ARMS WIDE OPEN
CHAPTER 2
A/N: this chapter is timed right before the first chapter, before Serah and Fang find Amodar and Falcon. I hope this clarifies the confusion. Thank you so much!
Lightning knows she´s asleep, in between her dream she´s perfectly aware it´s nothing but a dream… but the drenching smell of burned flesh is far too real, far too perceptible, and so intense it nauseates her, almost making her vomit. The pain, and the dizziness, are also just too real to be nothing but a dream. Her ears are ringing, and she feels disoriented, her body aching everywhere. Though her eyes are open, the scene is blurred, enveloped in a faint darkness that sometimes is replaced by what she thinks should be daylight. The earth around her feels like shaking, or is she the one moving? There are shadows, and lights, and figures moving fast, and in between her confusion, she realizes that sometimes she´s able to see the ground, while the next moment she´s facing the sky. She can´t make out anything correctly, the only recognizable feature is a dim light in front of her and someone´s faraway yells of help… and then, as if her mind would´ve been expecting it, but without really being prepared, the blackness consumes her whole.
After what seems a moment, through her closed eyelids she notices a faraway light that, in an instant, occupies her whole field of vision, and the sensations change. That´s the moment she realizes the previous images hadn´t been a dream, but something that had been happening to her, a memory; and now, as she tries to open her eyes, the blurry scene in front of her is filled with a white, warm light that envelops her whole, hurting her sight, and she shuts her eyes again.
Slowly, Lightning becomes aware of the rest of her body, and hears whispers beside her, male voices she cannot place. She tries to move, to ask for help, but her body doesn't respond to her orders, it feels as if her limbs don´t belong to her anymore, and instead, as if in payback for her unwelcomed commands, her whole body yells back at her in the form of a shockwave, as she´s enveloped in sheer, insurmountable pain, which seems to be born from her womb and expand towards each part of her flesh. The pain is so intense, it seems to illuminate her closed eyelids with a yellow hue, and travels with an electrifying hunger, consuming her body whole.
She tries to scream for help, as it seems as if an eternity of torture has passed by, but the moment she feels she can´t sustain it anymore, the pain soothes away by itself, the only remnant a pulsing soreness on her head, torso and right leg.
She keeps her muscles tensed, ready in case the pain would comeback. When a moment passes by and it doesn´t reappear, she lets go the breath she´s holding, and is about to relax, but then the pain returns with a vengeance, as if mocking her, born from her lower abdomen and burning through her lower back, only to spread once again towards the rest of her body, consuming her blood like fire consuming a forest.
She wants to escape, to move away from it, anywhere but here, but her muscles wouldn´t respond to her, even her voice seems to be shut down. As she feels completely helpless and vulnerable, desperation tears her mind, consumes her, swallows her being with an anguish she thinks she´s never felt before. Lightning isn´t aware anymore which one is worst, the pain on her body or the fear on her soul. The intensity of her agony is such, it makes her want to throw up, to double over herself, to scream for help, anything that would keep the pain away. But once again, as fast as it comes, right before she´s about to give up and plead, humiliating herself, the aching disappears, leaving her involved in a faint soreness, and she feels exhausted, consumed, scared like never before.
Lightning exhales, feeling her whole body trembling out of fatigue, but feeling also her strength and senses coming back to her. It´s as if the pain takes over her mind, and when it recedes, she´s allowed to reign over her body once more.
She tries to open her eyes, as at that moment she notices a warm hand placed gently over her forearm, but the light is still too intense to bare, so she shuts them tightly, and turns her head to the side. The attempt makes a moan escape from her lips.
"It´s ok, Lieutenant" a male voice speaks to her soothingly, and in between her fear and confusion, she´s happy she can hear correctly again. "I´m here to help you. You´ll be alright now."
But the words are not enough to soothe her fear, so Lightning tries to reply, but only a moan escapes from her once more, the vulnerability behind the sound frustrating her. What´s the matter with her? When had she become this weakened being?!
She makes a second attempt to move her arm again, and regrets it immediately, as the pain comes back to torture her. This time her body weakly obeys, and she does bend over, clutching her stomach tightly, trying to suppress the source of her suffering, to rip it off of her flesh. In between the gasps and grunting, she´s nonetheless happy her body is hers once more.
