I found out later that I'd blacked out.

When I awoke from my stupor, I found myself still sitting in the same position I had been, hands trembling violently against my knees. Beads of sweat poured down the side of my face, and both of my ears were numb.

She just stared at me. "Wuss," She said, smiling, then held up a mirror.

There were three silver rings in each of my lobes, a stud and another ring above them in the rounded part of my ears. My ears were a bit reddened from the ice and pain.

She wiped away the small bit of blood with her finger. "Come on. I did this to myself, and I didn't even flinch. You didn't have to go all dramatic and black out on me. It was like I was poking a corpse. You didn't even blink."

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "They're not gonna get infected or anything, are they?"

"Most likely not, as long as you clean them," She replied, wiping her hands on her skirt. "You are officially punk."

"I never said I wanted to be punk," I mumbled flatly.

"You never said that you didn't," She responded.

I had to admit that I'd always been drawn to the punk lifestyle and fashion, but I was always too chicken to convert to it. My parents would never have allowed it… my mom might have, with a frown and a shake of her head (she did buy me a guitar, after all), but my father…

"Don't worry about your parents, man," Nana told me, as if she had read my mind. It was incredible how she could do that… "You can either take them out when they're around, or they can get used to it. They didn't seem to have any problems with mine."

"Well, they've only seen you at a glance, and trust me, they've talked with me about it."

It was true. At dinner, they would talk at length with me about her. They'd ask me questions and look at me disapprovingly. They seemed to believe that she was my girlfriend, and that she was nothing but trouble, despite the fact that I claimed she was merely a study buddy of mine, and a very nice person at that. I could understand what they were getting at… I mean, if I'd seen my kid walk in with a raven-haired girl I'd never seen before and stay in his room with her until sunset, I'd be suspicious too, but my relationship with Nana was merely companion to companion… friends… My only friend… Just because she happened to be a girl didn't mean we were having sex. I left dinner in frustration several nights…

"You don't have to explain or anything. I personally don't give a damn if your folks don't like me," Nana shrugged. "Even my grandmother doesn't like me."

"I'm sure that's not true," I responded.

"She thinks I'm a clone of my mother," She replied, pushing some hair behind her ears.

"What's your mother like?"

"I don't know. If she ever shows up in my life, I'll be happy to tell you, Nobu," She shrugged, leaning back against the bed and reaching into her bag. "I'm not out looking for sympathy, so don't bother. I don't really mind."

Out of the bag, she pulled a pack of cigarettes and placed one in her lips, then lit it with a Vivienne Westwood lighter.

I gasped, watching her… Normally I couldn't stand smokers. The smell gagged me, and it was so unhealthy, but… it was different with her. Everything was different with Nana, and now I'd realized exactly what it was.

Nana was cool.

She exhaled smoke and turned her icy blue eyes on me. "What, you don't like the smoke?"

"No, no, it's fine," I shook my head and waved my hands. "Go right ahead, I… I don't really know anyone who smokes…"

"Helps me to relieve stress. I started last year," Nana told me. I looked at the cigarette held so daintily between her fingers. She looked so… sophisticated… and all of my hatred for the smokers was gone…

"It's really a stress reliever?" I asked.

"If you know how to use them," She replied, holding it out to me. "Wanna give it a try?"

I hesitated, but I was determined to look cool in front of Nana.

I placed the cigarette to my lips and took a drag on it.

A moment later I was coughing and gagging. I tasted vomit in my throat that threatened to come up.

Nana laughed.

"I can't believe you like those things! That's… that is just HORRIBLE!" I exclaimed between coughs. "You're crazy!"

"You're just a cigarette virgin," She said. "Calm down, first-timer."

"That's nasty," I pointed at it after she took it back.

"Smoking just isn't your thing, Nobu," Nana replied, shaking her head. She began tapping her ashes into an empty soda can that she'd drank from earlier. "You're such a goodie-two-shoes…"

"Wha-- well, I--" Goodie-two-shoes… how lame!

"Don't worry… I'll make a bad boy outta you," She said, smirking, her eyes lit with fire.

I felt like my face had been set a blaze.

Nana burst out laughing again. "You turned red! You nerd! Have you never even had a girlfriend?!"

"NO!" I yelled defensively. "I haven't seen you with any boyfriend!"

Her smile faded, replaced with a look of surprise. "Touché..."

"You've never had a boyfriend, Nana?"

"Most people are intimidated by me," She answered. "It doesn't bother me. People who are out to get dates constantly are only trying to get in with the crowd that all the bimbos and jocks are in. Promise me one thing, Nobu. Promise that you'll never be one of them?"

"No way," I said. "I don't want any part of it. I'd much rather hang out with you every day, Nana." I beamed at her.

She chuckled slightly. "Kiss ass."

Even with the name calling, I still smiled. I might have been a kiss ass, but I meant every word.