Cats of Akatsuki Chapter 2
Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto. If I did, we would be seeing a lot more of the Akatsuki (perverted way and normal way).
The Akatsuki gradually grew used to being cats, as shown by, "Come on, Lollipop! Jump! Get the feather!" Anna waved a cat-dancer over Tobi's head. "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will get the feather!" The other Akatsuki members were lounging about, watching the hyperactive kitten. Liz wandered over to them and grabbed Zetsu. "Awww, you're so cute Rock Lee. I could hug you and squeeze you and never let you go!"
"Please let go or we'll eat you." Kakuzu got up and started rummaging in the girls' handbags.
"What are you doing Stitches Are you stealing money again?" Liz grabbed the cat by the scruff of his neck and pulled him out of the bag. Kakuzu had a wad of dollar bills in his mouth. "Bad Stitches. Money is not a play toy." She took the money back and put it in the bag. Kakuzu watched her do so mournfully.
"You can reach it Lollipop! Good boy!"
"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" that said, the 'good boy' crashed into a plant, knocking the dirt all over himself and the Akatsuki kittens. "Tobi! Now I'm all dirty, un!" Anna and Liz looked at each other. "Liz, I think its bath time."
"I'll get the tub ready." Liz ran upstairs. Anna clapped her hands, "Okay kitties, it's bath time. I know you probably don't like water, but if you cooperate we'll get you out sooner. Why am I talking to cats?" Anna scooped up the cats and carried them upstairs to the bathroom. Liz closed the door behind her. "It should be warm enough." Together the girls managed to get the Akatsuki into the water. Really only Hidan started struggling, so they just dunked his head underwater. They used shampoo to scrub the kittens and washed it off. The conclusion: ten wet kittens glaring at them hatefully.
Anna's P.O.V.
So Liz and I finally got the kittens all nice and clean. FuckFace struggled so we dunked him. It's not cat-abuse if he was scratching us! I reached into the drawer and grabbed my blow-dryer while Liz drained the water and started toweling off the cats. "Liz, just put all of them in a group together so I can blow-dry them all at once."
"Sure thing, Anna!" I switched the blow-dryer to warm, turned it on, and pointed it at the cats. What happened next will leave me mentally scared for a long time. All of a sudden, white smoke covered the room. "Hey what's going on?" I asked. Then I saw it. There were men in my bathroom. Hot, naked, very familiar men. Oh, and one woman. I grabbed her and Liz, ran out, and slammed the door behind me. I pulled both of them into the bedroom Liz and I share and threw a robe at the naked woman. After she pulled it on, I felt it was safe to look at her. She had blue hair, amber eyes and one piercing. "Konan," Liz and I said at the same time.
"Yes." Holy shit, I've finally lost my mind. The cats disappear, the Akatsuki appear; this is like a bad fanfiction! Oh well, if it's all in my head might as well enjoy it before I wake up in a straitjacket. Or maybe I'm dead. If heaven means meeting the Akatsuki, why didn't I die sooner? I ran to the laundry room, grabbed a few towels, and threw them into the bathroom, keeping my eyes on the ceiling. It's one thing to look at Deviant Art, but having them be real (at least in my minds crazy retreat) is a different thing. "Put on the towels and come to the living room." I heard grunts and moving around. Konan, Liz, and I went downstairs. Normally Liz and I would be screaming our heads off, but Liz seemed to be in shock and I was pretty sure I was hallucinating. Konan just doesn't talk much.
The Akatsuki came down the stairs. I mentally drooled at the hotness! All those muscles… They came to stand in front of Liz and me, who were sitting on the couch. Konan was sneaking peeks at Pein and blushing. Ahhh, I knew my mind would put them together. They belong together anyway.
Pein spoke first, "Where are we?" Confidence and leadership was dripping from his voice. Liz was staring at the Akatsuki with a blank look on her face. She wasn't going to answer so I did. "You are in Los Angeles." They all had confused looks. "In California." No idea. "In the United States of America." Still nothing. "In North America? In the Northern Hemisphere? On Earth? In the solar system? In the Milky Way Galaxy? In the universe?!"
