OC Oneshots n' Stuff
Chapter 2: Drunk Girlfriend
This idea was sent in by WhiteFangWolf. And also to note. I have decided that OCs can be accepted
So... LET US BEGIN!
"Blech..." Sean walked into the living room, his face covered in lip marks.
"Let me guess... Nightmare?" Hal asked, and Sean nodded.
"At least I was able to heal in the process of one chapter... Thank you, Terror"
"ATREYUUUUUUU!"
"... I don't understand what that has to do with anything, but alright, I guess."
"Hey, dude" Nega floated into the room.
"What is it NOW, Nega? After having my skeleton torn out from my body, I don't think you should even dare come close to me" Sean glared at his shadow clone.
"Well... My non canon daughter Agorith wanted me to make it up for you for the whole 'mix up'. So, after beating the crap out of every random hobo, elderly person, and clown I saw on the street, I made enough money for you and your girlfriend to take a nice night on the town. Also I robbed the Ninja Squad" Nega handed over a large wad of money.
"Wait a minute... Why does your non canon daughter even care about me?" A arm suddenly wrapped around his shoulder and rubbed his arm lovingly. It belonged to Agorith, who had ruby red hair, crystal blue eyes, and wore a black dress.
"Because I think your adorable!" Agorith leaned close to his ear. "And also because it pisses off my father, now pucker up"
"GAH! NO, STOP KISSING MY ENEMY!" Nega pulled his hair out of his head as he watched Agorith make out with the confused pyro.
"Mmmm" Agorith moaned after she finished her make out, walking off afterwords.
"GET. OUT. OF. MY. SIGHT. NOW" Nega glared venomously at Sean, the pyro running off immediately to go tell Samantha about the date.
Some time later...
In a galaxy far far away.
"PINGAS"
We now bring you back to the Tom and Gary Show!
"Wow... I haven't worn this for a while..." Sean looked down at his green tuxedo.
"You look like a retarded Riddler on crack" Young Sean continued to watch his tv show, 'Lifestyles of Robotnik'.
"I think you'll enjoy this much more" Sean snatched the remote and flipped the channel.
My Little Pony.
My Littl-
SMASH!
"H.E.L.L.N.O!" Young Sean began to break the tv, first with his bat, then with Seans Homewrecker, and then with Nikolais mini gun and Tavishs sticky bombs.
"Your paying for a new one..."
"So, how do I look, Sean"
"Well, Sam, let me... see..." Sean turned around to check out Samantha, stopping when he got a look at her. She was wearing a beautiful black strapless dress, with a Deep Dragongem necklace around her neck.
"I-I uh.. I... Hrm-"
"I think my chest area might have grown a little, I tried this dress on earlier today, and it fit perfectly, but now it feels so constricting..." Samantha tried adjusting the tight dress.
"Is it that, or maybe it's because your getting fa-"
CLANK
Young Sean was crushed under an anvil.
"You never talk about a womans weight. EVER. So anyways, dear, how do I look?" Samantha turned back to Sean.
"Uh... Der... Derp..."
"You know, maybe I should just change into something else, like a sweater or someth-"
"NO TIME NOW! GOTTA GO FAST!" Sean pushed his girlfriend out of the door at a break neck pace. He slammed a wad of money onto the table next to the door.
"MONEYSONTABLEORDERPIZZABYE!" He slammed the door, almost breaking off the handle. Pyke and Telesia headed over to the money.
"So... What kind of pizza should we get, sis?" Pyke held the money.
"Peperroni, Hawaiian, and a order of hot wings!" She grabbed the phone, and ordered the meal. After ordering, she smiled.
"And now..." She headed upstairs.
"Now what?" Pyke looked upstairs, and ran as soon as he heard the booming footsteps.
"KIDNAP THE PIZZA GUY! BEAT HIM WITH A STICK! THROW HIM IN THE OCEAN AND SEE IF HE IS SAD!" Telesia came riding down the staircase inside a walking bath tub with four legs, with Pyramid Head and Nemesis sitting in it also. The tub with the little girl and horror game villains climbed through the door, and waited to ambush the delivery man.
"Why can't she get normal friends..." Pyke got out of his hiding spot behind the couch, frightened.
At the Super Fancy Restaurant of Fanciness
"Here we are, right on time for our reservation" Samantha walked in, her arm being around Sean's.
"Hello, I am generic French man, may I show you to your table?" The short waiter asked in a very un-French accent.
"Uh... Sure..." Sean said, suspicious of the supposed French waiter. The couple passed by some familiar faces sitting down at tables, like Zach the Scout and Nikolais mingun Sasha, JK and Alice, Nega by himself, and a nervous Jeff and Natalia holding her barbed tail at his neck to prevent him from escaping.
"Your seats" The two sat into their booth at the very back of the restaurant.
"Oh hey, look who's in the booth right next to ours" Samantha pointed to the people staring back at them. It was none other Ike, wearing his regular clothes, and Rio. Rio had magenta colored neck length hair, blue eyes, and was wearing a blue shirt and dress pants.
"Long time no see you two" Rio waved to Sean and Samantha.
