Chapter 2: Jennifer

Right away, Will knows something is up. She can tell by the way he looks at her when she walks out of Rossi's kitchen, by his quiet demeanor for the rest of dinner. To his credit, he says nothing at the party. Somehow he seems to sense that whatever it is, it's heavy, and he doesn't bring it up in the car either. It's only after Henry and Michael are fast asleep, and she's sitting on the edge of the bed in silence that he asks.

"Somethin's wrong, innit?" Will takes a seat beside her, setting his hand over hers. JJ manages to nod, trying to find the right words to explain this to him.

"There… there was a prison break. In multiple supermax prisons across the country. Thirteen serial killers have escaped." Her voice shakes as she speaks. It isn't the inmates she's afraid of, in over twelve years on the job she's seen much worse. It's what it means. Her family could be in danger – and not just her boys. But her team. Trying to track down the Dirty Dozen was hard enough on them, and that was just with one teammate to protect. Then Morgan almost lost Savannah and Hank. After that sort of year, they deserve a break. It seems they won't get one, though.

Just the opposite.

"People you've caught?" inquires Will.

She shrugs. "Some of them. The rest are new unsubs. We've got to find them, but there are still going to be regular cases coming in. God, there wasn't enough time to get all of them finished in the first place. All those people who need us, and…" Having been the team's communications liason, she knows how hard it is to triage mountains of case files. She could distance herself from it, the same way she detaches from victims in the field now. But that doesn't keep her from wondering if they've made the right choice. With double the workload, there will be more cases turned away. Ignored. Unsolved.

What are they supposed to do?

There has been enough loss this year, she doesn't understand why that long list needs to be added to. Just when she thinks they've found stable ground, the floor falls away and the world is turned upside down. Tonight has been no different.

"Will?" she asks. "Did I make the right choice?"

Still keeping a steady hold on her hand, he frowns. "Whaddaya mean?"

"This job. I thought I could do it, I thought I could be an agent and a mom. But in just two days, I've managed to put the boys in danger twice." Guns pointed at them. Serial killers that could come after them. The chance that one day, their mother might not come home from work.

"JJ, listen. You love your work. That hasn't changed since I met you. I can't ask you to give that up. It's always gonna be your choice. And whatever you decide would've been right." Will's voice is gentle, words that caress her spirit.

Even so, her hands begin to shake. Tears spring to her eyes and she tries, tries, to keep herself grounded. "I've always been in control of things. At work, I ran press conferences and kept the media in line. I know how to use behavior to track down unsubs. And I've been able to protect my family." She turns to face him, wide-eyed and visibly frightened. "But I can't control this. This is so much bigger than me, and I'm terrified."

He slides an arm around her shoulders to stop her from shaking, pulls her close to him. Will isn't as tall as some of her coworkers, but he is strong. Warm and sturdy. "I know," he whispers. "I know." That's all. No critiques, no ranting, no advice. Just understanding. Sometimes she thinks she takes him for granted, and it is moments like this that remind her just how much she appreciates him. And just how much he loves her.

Across the hall, Henry and Michael are sleeping soundly. How can she protet them? All she wants is to keep her boys safe. Michael is so tiny, so new to this world. He knows nothing of danger or evil. Innocent, that's what he is. Possessing an innocence that she so badly wants to protect. While Henry is older, he is still a child. Even when they're adults, she thinks she'll worry over them.

Is this how her own mother felt? Fretting over her daughters? Everything changed after Ros died. Her parents were so much more overprotective after that. Does her mother worry about her even now? Wondering if someday, some psychopath will cut her life short? To bury one daughter would be unbearable. To bury both would be unimaginable.

Perhaps it would have been easier if she stayed a communications liaison. Things were safer in that position. Distanced from the madness. Reporters are easier to wrangle than killers.

Those days are gone now, and no matter how much she might wish it, she can't go back. What's done is done. She can only move forward, doing her best to survive. When the world is too overwhelming, she makes a list in her head. It's a trick she learned from Spence, one that surprisingly worked. It calms her down. Reid, he memorizes all sorts of lists. Jennifer just has one.

A list of everything she has survived.

Rosaline's death.
The FBI Academy.
The dogs at Hankel's farm. Reid's abduction.
Shooting Jason Clark Battle.
Henry's birth.
Negotiating the release of Ellie Spicer.
Being forced away from her team.
Working at the Pentagon.
A miscarriage.
Emily's funeral.
Becoming a profiler.
Izzy Rogers.
Nearly losing Will. Twice.
Being tortured by Askari and Hastings.
PTSD.
Michael's birth.

When she remembers all that she's gotten through, it gives her the strength to carry on. To push forward.

But she's never done it alone. She's not now, though she has lost friends along the way. No loss has been felt quite as strongly as Emily's. Emily, who has always been so much stronger than her. What would Emily do? In a situation like this, Emily would kick ass. She would fight back, and put those killers right back where they belonged.

Emily who taught her how to fly, who made her into a blackbird.

There is much to be nostalgic for tonight. In the morning, she will have to call Emily, and let her know what has happened. Because some of those inmates were put in prison by Prentiss too. JJ has a duty to warn her friend. Deep down she hopes that it might convince Emily to come back, if only for a little while. She could use a little extra strength. A good friend. Someone to make her laugh.

She does have a good husband though, and she leans into Will's shoulder. There is safety in his touch, security in his voice. Familiarity is a blessing. All she wants are more days where family comes before fighting evil. Lazy Saturdays where she and Will are both home, and they make pancakes with blueberries and chocolate chips and Henry insists on putting sprinkles in his. For extra fun. Afternoons when they build blanket forts and play soccer and snuggle up on the couch to watch movies and eat popcorn. Evenings to press close to Will, to escape into their bedroom for a few hours of intimacy and bliss.

Those are the things she misses when she is away, and those are the things she will work so hard to protect.

There is a storm coming, she can feel it in her bones. As a kid, she was frightened of thunder, just as Henry is now. As a parent, she is the one to soothe those fears. No storm is stronger than a mother's love, and she will push away the clouds through sheer power of will.

Thunder is just angels bowling. Lightning is just the angels bowling a strike, and they all celebrate. Monsters are just in your imagination, and the good guys will always win. And after the rain, will always come the rainbow.

Author's Note:

These really are quite short, but each chapter is more like a quick vignette or character study. By the way, the chapter titles are all storm terms that correspond to the first name of the character featured in that particular chapter.