"Ooo, Tobi's heard of the universe!" "Shut up, un!" Deidara whacked the back of Tobi's head. "Baka." "Oi, bitch! What's with the fucking pictures of us in the bedroom? It's damn creepy!"
How the hell was I going to tell them they weren't even real? "Well, you see…" "Spit it out, I don't like to wait." I looked at Sasori's emotionless face. Huh, he's still a puppet. "This may be hard to believe, but you are in a different world. Here, you are characters of a popular anime called Naruto, which is why we have so many pictures of you. The best explanation for the fact that you are here that I can think of is that I am either hallucinating or dead so whatever I do right now will have no consequence." Hey, no consequences. "You guys are hot and sexy. Except for you Konan, you're pretty." Silence. "What the hell?! Where the fuck did that come from?"
"No consequences…" I muttered. "You are alive." I looked up at Itachi. "You are not hallucinating; we are really here and can kill you in a heartbeat." Then Liz finally seemed to snap out of her trance. "Holy crap, the Akatsuki are really here!" Liz proceeded to glomp Kisame. He was so shocked that someone would willingly hug him that he didn't throw her off. Poor Kisame. He needs more love.
Wait, the Akatsuki are really here… That's so fucking awesome! I glomped Itachi who just stood there looking stoic. My life was complete!
"What do you mean by 'we are characters of a popular anime'?" Pein didn't even seem to be phased by Liz's and my actions.
"Oh yeah," I let go of Itachi. "You guys are in an anime that I watch. Here there is no such thing as ninjas or chakra." Well that shocked them. "It must be pretty peaceful here," Kakuzu muttered. "Peaceful? Are you kidding me? This world is anything but peaceful. War, hunger, poverty, destruction, terrorists… The list goes on and on. But still, a world that has chocolate and ice cream can't be all that bad!" The Akatsuki were stunned again. This seems to be happening really often…
"Tobi wants to know what Lost Ann-jealous is."
I looked at the masked man. How did his mask come with him while the rest of his clothes didn't? Knowing Evil Tobi, (that's what I call the Madara imposter, non-hyper side of Tobi) the mask was glued to his face. "Los Angeles, Tobi. It's the city we're in. There are over 3 million people living here."
"How can there be that many people in a village?"
"When there are over 300 million people in the country, you get really big cities. Though L.A. is one of the three biggest cities." I stunned the Akatsuki again. I seem to be good at this!
"What do you know about us?"
"I know that Kisame is the best shark that ever lived!" Liz shouted out randomly. I would have sweat dropped if I could have. "Other than that, we know most, if not all, of your abilities. We also know most of your important backstory stuff, personalities, and some other stuff." Like how they're going to die.
"Sure, un. Like you know all that," Deidara scoffed and folded his arms behind his head.
"Your birthday is May 5. Your height is 166 cm; your weight is 50.8 kg. Your blood type is AB and you have the Explosion Release Kekkei Genkai. Your ninja registration is IW-08721. You were a shinobi of Iwagakure but stole a kinjutsu that gave you the mouths on your hands. You lost to Itachi Uchiha, resulting in you being forced to join Akatsuki and a deep hatred for the Sharingan. You are partnered with Sasori. You call Sasori "Danna" even though his views on art are different from your own. He believes that art is eternal while you believe that art is fleeting, like an explosion. You use the mouths on your hands to create clay sculptures that explode. Your catch phrase is "Art is an Explosion!" Did I miss much?"
They didn't answer. Wow, if making the Akatsuki completely silent was a game, I'd be the world champion!
Sasori broke the tension. "She understands you perfectly, brat," he snorted. Pein looked like he was deep in thought, "We need a place to stay, as we do not know much about this world." He looked at Liz and I, "You will provide us with basic necessities until we are able to travel back to our world. If you do not, we will be forced to kill you and find someone else."
