"Please tell me again why we're playing party games when there isn't a party." Logan asked as he sat back down on the living room floor after getting up to get a drink of soda.

Carlos rolled his eyes for what could have been the hundredth time. "Because! Party games are fun and we can't exactly have a party. Do you remember what happened last time we tried to have a party?" James smiled thoughtfully at being the Super Party Party Kings of Hollywood not long ago. "And besides you know that there's some important shoot going on down at the pool and Bitters won't let us out there. So for now we are stuck in the apartment, playing party games." The brunette replied. Logan shrugged his shoulders and nodded in agreement, almost shocked at his friends reasoning.

"Now, James! Truth or dare?" Carlos asked his tall friend.

James sat silently for a few seconds, thinking of what harm his friend could do with either option. "Truth." He finally decided. Carlos let out a 'Aw, way to be a sissy' kind of sigh.

"Why don't you ever go on dates with the millions of girls who ask you out?" Carlos asked him quickly, as if he had been wondering for years and this was finally his opportunity to ask without seeming creepy or weird.

The hazel eyed brunette blushed more than he normally did. "I uh… Don't really like any of the girls that ask me out in that way." He responded. All of his friends stared at him as though he had formed a third eye on his forehead.

"But they're gorgeous! If you don't want to date them, you can send them over my way." Carlos stated with a hopeful smile on his face.

"I'll uh.. Be sure to do that, next time." James smirked, still blushing.

Kendall stared at his friend. "Why did he blush? That's not an embarrassing question. Well… I guess for James it kind of is embarrassing. He's the pretty one, the one that gets all the girls…. Ugh, I have such a bad headache. I don't think I can sit here any longer…"

Kendall stood up, feeling weak. "I'm going to go lay down, I don't feel very good." He said feeling as though he was going to black out. He had been feeling off balance all day, probably from not eating at all. His friends told him to start feeling better so that he could join them again later that night. The tall blond slowly made his way up to his shared bedroom with a nod directed towards his friends and lied down on his twin sized bed. He figured that this would be a good time to write in his journal, since he wasn't yet tired enough to sleep, but he didn't have enough energy to be socializing with anyone.

"Day 2:

I'm honestly surprised that no one has asked me about my eating habits. I haven't eaten at all today and no one has said a thing. Not even my mom. I guess that all believed me when I said that I was feeling sick and didn't want to eat. I didn't know I was that good of a liar. Or they just don't care about me anymore. I wouldn't care about me anymore. Anyway. I feel worse than yesterday, but I toughed it out. No one said a thing. I think I'm getting bigger, which really pisses me off. I thought I had been doing so good, and then I look in the mirror and I'm the size of a boat. Also, have I mentioned that I think I'm in love? With my best friend? He doesn't like guys tho, so I'm shit out of luck again. And you know, he's gorgeous. I'm disgusting. He's tall, tan, has perfectly styled hair. I'm short, pale, and most definitely need a haircut. Man, life is really fucking awesome. Ugh. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I hate that I can't do anything right. I'm useless. I'm pretty much a useless waste of space. Cool."

Kendall had been feeling down on himself for about the past year and a half. It all started when he got into a car accident with his younger sister Katie in the passenger seat and she ended up having three broken ribs and a fractured collar bone. After that he started feeling like he was worthless, like everything he did was a mistake. He never forgave himself. He felt it was his fault. He wasn't paying attention to the road, he was too busy singing to Katie, trying to cheer her up after a bad day at school. Katie forgives him, but he felt like he couldn't forgive himself. He was her big brother, he was supposed to protect her from harm. Not put her in harm's way the way he did.

A few weeks passed before Kendall and James spent the day hanging out in apartment 2J alone together. Mama Knight and Katie had a movie date with each other, and Logan and Carlos were at an arcade downtown.

James was feeling nervous all day, he had something important to tell Kendall. James wanted to ask Kendall why he was getting skinnier and skinnier, but again, concluded that it was probably stress. And besides, Kendall seemed to be eating better, to James at least. Little did the brunette know, the blond was actually getting worse with every passing day.

