chapter two - I'm Happy
Just so you know, this will be slash. It is why the pairing is Hotch and Reid, and *partially* why the story is rated M.
the slash will not be until later on though. in like 3 chapters or so.
The next morning at 6:30 a.m., the phone rang off its alarm, startling Spencer. The ringing was loud in his ears, as he reached over and grabbed his phone, silencing it. He felt horrible, and had a throbbing headache. Maybe i shouldn't have drank so much. All the moving from the living room to his bed room gave him a nauseous feeling. He rushed to the bathroom, knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. A few seconds later, he threw up in the toilet, and got up slowly to avoid more of a headache. He headed to his room to get his clothing, and went back to the bathroom to get ready for work.
He remembered all the things he said he was going to do, so he switched his socks, wore the jeans, and didn't fix his hair. His messenger bag was left on his bed, as he headed outside towards his car.
It was a sort of chilly day. It was windy and the sun was up already, but it was barely felt. There was, as usual, a bit of traffic and as Reid pulled up to the FBI building, his nerves started kicking in. The headache that was leaving surely came back, and he struggled to keep his cool. For certain, things would be awkward. But it wouldn't matter though, because there wasn't a need to talk much was there? Other than for the case, Reid didn't have to socialize, so he thought to himself that he would be fine. Hotch would definitely give him a whole lecture about what he did, and he would apologize, hoping that he hadn't jeopardized his job. He was hoping that not everyone knew, but that wasn't the case.
As he exited the elevator, he rubbed the sides of his head, begging for the headache to go away. At the door of the B.A.U., JJ passed by him, not speaking a word. He walked towards his desk, feeling a bit alone without his bag. Maybe it was just the tension from when Morgan eyed him suspiciously, but he felt so strange. He reached towards his side for the bag, but realized it wasn't there. Prentiss had just walked through the door, and was headed towards Reid. Rossi had waved at Reid and entered Hotch's office. Maybe it was too much. The fact that he felt like he was being stared down by everyone because of his bad deed. Prentiss walking towards him, Morgan looking at him suspiciously, his messenger bag gone, his jeans. He didn't feel so good. When Emily was about to speak, his eyes opened wide. She is going to confront me about it.
"Excuse me" he breathed as he turned the other way, walking towards the bathroom. So typical. He was avoiding his problem, instead of facing it. But avoiding the problem felt better.
He locked himself in a stall, and leaned against the wall, planning his escapes for the rest of the day. Every situation clearly raced in his mind, only making him more anxious. He thought of all his solutions, and relaxed a bit, when he realized he had it. His amazing plan to be regular Spencer. Opening the stall, he went over to the mirror, and looked at his appearance. He forced a bit of a smile, and left the bathroom. Prentiss and Morgan were talking to each other. When he turned around, he saw Hotch staring at him from the top of the small stairs. He waved his hand towards his office, not saying a word, because Spencer knew he himself had caused a small commotion. Maybe he was blaming himself. Morgan and the others were the ones always bugging him. It was their fault that he couldn't take it anymore.
He walked over to Hotch's office, and smiled.
"Hey Hotch. Good morning" he greeted, and was met with Hotch's 'are you kidding me' face.
"Reid sit down, don't try to act all happy go lucky." Hotch replied, as Reid sat and fiddled with his fingers.
"I am happy, Hotch. Yesterday i watched some cartoons and i couldn't stop laughing at them. It was so hilarious." he laughed, pulling back a strand of hair that was in front of his eyes. Hotch stared him down, but Reid kept on smiling, and laughing. It was so fake. He was in a room with a profiler, and for someone so smart, he couldn't get any dumber, believing that his little facade was working. Then let's make him think it is.
"I'm glad to hear that! I was worried about you, but you've made me realize that it's all okay, just remember not to have a repeat of yesterday please" Hotch spoke, faking his smile, waiting for the little fish to take the bait. Spencer nodded and kept on smiling. It hurt him to see Reid like this, but by not confronting him about it so soon, he'll reduce the risk of Reid denying it. Spencer is lying to himself about who he is, and avoiding the truth about how he feels. There will be a moment where he won't take it anymore, and it'll be so easy to tell, he won't be able to deny it.
Spencer left Hotch's office with a smirk. He'd done it, and for a second he thought his boss would never fall for it. He proceeded to his desk, and JJ emerged from the door, carrying a few files and papers. She smiled, and announced she'd be briefing them on a new case in two minutes. Morgan got up and headed towards Reid, who was staring deeply at the desk.
"You still mad, Reid?" he asked, and Reid shrugged looking up at Morgan.
"I'm not mad" he smiled, got up from his seat, patted Morgan on the back, and started walking to the briefing room. Morgan followed Reid until the younger man stopped.
"I'm sorry Reid, I'll listen to you from now on, just don't ramble on too much" Morgan stated, and Reid scoffed at him.
"You don't need to listen to me, Derek, it's fine" He murmured, and they walked into the room. JJ and Prentiss stopped talking, and Prentiss looked at Reid, noticing his missing messenger bag.
"Hey Reid, where's your bag?" she asked casually, but reminding Reid of the reason he felt so overexposed and anxious. Reid didn't have a chance to reply, when Hotch joined in.
"Yeah, Reid, where is your bag?" he asked a bit suspiciously.
"I usually carry it for nothing, so, I decided not to bring it anymore" he spoke, and sat down on the chair across from Hotch. Rossi walked in the room, looking around, followed by Garcia.
Reid felt drowned in his own anxiety. Why had this shaken him up so much? He usually had on another layer of clothes on top, and his messenger bag, but he didn't think he'd be so freaked out without it. Maybe it was the suspense of the whole situation, because he was never this anxious. JJ spoke of the case, and he was handed a file. He opened it to read, but then stopped, and looked at the blank part of the paper. He started reading the file as normal, but it wasn't exactly so easy, as he was use to reading rapidly. He was frustrated. His eyes stared at the paper, but he couldn't read. What was this? Some sort of psychological mind block? He hissed to himself, staring at the same paper. He was very distracted.
"So what do you think, Reid?" asked Hotch, making Reid look up and his face turn red.
"I.. I think it's a bad case" he stated, looking down once more at the malicious file in his hands. It was an opinion. It couldn't possibly be wrong. But they wanted more than his opinion of how bad it was. They wanted his opinion on the exact details of the case.
"What about the victims? I can only find one connection" questioned Rossi, and Reid froze up.
"The victims.. " he mumbled. All eyes were on him, he felt his throat close up and his heart started beating rapidly. JJ chuckled sarcastically, thinking it was some sort of joke. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, before Hotch began giving his opinion on the victims. All eyes were on him now, and Reid breathed a sigh of relief. He opened the file, took a breath, and read as fast as he could. When he was done, he was slightly happy that they weren't staring at him. He would be no use of the team, if he couldn't read or comprehend.
For some strange reason, every time he was asked for input, Hotch got in the way. Maybe it was suspicious, but maybe it was just a coincidence. He was grateful for whatever it was, because those little bouts of intense panic every time someone stared at him, were not a good sign. At least, he didn't blabber on. Something that the other Spencer would always do. Something that always got the others ticked off. Except for Hotch.
He walked out, as they prepared to leave for Texas. The team moved up ahead of him, with the exception of Garcia. They were clustered together, except for Hotch. The man had slowed his pace, and Reid had caught up slowly. As they got on the jet, Hotch looked at Reid, making eye contact, until Reid looked away at the sky. It was blue.
"You're happy, right?" Hotch asked, right before getting on. Reid's heart raced. He looked down, and then up, taking a big gulp of air.
"Yes" he whispered, as he followed Hotch into the plane.