"Wait, Farron! Don´t move!" A deep voice startles her, and she turns her head, as she opens her eyes, ignoring the aching. She blinks as her sight adjust to the intense light, and a caring face comes into her line of vision. Captain Amodar smiles worryingly at her, and she notices he´s bent over her, his hands tightly enveloping her forearms, struggling to restrain her movements. "Just wait a little longer, Farron, don´t move, he´s just about to finish."
The pain fades and she´s able to think more coherently. With her mind coming into focus, she finally notices a gentle pressure over her lower belly.
"W-wha…? Where…?" her voice, already husky and soft, sounds like a whisper, and she feels her throat burn for the effort, but being able to talk somehow releases a weight off of her shoulders, the sensation of entrapment, and the sense of despair fading away, if only a tad.
"It´s ok, Farron, you´re home." Amodar answers, releasing her for a moment so that he can take a stray strawberry lock off of her face. "Just don´t move and let the technician do his job."
"What´s… what´s happening to me, Sir?"
She asks him almost in a plea, and hates herself for the fear that can be heard underneath her voice. But Amodar understands, and smiles at her once more.
"That´s what we´re trying to find out, child. Now please be a good soldier and behave. Don´t move."
She´s still weary but complies, and sighs as she tries to relax, but before a second passes by, Lightning tenses again, as her memory catches up with her mind.
"Captain! The others! We have many wounded, Sir…!" she struggles once more to free herself, to go and pay aid to her men, but Amodar reacts before she can move any further and tightens his grip on her.
"Please, Farron. Just hold still."
She notices the distressed tone, and stops struggling, looking intently at him. At that moment Lightning notices his slump shoulders, the bags under his eyes, his lips down and his burrow in a frown. She knows that look all too well: Amodar suffers whenever his men are in distress. That can only mean one thing.
"Please Sir, tell me…" Lightning sighs, trying to collect her wits, "what happened to the others? Where are Ray and Sarge?"
He gives her a faint smile, thankful she started her questioning with those specific soldiers.
"Don´t worry about those two, Farron. They´re sick worried about you, and got some scratches on them, but they´re otherwise fine."
"What about Torreno?" she pushes on. "He tried to protect me, Sir, I know he did…"
"He got hit quite badly," it´s Falcon the one to respond, without taking his gaze from a screen. "But he´s out of danger now, and he´s resting on the other barracks. Mind you, making some fuss for not letting him in to check on you." He winks at her as she meets his eyes.
"Falcon!" She screams in delight at seeing her favorite doctor. "You´re here! I´m so glad you´re alright!"
His smile grows wide while a faint flush reaches his face, and chuckles a bit as his hand goes immediately to his neck, obviously embarrassed at the sudden display of care and interest from his usually cold superior.
"Well… hehehe… thank you Lieutenant. I´m glad you´re feeling better too."
As he speaks, ironically, Lightning tenses, the pain coming back to burn her body, to torture her once more. But she´s prepared now, willing to obey her superior, and also, she knows that every single movement or gesture would bring distress and worry to her fellow comrades, especially to her captain. So she closes her eyes and clenches her teeth, stretching her neck as much as she can, as she grips the bed sheets with a knuckle-white grip. She holds her breath as her throat vibrates, and not even a sound escapes her lips: she can´t allow them to hear how badly it hurts.
But the men know her all too well to be deceived.
"Falcon?" Amodar asks, filled with concern, as he sees Lightning´s face becoming paler, a stray sweatdrop falling from her forehead.
"Please be patient, Sir. We just need more time." The medic turns to the screen and, despite the words he has spoken, he clenches the technician´s shoulder, a gesture that clearly indicates he should hurry. The technician doesn´t give any sign of acknowledgment, too concentrated on his task, but after a few seconds he gives a faint nod of the head.
Amodar approaches closer to Lightning´s ear, feels her muscles tight, holding back the pain. He knows her holding back is for him and for Falcon, to prevent them from feeling worried.
"Please, Farron," he whispers on her ear, hoping it would somehow sooth her, "resist a little longer."