"Kendall, I have something to tell you." The hazel eyed boy blurted out while they were watching Hot Rod together. It was their favorite movie, they knew all the lines by heart. Whenever the two hung out together they watched it and recited all the lines.

"What's up, man?" Kendall asked his friend. The blond thought it was weird that his friend seemed to be hesitant about telling him something. They were practically brothers, they always told each other everything. There was no reason for his friend to be nervous about telling him something.

"I uh… I may sorta kinda like…" Before James could finish Kendall thought of all the things he could say. His mind went to the worst possible assumption, which wasn't him. ", guys." James finished, nervous as he had ever been. Kendall's green eyes grew to the size of plates. He never expected in a million years his best friend to say something like that. James seemed like the straightest guy he knew.

Kendall took a breath before saying anything, trying to calm himself and the headache that felt as though it was raging a war on his brain. "W-why would you be nervous to tell me something like that? I wasn't nervous when I told you and everyone that I was gay. It really isn't a big deal, I knew you guys would support and love me no matter what my sexual orientation. You should know that we'd do the same for you…" He stated, feeling extremely light. Almost as though he wasn't even in his own body. Not eating that day or yesterday, or the countless days before that, was finally taking effect on his body.

"Well, I'm the one basically expected to like girls, because of how pretty I am. I'm always called the ladies man, when I really am not. I mean, I haven't been for a while. I thought I was, but I'm really not. I actually kinda figured this all out a few months ago. And I can't really hide it anymore, I had to tell someone! And I knew you of all people would understand. I'm not really sure if I'm ready to tell anyone else yet, you know? And I wasn't afraid that you or any of the guys or Katie or your mom wouldn't accept me, I just didn't want to deal with any of the questions that they would ask. I mean, I knew you guys would accept me, I just… I don't know. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. This all sounds really stupid, I know, but…" James rambled on quickly. He wanted to get it over with fast, like ripping off a band aid.

Kendall tried nodding in agreement. He was hearing everything James was saying, but it didn't actually register in his brain. He wanted to tell his friend that it wasn't stupid, and he was glad that he could trust him with something like this, but nothing came out of his mouth. The blond stood up, headed to the kitchen to get pain killers for his headache. A few seconds after he stood, he stumbled, blacked out, and collapsed unconscious.

Luckily for Kendall, James caught him just before he could hit the ground. And luckily for the panicking James, unsure of what to do, Mrs. Knight and Katie walked in the door seconds after Kendall fell.

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Knight shouted rushing over to her fallen son.

"I don't know! I was talking to him about something and he stood up and then just fell!" James replied anxiously, he feared for his friend.

"Oh God, okay. Uhm.. Set him down on the floor and I'll get a pillow for his head." The frantic Mrs. Knight ordered grabbing a pillow from the couch. James did as his friend's mother said and then hastily texted Logan and Carlos, telling them what had happened. Under the orders of Dr. Mitchell they immediately rushed him to the hospital, which Mrs. Knight had already planned on doing. Thankfully Kendall gained consciousness in the car on the way to the hospital and tried to refuse to go.

"Where am I?" The boy asked weakly.

"You're in the car on the way to the hospital, you blacked out." Mrs. Knight responded from the driver's seat, a crying Katie next to her in the passenger seat.

"You're just going to waste money going there. I'm fine, nothing's wrong." The blond tried shouting at his mother who was driving.

"Kendall, you're going. End of discussion." His mother retorted angrily.

"Kendall, you aren't fine. Have you not seen yourself? You look pale and sickly all the time, and I haven't seen you eating lately. Something is wrong, we're going to the hospital and you're going to be okay after that." James anxiously tried comforting his friend. Kendall was lied down in the back seat with his head in James's lap.

"But I'm scared, I don't like hospitals, you know this. I hate them! Besides, I'm fine, let's just go back home. I'll be fine there. Nothing is wrong, Logan can pretend to be a doctor. It'll be good practice!" Kendall tried pleading with his friend with tears welling up in his eyes. He truly was afraid of hospitals. And he truly did not want his family finding out his dark secret.

"Kenny, there's nothing to be scared of. Don't be afraid, I'll be there. I'll be there every step of the way, bud. Don't be afraid." The brunette reassured his friend who was feeling too weak to argue anymore.