Csilla: So due to popular request, I've decided to add on a few more chapters... Thanks those who reviewed in the previous part ;D
Ikuto: Do you just love to torment me?
Csilla: No; I enjoy to see your angsty-side *o*
Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara! Only the idea and time spent writing this angst fanfiction~
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Without You - Part Two
Ikuto sat on the edge of his full-sized bed, wondering if Amu's return should be seen to him as a curse or a blessing...
A curse because he still remembered the pain he caused her before her kidnapping...
A blessing because whatever happened during those two years seemed to make her forget about their spat...
"What am I thinking? I should be glad that she's back and alive not that she forgot about that stu-" biting his lip roughly as memories flooded his mind before continuing quieter and shakier than before: "that fight we had," He fell back on his bed with a soft thud, draping his arms over his eyes in hopes to get back some strength. Today he would be visiting Amu again; Midori had agreed to him coming back since it was a weekend. Ikuto inhaled deeply, filling his lungs enough to force his body up and get changed out of his dark blue plaid sweatpants. He pulled a white graphic tee over his head before yanking a pair of faded black jeans on and a new pair of socks.
"Ikuto? Going out somewhere?" Ikuto heard his mother ask as he headed downstairs to slip his sneakers on.
"Yeah," Ikuto murmured as he walked out before running down the street; he didn't even understand why he was bothering to visit Amu.
She's not the same...
She isn't the Amu he knew...
She doesn't remember anyone...
This doesn't change the fact that he still blames himself for all of this...
Ikuto would never forget the day, which was the day after their fight, he found out: Amu was missing. He remembered running down endless streets screaming her name, crying every time he was out-of-breath at his own limitations. He remembered the night he heard that the cops were going to stop looking and that they should all give up; that very same night, Ikuto had spent his first night in jail for punching one of them. (No record was kept on that event due to the officer believing that he was just a stressed out teen, unable to handle the possibility that she may never be found)
Ikuto shook his head as he realized that the hospital would be coming up soon; he walked in greeting the nurse at the front desk who kindly gave him a visitor's pass. As he neared Amu's hospital room, feelings of anguish and unease began filling him up on the inside. He swallowed back the lump of feelings as he opened the door to see just Amu in the room.
"Oh, uh... I thought your mom would be here as well... Amu" Ikuto closed the door behind him, shortly after taking a seat by the window in her room.
Amu only seemed to follow his movement with eyes that seemed a little more life-like than yesterday or as Ikuto mentally concluded might just be a trick of the light. Silence fell for a bit before Ikuto spoke again: "So... how are you?" no resonse.
"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see..." still no response.
"You probably still hate me, huh? I should probably go... I-I just wanted to see how you were doing," standing up and heading for the door, "to...day" Ikuto's final word slowed as he noticed something out of the corner of his eye that made him turn his head.
Amu still sat in her hospital bed but now she was holding out a plastic cup towards him; Ikuto moved slowly closer to the out-stretched cup asking: "Are you thirsty or something?"
She nodded her head slowly making Ikuto chuckle as he took the cup promising to return with something for her to drink; he headed to the nurses station that was right outside Amu's room.
"Oh~ Does Amu need more ice chips?" One of them asked.
"I think she just wants something to drink," He replied, holding up the cup he was handed.
"Wait right here," Ikuto leaned on the counter as he waited but noticed something behind the counter that caught his attention; Amu's hospital chart.
His eyes scanned over the top paper; his hand slowly making a fist as the nurse placed the newly-filled cup beside him.
"She may not want to drink it so if you have to much trouble just come out and get one of us," The nurse explained as Ikuto grabbed the cup and walked back into Amu's room.
He shut the door right behind him and placed the cup into Amu's hands; he sat back down by the window watching her take a sip of the liquid in the cup before shortly spitting it out and placing the cup down on the stand beside the bed.
"You need to drink that," Ikuto sighed as Amu's eyes darted over to him, small flashes of rebellion appearing in her eyes.
Ikuto stood up, repeating his previous statement before taking a seat on the bed; Amu only watched his action in what appeared to be curiosity. He picked up the cup and brought it over to her; Amu's face turned away.
"Amu... C'mon or I'll have to get one of the nurses in here," The sentence seem to make Amu's head turn straight back to him in a mere second making him wonder if she was a little scared of the nurses.
