"But there's a beginning in an end, you know? It's true that you can't reclaim what you had, but you can lock it up behind you. Start fresh."
― Alexandra Bracken, The Darkest Minds

"I felt strangely numb...feeling absolutely nothing towards the man who was known as my husband. My marriage was in shambles, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. Reflecting back I had somehow allowed myself to take life's random detour instead of looking at it as a roadblock. A do not proceed if you will."

"It was your journey," Dr. Deanna surmised for the thin brunette who had the stature of an up and coming actress appearing on stage presenting her own monologue instead of marital counseling. The way the gray hues of the sky lit the gauntness in her cheeks was surprisingly sharp. The flowers from the trumpets were closed waiting for the sun to dry the wet morning dew on the petals. The sun remained hidden somewhere in the cloud filled sky.

"I could hardly stand to look at him, but yet when he spoke, he had my full attention while we waited for her to arrive with his children."

Dr. Deanna allowed Lori to drift in and out of the present. She waited...

"She's here."

"She?"

I questioned the use of the singular. We were expecting the twins to visit. Michonne was dropping them off instead of a hired driver that generally would bring them and escort them to the front door.

This time was different. Unexpected.

I have long since noticed the slight change regarding his behavior, though subtle, still visible. The beard he wore was one and the removal of his wedding band last night was another.

I never liked facial hair on Rick. Rick knew this. Earlier on in our marriage, it was a topic, and I had assumed clean-shaven was his preference too. He became very meticulous in grooming his beard. Rick rarely wore his usual weekend sweats. Those were replaced by wearing his office attire more casually.

"Abigail and Jasmine," he corrected.

Two names from my husband lips were enough of an announcement to cause our very own children, Carl, and Judith, to become more animated knowing their half-sisters were outside our home, sitting in an awaiting car.

"I am going outside."

My husband had announced.

"Sure."

My tone indicated I was less than thrilled. He wasn't concerned about asking for permission or that I was okay with him going out to greet the woman who turned our world upside down.

"Just want to make sure it is okay with her."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Sending messages by way of Abby and Jazz isn't communicating."

His terse response didn't go unnoticed by me. It didn't prevent me from responding back with facts.

"We have her list. Nowhere on it does it say we can't take them camping. Nowhere on it does it say they can't go to a campground. It isn't like we are taking them out of state. A simple outing with OUR family and them."

"It was your idea, Lori. If it bothers you so much we could have done this differently."

"How could any of this have gone any differently, Rick?"

I watched the frustration on his face. His stance indicated to me he had a much bigger fish to fry right then, and I, as his wife was to remain on the backburner or eventually discarded. He exited the house with Carl and Judith following closely behind.

From our living-room window, I watched his daughters excitedly run into his arms. Carl and Judith were nearly tripping over themselves to greet them. The twins are weirdly doll-like. His twins. Children he created with another woman while married to me.

"To be fair, he was unaware. It was a brief relationship that started and ended in Spain. Before you were officially married. Not making any excuses but we must deal with the full facts to heal properly." Dr. Deanna reminded Lori who didn't acknowledge that she heard the doctor or understood the reasoning behind it.

"I had only the view of his back. His daughters were on each hip squeezing him tightly while being teased by their brother Carl and tugged by Judith which caused Rick to scold them all to settle down so he could speak to the twins' mother without possibly yelling. I couldn't see much else or the person in her white Mercedes Benz sitting in the driver seat. Oh, I knew what she looked like. It wasn't a secret that my husband got a black woman pregnant. Those girls didn't pass for white. There was no way I could pass them off as our children so they will always be considered his children. Children he produced with his mistress, Michonne Benton."

Dr. Deanna sat back in her chair amazed at the confirmation of who the other woman was and that she knew all parties involved.

It was Carl that told me about his sisters. Sisters he had just met. Carl wanted to know if I would allow them to come over. We were at a restaurant, St. Lucie Steakhouse. I looked over at Rick.

"Carl and Judith met their half sisters today. It wasn't planned, but they did. They met Abigail and Jasmine. They met the mother too."

I wanted to throw up.

That is how I found out he fathered children outside of our marriage.

"How did it make you feel?"

"Surprised. Confused. Hurt. Angry. Full of Rage."

"There is really no way to be rational when consumed by rage."