Alright, you don't have to push me to hard to get another chapter. Haha. I've given up my idea for a one-shot. I just can't deny you guys.

A/N: I don't own twilight.

Edward POV

I sat in my old bedroom. Nothing had perceivably changed. Although I knew it had. It wasn't the same. There was no happiness, no joy. It was depressing. It wasn't Bella.

It had been almost a year since I'd seen my angel. I was so stupid for not going to her sooner. I was stupid for leaving in the first place.

I hoped she would take me back. After all the pain I was positive I'd caused her, I hoped fervently that she would forgive me.

I knew it had been hard for her. She was addicted to me like I was addicted to her. If I could cry, in these last 9 months, I would have.

Every night was a darkness I couldn't escape. Life wasn't worth living. If that's even what I had, a life. You couldn't call it that really. It was more of an existence. I was there. I was present in body, but in mind I was hopelessly drowning in a depression so deep I couldn't get up for days at a time.

It was more of a pain to try and not say her name. Instead, I welcomed the pain. As long as it meant I could look at Bella in my mind, and say her name.

Eventually the pain was so intense that I couldn't hear the voices around me. I felt was pain. I was pain.

Even when I'd left Carlisle I'd never been this miserable. I prayed that Bella wasn't this bad. I prayed she had moved on. I wouldn't have cared who it was. Anyone would have been better for her then me.

I was a monster. Bella deserved better, she deserved life. I could only bring her heart break. Eventually it would have been like this, me gone. Why stretch out the inevitable?

My ignorant conscious would argue though, what if it had worked out?

I hated myself for thinking that. I had to think of what was best for Bella.

Dwelling on this was useless – pointless even. If I was ever going to get Bella back I had to be sure of myself.

I took a few deep breaths. This would work out. If Bella complied, that is.

I would go to her, apologize and wait. I would wait for the forgiveness and trust before I ever asked her to be my girlfriend again. I would get her trust back. It would be ridiculous if we rushed into it. We had to reach closure first.

I slowly stood from my black leather couch.

I pulled some shoes and laced them without really thinking about it.

I walked down the stairs to find Emmett and Alice waiting at the bottom.

"Edward you need to stop this. You're upsetting Esme with this depression." Emmett started to lecture me.

"Emmett, shut up, you know nothing. Go Edward. I hope it works out for you. I can't see what she'll decide. I do know, though, that she's making horrid decisions currently." Alice eyed me carefully.

I was running outside the door before she could utter another word.

When I took my first step outside, the pouring rain hit me like bullets. It was cold and hard. I ran faster than I ever had before.

When I reached the edge of Bella's yard her scent hit me like a ton of bricks.

I ran and jumped to her window sill. I looked in her window first, making sure she was awake. I wasn't prepared for the sight that I found.

Bella was covered in scars. Cuts were everywhere on her body. Her perfect legs and arms were ruined. She had lost weight, she was almost bones. Her hair was ratty and she looked like she'd just gone to hell and back.

But she was still Bella.

On her night stand sat a knife, pills and water, and pencils and paper. I saw she'd written on the paper already. I ignored it though. The pills were my main concern.

Bella's bone hands picked up the bottle. I watched as she swallowed each pill individually – 20 in all. I couldn't move. My face was horrified. I could feel that. But I couldn't open the window to stop her. My body was frozen.

She sat the pill case down and her head started to droop. She picked up the knife and stabbed it into the crease of her elbow. She pulled it all the way down to her wrist. The over powering scent of her blood filled my head, but still I did not move.

Bella looked out her window and cocked her head when she saw me. Her eyes squinted and she leaned forward slightly.

I finally opened her window and stepped into her room.

"Bella?!" My voice was shaky and I didn't know what to do.

I heard her heartbeat race suddenly. Her face was mangled into an expression I couldn't describe.

Bitterness.

Bella laughed – not the old beautiful laugh – bitterly. Her body fell and my angels head hit the pillow at the same time her heart abruptly stopped.

There you go! Hope it satisfied you. Sequel?