"Then how am I going to get you to drink this then?"
Amu just sat and stared, watching the muscles in his face twitch in thought; she had no idea why this strange teen had reappeared but last night when he had hugged her, she had felt something warm and painful filled her up. She had so many questions that had yet to be answered...
Why did he look so sad when being here?
Why does he think she hates him?
and most importantly, who is he exactly?
Amu's P.O.V.:
"-mu...? Amu," a hand waved in front of my face making my eyes focus again on the male in front of me, "Umm," looking around unsteadily before continuing, "listen I don't know if I should say anything but," sigh, "I want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened to you during those two years you were around..." I don't know why but I felt words tearing in my throat, wanting to tell him that it wasn't his fault...
...but nothing was coming out...! I lowered my head feeling a little useless that I couldn't comfort the stranger; said stranger said my name again.
I felt something warm ruffle the top of my head; glancing up I saw a saddened smile that shortly after said: "I should get going,"
The bed I sat on, lifted slightly from the losing the male's weight; I pushed myself forward off the bed and after the strange teen but in the process slipped over my own wary legs. I felt myself hit something warm and hard before I heard my name again and felt my body steady; I looked up to see he was still here. I wrapped my bandaged arms around his torso and hugged him, hoping he would understand I was trying to comfort him.
"Looks like she wants you to know: she's not mad at you and wants to comfort you," I heard my mother voice behind us; I poked my head around his side and smiled.
Mom!
"Good morning, sweetie~ Why are you up and out of bed? Ikuto, would you mind carrying her back?" So his name is Ik- Huh?
My focus quickly became fuzzy and then everything went black...
Ikuto's P.O.V.:
It was a good thing I was still supporting Amu's weight; I lifted her unconscious body up and laid her back down on the bed. I tried to leave the room but Midori's voice stopped me: "You know you really should stay... a psychologist is coming in and I know you are desperate to know what happened over these past two yea-"
"I think I know enough!" I hadn't meant for that to come out so loud but it did.
I bit my bottom lip as I recalled what I had read on Amu's chart...
/...there appears to be signs of sexual trama.../
Yeah, I had learned enough; some bastard had raped Amu! I relaxed once I heard the door open and a lady, who I immediately recognized as Nagi's mother, walked in.
"Morning, Midori~ How's Amu?" I looked off to the side; the sweet tone Ms. Fujisaki always used around adults always made me remember all the times she showed her 'true colors'.
"Morning... She's fine... I actually just got back. I was bringing some of Amu's stuff in hopes it may help," It was obvious even to me that Midori really wanted Amu to recover quickly.
"Good idea~" Ms. Fukisaki smiled as she took a seat in the chair closest to Amu's bed and I knew she'd be ordering us around soon.
"Midori, I want you to place Amu's stuff around the room. Ikuto, I want you to hold Amu's hand." and so the orderi-wait! what?
"Wait... I have to what?" I had to ask; I couldn't believe my ears.
"I know you're not that stupid that I have to repeat myself," I gulped back the venom she threw at me before taking a seat on Amu's bed and grabbing her hand gently.
"Now wake her up, Ikuto." I nodded my head and gently shook her awake, occasionally calling her name.
Amber eyes slowly appeared under pale eyelids as Amu sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking around; sensing that I had to now do an introduction: "Amu, this is Ms. Fujisaki... She's here to help you recover your mental state so we can find out why we can't hear you talk at the moment," without realizing it I had moved a little closer.
Amu only nodded her head and moved her eyes over to Ms. Fujisaki, who in turn began: "Amu, do you know who this is?" pointing to Midori.
Amu nodded her head.
"Good," Ms. Fujisaki smiled before pointing to me: "Do you know who this is?"
Amu looked over at me and stared... before suddenly nodding very slowly.
"Good job... it seems like she unsure though," Ms. Fujisaki concluded.
I listened and watched as she went through a few more 'yes-or-no' sort of questions before suddenly changing her approach.
"Say the first letter of your name," Both Midori and I drew our attention to Amu, who closed her mouth tightly.
"Ikuto... I'll need you to do this exercise with her..." She told me as she left the room without another word.
I looked over at Amu and repeated to request: "Amu, say the first letter of your name."
Amu glanced at the door before looking back at me: "... ...a... ..."