"Yep..." Sean muttered.
"Madames, come with me and try some of our fancy new drinks" The short waiter with the not so French accent came by, abruptly grabbing Rio and Samantha's hand, and walked them to the bar counter.
"Ah... My girlfriend..." Sean thought, looking over the menu again and then to Samantha.
"Now, do you wanna try our new special ladies?" The short waiter began to make some drinks.
"Uh... What is that?" Rio asked.
"The Super Tastic Chemical Bomb, wanna try it?" He put two large glasses filled with a green glowing liquid in front of them.
"Well... Why not?" Rio began chugging down her glass.
"I'm not that good with alcohol... I don't think I should drink it..." Samantha said, when suddenly sixties Spiderman appeared behind her.
"Remember Samantha, if anyone gets mad or pissed at you during whatever may happen, just say..."
"Say what?"
"YOLO" Sixties Spiderman held up a peace symbol.
"Well, alright, I'll try it for fun" Samantha picked up the glass.
"That a girl, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find those f***s I don't give" Sixties Spiderman headed out the front door. Samantha was finished in nearly five seconds flat, along with Rio, and the two soon had goofy smiles on their faces.
Sean turned his attention to Rio, and he had a 'ME GUSTA' face on as soon as he looked at her.
"Hey! What the hell man?" Ike grabbed Sean by the neck.
"What? It's part of this one shots planned plot!" Sean yelled.
"I know, and this is the part where I kill you for looking at my girlfriend!" Ike raised his sword, Ragnell, over Seans head, and prepared to kill the pyro.
"Wait a minute..." Sean pulled out a book of paper. "THIS PART WASN'T IN REHEARSAL!"
Ike swung Ragnell down as Sean closed his eyes to brace for the end. But it never came
"So..." The short waiter had caught the tip of Ragnell. "Your the one who stole my future wife?"
"Oh no... Don't tell me..." The waiter ripped off his face, revealing it to be none other than Young Sean.
"Oh no... There's TWO of you?" Ike asked.
"Yep..." Sean shrugged.
"Your going down, blueberry" Young Sean ripped Ragnell out of Ikes hands, and threw it across the room.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" Young Sean cracked his fists.
"ATATATATATATATATATATATA!" Young Sean began to punch Ike at a insanely fast rate
"WAATTAAAAAAAA!" Ike was sent flying through the wall and outside to the parking lot.
"And thats that" Young Sean smiled, but got slapped in the back of the head by Sean.
"GET OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Sean kicked him out the hole Ike flew through.
"Hey..." Rio hiccuped, stumbling towards the hole the two were thrown through.
"Wait for me, Mike and Ikes" Rio giggled at her joke, and tripped through the giant hole.
"I should go see what Sam's doing" Sean started to head over to the counter.
"ANOTHER!" Samantha slammed down a empty glass.
"I think you've had enough..." Luigi, the real bartender, commented.
"GET. ME. ANOTHER!" Samantha slammed the table angrily.
"I'm sorry, mam, but we can't give you any-"
"SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!" Samantha thrust her hand out, in it a black leather wallet.
"Wait a minute..." Sean checked his pockets.
"How did she get MY wallet?" Sean ran over to his girlfriend.
"Sam, are you alri-"
"Ooh~ HellOOOOO handsome!" Samantha grabbed Sean by the back of his head, and gave him a big and sloppy kiss, turning back to Luigi to grab another drink.
"Samantha... How much have you drank?" Sean asked her.
"She drank half of our entire supply! She's a crazy!" Luigi ran off to avoid the monster hunters drunk rage.
"This is worse than the Babyface Blaster, Razorback and the Market Gardener. COMBINED!" Sean rubbed some alcohol off his lips that from when his girlfriend gave him the 'kiss'.
"Your a cutie!"
Samantha was currently making out with a potted fern in the corner of the now completely empty restaurant, save for Nega sitting by himself, eating some pasta.
"Hey, little asshole!" Sean yelled to Young Sean.
"What?" The kid pyro asked.
"What did you give her to make her this loopy? I mean, a glass of wine gives her the giggles, but THIS"
"NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN! NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU!" Samantha was dancing around the restaurant, singing into a spork and colliding with every table and chair she saw.
"Well, I just made a green drink out of all the alcohol or alcohol based things I could find in the bar, and blended them to make it." He shrugged.
"Jeezuz... This is the worst date ever..." Sean hung his head in embarrassment. Samantha randomly bumped into him.
"OUTTA MY WAY JACKASS!" She socked him in the face, giving him a black eye and knocking him to the ground.
"Jerk off!" She began dancing around the place.
"She gets points for doing that, though she still is a bland girlfriend" Young Sean chuckled at Seans new injury.
"Alright, I'll deal with you later, short me. C'mon honey" Sean grabbed Samantha by the arm and headed out the door.
"But we were meant to be!" Samantha cried, reaching out to the potted fern she was making out with beforehand. Young Sean followed out the hole too, leaving Nega the only person in the restaurant.
"Man..." Nega sighed. "Must be nice to have a girlfriend..."
Back at the House of Terror.
