Valtor materialized with a gust of wind and a dash of purple smoke, startling Diaspro, who dropped her phone in surprise. The wizard's eyes were a crimson red, and it was pretty easy to see why.

"Is that a joint?" Diaspro asked, pointing to the rolled up doobie in Valtor's hand.

"That's not important right now." the wizard replied, magically whisking his drugs into a pocket universe for later use. "What did you summon me for?"

"Somebody stole my fanfiction over the Internet, and I need you to find them and kill them." Diaspro said, clenching her fist. "My life has already been ruined enough, I don't some petty plebeian fucking around with it even more online."

Valtor covered his mouth with his hand to disguise the smirk that crept onto his face. He privately thought that the whole situation was laughable, who would care so much about a ridiculous story based on some cartoon? But Diaspro wore his mark, and was therefore entitled to his help. At least for now. The wizard regained his composure and put a reassuring hand on Diaspro's shoulder, which came off as more than a little creepy to the fairy.

"Have no fear my dear, Valtor is here." he said. "I will use all the power at my disposal to locate the one who copied your story."

"That's fantastic. Stop touching me." Diaspro responded, removing Valtor's hand from her person. "So when are you going to use your almighty magic to find out who did it?"

The wizard looked around shiftily after being asked the question. "Ah, yes, my unmatched sorcery prowess requires... space. I'm going to have to ask to be alone with your laptop for a few minutes." he said.

Diaspro wasn't sure if Valtor was trustworthy, but his reputation didn't exist for nothing. If she wanted to punish the thieving bastard that dared take her story, she would need to let the wizard do his work. "Fine, just don't look into any of my personal files. Just because you're some kind of notorious villain doesn't mean I'm afraid of you." Diaspro stated, leaving the room.

Once he had the room to himself, Valtor let out a throaty evil laugh. He would eventually get to the bottom of the fanfic theft, but not before he enjoyed some questionable videos on the Internet. The wizard opened the laptop and immediately went to his favorite adult website, Wildwitches dot com, where he proceeded to view an explicit tape of Darcy and a broomstick which will not be detailed here or anywhere else.

"I had no idea she was that flexible." Valtor chuckled. Then he got serious; it was time to start looking for the culprit. However, rather than using his considerable magic, the wizard merely pulled out his phone and pressed a few buttons.

"Hi, this is Timmy. Who am I speaking with?" the voice on the other end of the line asked.

"Hey Timmy, this is WeedWizard69 from World of Warcraft, I'm in your clan." Valtor said. "I need your help with something."

"Oh, hey man. Sure thing!" Timmy replied. "Wait a minute, how do you know my number?"

"That's not important right now. What is important is that a friend of mine had her fanfiction stolen and she wants to find out who did it. Do you think you could hack the system and find out?"

"Not a problem, just send me a link by email and we'll be good to go. By the way, you still on for the raid tonight?" Timmy asked.

"You know it, Horde bros forever." Valtor said, hanging up. Then he opened the page Diaspro had marked as the stolen story and forwarded it to Timmy. "Excellent. Now all I have to do is wait." Valtor grinned, lighting up a joint.

Outside the door, Diaspro paced back and forth restlessly. If she were a weaker individual, the events of the past couple of days would have left he a teary eyed emotional mess, but Diaspro was strong. She had been humiliated and robbed from several times before, and each tragedy further hardened her heart, like a diamond.