My eyes widened; as did Midori's I'm sure.
"Amazing," I whispered as I heard Ms. Fujisaki ask Midori to come here leaving me and Amu alone.
I tried to keep it going: "Can you say 'B'?"
My chest leap for a moment but sank when a frustrated frown appeared on Amu's face; not today I suppose. I sighed turning on the t.v then ruffling Amu's hair with a soft: "It's okay~ You did a good job," and a smile.
We watched t.v together for a while until Amu's mom came in asking if I could stay a little longer so she could go and get something to eat; I nodded my head and watched the last ten minutes of the show we were watching. A soft poke to my shoulder showed Amu pointing to the screen and tugging on my shirt. I glanced at the screen to see they were advertising the small autumn festival that our town holds every year.
"Do you want to go see it?" I asked her not expecting her to reply so quickly; Amu nodded her head quickly.
"Alright, let's get you changed into something that won't leave you with a cold." I slid off the bed and grabbed a jacket Midori had brought her before helping Amu off the bed, who was still pretty weak in the legs.
I picked her up bridal-style and carried her out; when confronted with the nurses I lied and told them she had to use the bathroom before silently slipping out the doors leading to the front. The nurse at the front desk, luckily was too busy trying to find a file to notice me carrying Amu out of the hospital. I let out a huge sigh of relief before I began heading down the street to the festival.
"Amu, poke me if you start getting cold okay?" I felt a soft poke in my chest showing she understood.
We walked for a few minutes before seeing the paper lanterns hanging all around us and that's when I switched the position I was carrying her in. Now she was on my back; I felt a tug before her arm extended past me and pointed to a shop selling takoyoki.
"Want some?" I saw her nod; I ordered us both a chocolate one.
I sat us down on a nearby bench that kept us away from the crowd before hanging Amu's takoyoki to her; I kept glancing over to see if she was cold. I didn't want her to catch a cold after all... After we both finished our snack, I picked her back up onto my back and we walked around visiting whatever stalls Amu pointed out.
This was beginning to feel like a-I shook my head violently lowering my head; I have no right to think like that! It's all my fault. All my fault. All. My. Fau-A soft poke to my cheek and a pair of curious amber eyes appearing in my peripheral vision; I sighed.
"I'm fine, Amu" I smiled sadly as I walked further to the main attraction: the big maple tree in the middle of the festival.
I walked us both closer to the tree, staying away from the larger crowd to avoid any problems; I felt her arms tighten around my neck but not to the point where it was suffocating. I sighed, closing my eyes letting a thought pass freely through my mind, 'This is my punishment...'; "Isn't it amazing, Amu?" I asked her softly.
I could hear a soft gasp of amazement behind me; 'she always did enjoy these sort of things too much' I chuckled in my head. It was shortly after that that I noticed her grasp loosening; "A-Amu?" No reaction/response. I moved us to the nearest bench and sat her down, turning quickly I saw that she was only sleeping. I picked her up again but this time bridal-style and headed back to the hospital; "Ah shit..." I cursed under my breath as I saw Midori and my mother enter the hospital! I ran around the side, hoping to find a patient that would let me in instead I found a window that one of the child, from the pediatric's wing, had left open. I slid Amu inside and climbed in afterwards; I picked her up again slipping into the hall, hoping I was in front of our mothers' pace. The nurses at the station were, by the looks of it, off caring to other patients. I slipped into Amu's room, about to place Amu back on her bed thinking I was in the clear until: "Ikuto-kun?"
I glanced over to see Midori and my mother staring at me by the opening of Amu's room; I froze still holding Amu.
N-now what?
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Csilla: I would like to thank those that left a review on the first part of this...
my-dreams-ur-entertainment : I hope this chapter &the one after this is a good continuation of the first part~ :D
mindcaster15 : Thank you for your review;; I really do love reading your kind of reviews so I hope this chapter was a lot clearer than the previous one...
&finally Kris (mosherocks4) for helping me pick which version of chapter two I should go with XD
Ikuto: I knew you loved tormenting me... why else would you write this?
Csilla: ;3; I'll make it up to you &write a beautiful happy ending oneshot~!
Ikuto: *raises eyebrow*
Csilla: ...later, of course after I write up the idea that's been banging around in my head since before Speech class :3