"Whoa, buddy! There's no need for the death threats. We'll take care of you. Speaking of basic necessities, hey Liz! Do we have some of Dad's old clothes in his room?"
"Yeah, I think so. Do you want me to take them upstairs?"
"Yeah." Liz let go of Kisame. She skipped up the stairs and motioned for the males to follow her. After all of them made it up the stairs, I grabbed Konan's hand and led her back to Liz's and my bedroom. I grabbed a t-shirt and some jeans from my closet that I thought would fit her and tossed them to her. I left the room to let her change. She came out fully dressed and we went back downstairs to the living room. The other Akatsuki and Liz weren't down yet. So I turned on the TV to Pokémon and unplugged my cell phone from the charger. It was almost dinnertime, so I was just going to order pizza since I knew for sure that we didn't have enough food to feed the entire Akatsuki. I ordered five extra-large cheese pizzas and asked for them to be delivered. I don't think I could leave the Akatsuki long enough to go pick up the pizza. Who knows what they would do and if the house would even be left standing afterwards. I heard footsteps on the stairs and saw Liz and the Akatsuki coming downstairs. I have to say, the Akatsuki looked pretty funny. Kakuzu and Kisame were wearing pants that were slightly too small for them with white, paint splattered t-shirts on top. Deidara was wearing striped pants with a spotted top. Honestly, he looked like a clown. Was Hidan wearing pajama pants? Yes he was, blue plaid ones with a slightly pink dress shirt. He didn't look happy. Tobi was wearing all orange. My eyes hurt now… Zetsu was wearing my Dad's trench coat that he used to dress up as Sherlock Homes. Pein, Itachi, and Sasori looked normal. At least they have some fashion sense…
"What is this shit?" Hidan asked. "What?" Liz and I said at the same time.
"The shit on the TV. Why the hell does the guy with the hat on have a fucking yellow thing on his shoulder?"
"That Hidan, is Ash and Pikachu," here is when Liz launched into a huge explanation of Pokémon to the Akatsuki. I sat there listening for the doorbell. "Charizard was one of Ash's older Pokémon. Personally, I like him the best out of the fully evolved forms of the starters for the first game and…"
The doorbell rang. I ran over, ignoring how the Akatsuki flinched and looked around for the sound. I opened the door for the pizza guy, grabbed my pizzas, and paid the guy. Kakuzu watched the money pass from my hand to the other guy's hand. Was he drooling? Anyway, I carried them to the kitchen table, set them down, and turned to the Akatsuki. With a little flair, I opened the first box. "Behold, the American cuisine." It will suffice to say that the Akatsuki stared at the pizza like it was from outer space. I sighed. It had been a long day and it was only going to get longer.
Author's Note
Yes! I updated! Thanks to a guest reviewer and YortUchiha for being the my first ever reviewers. Give yourself a cookie for me. Everyone else who has read this: thanks for reading! I honestly didn't expect myself to get this far. Don't expect a chapter out really soon because I am an expert at procrastination. Please review, though I understand if you don't. They just make me really happy (even though I've only gotten two so far...) as well as favorites and follows.
Last chapter's question: Who is your favorite Akatsuki member and why?
Answer: I'm going to have to say Itachi. I love all of the Akatsuki, but Itachi beats the rest by a tiny portion. I really admire how he gave up everything for his little brother and village, no matter what the cost to himself. Once he sets on a path, he sticks to it, even though he easily could have gotten cold-feet and told Sasuke the truth about the massacre. I hope to be as brave and loyal as he is. I wish I could say that I liked him before I knew his whole story, but I found out about the Akatsuki before I had even seen any of them in an episode and I researched them. I found out everything about Itachi before I had time to form an opinion on him. I'm not even at episode 90 of the original Naruto series and yet I know everything that is going to happen. I have a bad habit of spoiling books, movies, TV shows, and animes for myself.
Question for this chapter: Have you ever had a pet(s)? What animal was him/her(them)? If you haven't, then what is your dream pet?