After a minute, the pain recedes and she settles, though pale and drenched in cold sweat, but with her mind sharper than before. Exhausted and panting, she turns back to address Amodar once more, as his eyes fall astray from hers, refusing to meet azure, questioning orbs.
"And what about the others, Sir?"
Amodar sighs. "Please Farron, let´s concentrate on you at this moment. I promise I´ll tell you everything you want to know. Later. You come first right now."
Lightning sighs in acceptance and turns around in defeat, knowing that pushing it any further would lead to nothing but her superior getting mad at her. She turns her head to the other end, trying to acknowledge her surroundings.
She notices she´s on a small, rather uncomfortable bed, and notices the white walls that surround them. Then she finds the source of the bright light, a lamp right above her bed that´s blinding on its intensity. As she sees it, she sees too a bag of transparent liquid hanging close to her bedside, its line connected on her left arm. She realizes then, that she´s being taken care of in the small infirmary they had conditioned close to the hangar, in New Bodhum.
So I am home. I hope I get to see Serah soon. She´ll be worried sick about me…
There´s a small window on the wall closest to her, which allows her to see it´s still daytime, and as she turns her head around, she feels bad for the fact that there´s not much furniture to speak of, but a few beds similar to hers, though in worse conditions, something she would really like to change. She then sees a big window in the other end of the room, far away from her, which connects to another, smaller room.
At the last inspection, she finally notices a third man with black hair and military uniform, a man she has never met before (a technician, Amodar had said), sitting beside her bed and in front of a machine almost as tall as him, but definitely shorter than Amodar. She then proceeds to inspect the strange machine, its most outstanding feature being a large screen at the top of it, and from the middle part and through a long wire, the machine seems to be connected to some weird device the size of a palm, which the technician is using to massage her upper abdomen. Somehow, this device feels warm, and the massaging feels soothing too.
She sighs and continues her inspection. She finds Falcon standing besides the technician, with a deep frown on his face; Lightning notices how the medic is leaning close to the man, both watching the screen quite intently.
Lightning opens her mouth to speak to him, but only a grunt escapes her lips and she tenses her body, as the pain attacks her once more, although this time impossibly stronger than the last ones. She can´t hold much, not like she did before, so she struggles to roll over her side, but this time Amodar contains the soldier, although with some difficulty.
"Farron… please… you promised…" He grunts, his muscles tensing against her attempts to gain freedom.
But she doesn´t acknowledge his words. Her concentration broken, her mind is invaded by suffering, ridden of all coherent thoughts, and Lightning pushes against her restrains, fighting for her right to clutch at her abdomen, to roll on her side, to try anything to escape from the torture.
"Please do hurry" she hears the huge man say, as he fights to contain her movements, "she might look thin, but she´s quite strong."
"I know, Captain," the man speaks, "I´m almost done." He then turns to acknowledge the medic standing behind him and points a finger at the screen. "Her upper abdomen is ok, I haven´t seen anything out of the ordinary, especially not free fluid."
"Good." Falcon says, though he doesn´t feel the reassurance he would like to feel. "But the pain seems to be just too much to be out of nothing, especially for someone like the Lieutenant. Please, take a look at her pelvis."
"Yes sir." The man turns his attention at Lightning, as she and her captain fight over reign over her body´s freedom. More stressed out than he´d like to acknowledge, Falcon turns to aid the Capitan, and only with the strength of both men, Lightning is finally somewhat in a supine position, long enough for the technician to perform the study without any risk to his integrity, since Lightning´s feet are tossing and turning as much as they can, looking for release.
The struggle lasts another eternity, but finally the pain fades again, and, though shaking, Lightning´s body starts to relax, her mind slowly recovering her edge, when a new sound envelops the air.
A thumping, drumming, rhythmic sound that freezes everybody over.
Dum-dum dum-dum dum-dum.
She opens her eyes and sees the men´s faces of disbelief, Amodar´s body looking as if frozen over, his eyes open wide in surprise, his mouth agape, while his grip on her relaxes a tad, as if forgetting the whole point.
"What is… that sound?" she finds her strength to ask, exhausted but worried about their countenances.
Falcon feels the responsibility to explain and turns to address his superior, but finds himself speechless, eyes wide open and mouth completely dry. He gulps and stares into azure orbs, the question and anguish behind them take him out of his stupor, and after a second he´s finally able to articulate, though stuttering.