"Any last words, Pizza Man?" Telesia had hung the pizza boy over a pot of lava, with PH and Nemesis watching from the sidelines.
"I REGRET MY LIFE!" The pizza man cried.
"Thats what I thought, cut the rope Nemmy!"
Nemesis reached for the rope, when suddenly, the front door slammed open and in walked Sean carrying a squirming Samantha in his arms.
"Uh..." Telesia hid the empty bucket behind her back. "This isn't what it looks like?"
"What? I don't care about that pizza boy, dear. He's always late on delivery, so go ahead and melt him!" Sean put Samantha down.
"Go upstairs to our room, ok?" Sean explained, getting a big nod from his girlfriend as she stumbled up the stairs.
"Is mommy alright?" Pyke asked, watching 'Annie: Girl of the Stars' on tv.
"Uh... Yeah, kids, she's perfectly fine"
THUNK
Samantha came sliding down the stairs on her face, and stopped right at the pyros feet.
"I AM A STEGOSAURUS!" She looked up with a goofy grin, giggling uncontrollably.
"Lets go to bed, honey" Sean carried her up the stairs to their room. Nega slowly entered the mansion after they left, sighing heavily as he went to the basement to sleep.
"Sam, stop squirming so much!" Sean kept fighting to keep Samantha in his arms, and finally just gave up and tossed her on to the bed.
"Can you stay here and get into your night attire while I go and help Telesia hide the evidence of the pizza guys death?" Sean asked Samantha, who was looking at her hand.
"OH MY GOD!" She screamed.
"What?"
"I HAVE HANDS!" Samantha began to clap like a mad person.
"Alright, that's it. Sam, get your nightwear on"
"No!" She chuckled with a smug smile.
"I swear I will take that dress off you and change you myself if you don't"
"I swear I will bite your ear off if you do!" Samantha chuckled, bearing her teeth like a rabid animal.
"Alright, that's enough!" Sean grabbed a hold of her dress, and ripped it off of her in one pull.
"Now stay still while-"
CLANK
Sean was interrupted by the sound of falling pots and pans.
"Damn it! Stay here for a little bit while I go check on things, alright"
"Give me the French fries!"
"I'll take that as a yes" Sean ran downstairs, leaving a nude Samantha sitting on the bed.
"Screw you!" She ran over to the window and slipped it open.
"Your not my father!" She leapt out the window, and ran off into the night.
Later on in the night...
"Dammit! Where did she go? I checked everywhere in the mansion for her!" Sean paced back and forth in front of the bed. The bedroom door suddenly opened, and standing there was the naked Samantha.
"Where have you been? IT's TWO IN THE MORNING!" Sean began to go into a rant, but stopped when he noticed the suggestive smile on her face.
"Uh... Sam? I don't like that look your giving me..."
Samantha was slowly walking closer to him, staring at him like he was a giant steak.
"Sam..."
She giggled sweetly, continuing her advance.
"Oh lord..."
Samantha tackled him onto the bed, and dragged him under the covers.
The following morning...
"Blech... What stinks?" Sean thought, slowly opening his eyes, and instantly regretted doing so.
The room was covered with random spots of bright green, glowing, shrimp filled vomit. It was on the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the furniture, in Samantha's hair, on her clothes, and some was even on Sean's head.
"Wow... I think I should hide anything with alcohol in it from her from now on" Sean said.
"OUT OF THE WAY!" Samantha suddenly jumped up from the bed, and ran towards the bathroom.
"And there I was thinking the bathroom would be the only place untouched..." Sean thought, heading downstairs to get breakfast.
"Shes still up there, vomiting up a storm.." Sean thought, taking a drink of his orange juice, and listening to the sick sounds everyone could hear from upstairs.
"I just wonder what she did after escaping outside when I left her alone for five minutes..."
SMASH!
Sean dropped his bagel when he looked at who had smashed through the wall.
"Which one of you mortals was the psychopath naked lunatic that stole my plans for Earthrealms conquest?" Shao Kahn asked, wielding his hammer with rage. Another hole smashed open right next to the one Shao Kahn made.
"WHO SAID THAT I WAS WEAKER THAN A GIMPED HIPPY?" Saxton Hale, the CEO of Mann. Co, finishing off his raw steak.
SMASH!
"Who stole the sacred sword of my village!" Ryu Hayabusa appeared from the shadows.
"And who came to my house and farted in my face?" Green of the Ninja Squad asked, climbing through one of the holes.
"AND WHO WAS CALLING ME A EMO GARY OAK! ?" Nega Scott, Scott Pilgrims evil twin brother, shouted, standing next to the group of angry men.
"Oh... So that's what she did..." Sean thought.
"It was the dork-a-doofus sitting on the couch!" Young Sean pointed to Sean.
"Geez... Thanks asshole me..."
"GET HIM!" Green charged with the other three.
"COME AT ME BROS!" Sean charged back at them, prepared to fight them all and save the day.
And then he died
THE END!
Credits
Rio belongs to WhiteFangWolf
I do not own anything but my OCs
Grubber ate the rest of the credits, sorry.
PEACE OUT MO FOS!