"Lieutenant… that´s… that´s a…"
"A baby..." she hears a voice like a whisper and turns her head towards its owner: It´s Amodar the one to answer her question, as his eyes stare at the screen and then fix on his protégé. "It´s a baby, Lightning." His voice recovers it´s strength, as a small, hesitant smile draws itself on his tanned features. "You´re pregnant, Lieutenant."
Completely speechless, Lightning opens her eyes wide in surprise, and in disbelief and fear, she turns to watch the screen, as the sound still fills the air. She feels her chest tight and her throat close, as she sees a small, white, bean-like figure swimming in a pool of black. As if the little thing had felt her stare, it starts jumping up and down, turning around nonstop, and her eyes prickle at the action, her mind overwhelmed with words that repeat themselves over and over again.
A baby. A baby! It´s a baby…!
MY baby.
Unstoppable tears finally roll down her cheeks, while a small smile draws itself on her lips.
HIS baby too…
She´s about to speak when a sudden jolt of pain takes her by surprise and makes her clutch the fabrics, and she finally screams, arching her body.
The medic jumps at the liquids hanging close to her, connected to her, and he injects a substance down her bloodstream, while Lightning tenses her body and bits her lip with all her might, in order to prevent herself from screaming even more, unintentionally drawing blood from the tender, rosy flesh.
"Falcon!" Amodar yells, desperate, his hands once again on a tight grip on her wrists. "Do something!"
"I´m on it, Sir!" The medic yells back, as another syringe is injected on the liquids that are connected to her lifestream.
Sweating profusely, she clutches the fabric tighter, and tosses and turns, writhing, struggling to get rid of the pain, as another scream escapes her mouth.
"Falcon! That´s not enough!"
"I can´t give her anything else, Sir! It´ll hurt the baby!"
"I don´t care!" she hears Amodar yell, "Save her!"
No! Through the pain, Lightning yells inside her head. Don´t harm him!
Taking advantage of a moment Amodar let her got to reach out for the medic, Lightning grasps tightly her captain´s arm, and pulls hard, forcing him to look directly at her, azure orbs ablaze with determination and ignited with a plea.
"Captain… don´t… I´m okay…" she says between clenched teeth, "the baby…"
"Oh, Farron…" Amodar´s chest feels tight. He would do anything to save her, even give his own life. But this… how could he ever decide between any of them…? The beautiful blue eyes dig holes into his soul, as he understand how it would destroy her if he were to issue an order that would compromise the little being growing inside of her. But… even if it meant her life?
Noticing his hesitation, she´s about to say something else, but as the pain fades, so does her consciousness, and her sight is enveloped in black once more.
A/N: I really don´t know why this is one of the chapters I like the most. Maybe because I´m a bit psico and sadistic…? or maybe because it´s the first time we talk about the father? Who knows. Though my vote goes for the first. XD
On a side note, Lightning´s men are not OC, or at least not their names. I took them from Blitz Squad, the Squad that faces Twilight Odin in one of the side quests in FFXIII-2. These men claimed they´ve always been faithful to Lightning, taking the Squad´s name and their password (thunder) in behalf of their former Sergeant. I kinda liked that, that´s the reason why I gave them a Cameo in this fic.
Hope you liked it!
As usual, the characters don´t belong to me, but to Square Enix.
For those who left unsigned reviews, here are the answers:
Nas: I´m glad you´re liking it, as for the father, I can´t really give you any clues, but be my guest and take a guess!
Blobby: I´m sorry for the spaces, it´s a flaw after the publication I haven´t been able to correct. I´m using a Mac, so there are still some functions I just don´t know how to use, but thanks for pointing that out.
I do usually enjoy a bit of romanticism when I read… but I´m definitely out of writing it at the moment, so yeah, don´t expect much of it on this fic. I´m glad you like that.
Ooohhh… I LOVE especulation! I can´t give you even a clue, but your opinion was very interesting! A monster! THAT was very original! But no, sorry, at least I can tell you that much. The father of Lightning´s baby IS a man. Which man, well… for that, you´ll just have to wait.
Thank you all for your awesome comments! I hope you like this chapter and the next to come!