Nella gets the biggest cookie that will ever be given out in figments!!
And Roxxi gets the second biggest cookie!!
gothic retard blablabla gets the third cookie!
And SNikorasu! You get the fourth cookie!
There will never be cookies as large as these again!
Nella gave the first review! Well, here it is – Act I: Scene II
NOVEL and GEM push GEMMA onto her bed, where they stand in front of her, looking down at her. They are both angry at not hearing this piece f news earlier and plan to interrogate GEMMA thoroughly.
NOVEL: How could you not tell us this!
GEM: Yeah, Gemma! I thought we were friends!
GEMMA opens her mouth to speak, but is quickly cut off.
NOVEL: And don't tell us that you didn't think it was important, 'cause you might have to get beat in here if you do!
GEM: Calm down Novel, I'm sure she has a good explanation. (turns to Gemma) How could you not tell us!
GEMMA: Well, I… don't know! I was just talking to him and he was like "I love you" and I was like oh my gosh what do I do? So then I was like "I love you too" and the next thing I knew, I was engaged!
GEM: How the-
GEM is cut off.
GEMMA: I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. I mean, I do love Simon, but engagement?! I'm kind of happy about it now, but it was kind of an accident at the time.
NOVEL: Gemma, please tell me how it is possible to get engaged accidentally, because I would really like to know.
GEMMA: I don't know!
GEM: How could you not know?
GEMMA: It just happened!
NOVEL: And you didn't tell anyone?
They all fail to notice the figure in the sky rapidly approaching GEMMA's window.
GEMMA: Well, I did tell someone, but you're not going to be mad because it wasn't you are you? Gem? Novel?
GEM: Yes! Of course I'm going to be mad!
NOVEL: Yes! As sure as I'm standing in this room I am going to be mad!
GEMMA: Well, I told Roxxi.
GEM: Roxxi!
NOVEL: Who the hell is Roxxi?! What is that?! (points at window)
A hang gliding figure is seen only a second before it comes in through the window. A thump is heard as ROXXI falls through the window. GEM and NOVEL scream. ROXXI jumps up, untangling herself from the hang glider. Suddenly, she looks up and grins.
ROXXI: Present!
NOVEL: Who the hell are you?!
GEM: What?! How'd you get in here? Gemma, I thought you locked the window.
Roxxi stands, dusting herself off and looking around confusedly.
ROXXI: I'm Roxxi! Weren't we taking attendance just now?
GEM/NOVEL: No…
ROXXI: Oh…well I just figured it was attendance, since everyone was calling each other's name and everything…so…yeah…who are you?
NOVEL: I'm Novel…
GEM: And I'm Gem…why are-
GEM stops as ROXXI suddenly hugs all three of them with a big smile on her face. GEM and NOVEL give each other looks that say "this girl must be crazy." and then they glare at GEMMA and ROXXI.
GEM: (whispering to Novel) Why the hell did she just hug us?
NOVEL: I don't know. I think there's something wrong with her. Look.
They look over to where ROXXI is conversing with GEMMA. ROXXI was not able to sit still and seemed to be an example for the phrase "bouncing off the walls". Her mouth moved at light speed while she talked and it made GEM and NOVEL dizzy just watching her.
NOVEL: Darn teenager.
GEM: We're teens too, remember?
NOVEL: But we're sophisticated.
GEM: If you think so…
ROXXI walks over to them and begins to speak.
ROXXI: I am so mad at Gemma She promised me that she was going to tell you guys about the engagement like a week ago! I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN!
GEM: You've known for a week?!
NOVEL: Edward…nice choice…
GEM: Stop getting distracted! Focus!
NOVEL: Oh, Right! Who are you?!
ROXXI: Who wants to jump out of the window!
GEM: Did we ask her that?
NOVEL: (To Gemma) Did she forget to take her medication or something?
GEMMA: How'd you guess?
ROXXI starts dancing, even though there is no music. GEM and NOVEL stare with their mouths hanging open. GEMMA studies her fingernails as if nothing is wrong.
The scene switches to the boys in the closet. They are whispering.
SNICKERS: Kartik, will you try to move away from me?
KARTIK: I can't help it, it's not like there's a lot of space in here!
SNICKERS: I don't care; you better get off of me! I know karate and I can break your arm.
KARTIK: Screw karate! I know Rakshana!
SNICKERS: Oh yeah? I could beat you any day! I just don't want to hurt you.
KARTIK: You couldn't hurt me if you tried! Bring it!
Both KARTIK and SIMON are in what can easily be recognized as a fighting stance (as well as can be done in a dark closet)
SIMON: Can you at least wait until we are out of this closet before you fight?
SNICKERS: I wasn't the one getting ready to fight!
KARTIK: Yeah, right. I was arguing with myself.
SIMON: I don't care if you talk to yourself, Kartik! Will you just shut up so I can hear what's going outside of the closet?
SNICKERS: Why don't you shut up!
KARTIK: I'm nice. I'm quiet. I'm trying to help.
SNICKERS glares at KARTIK, but he does not notice because it is dark in the closet.
SNICKERS: Shut up!
SIMON: Just be quiet for a minute!
SIMON puts his ear to the door. When he doesn't hear anything, he opens it and peaks out. Before he has a chance to say that the coast is clear, KARTIK practically runs over him in the effort to get to GEMMA. SIMON the reaches out and grabs KARTIK's leg, causing SNICKERS to trip over both SIMON and the fallen KARTIK, resulting in a rather large pile of guys in GEMMA's second-floor hallway.
KARTIK: Get off of me! (shoves Snickers)
SNICKERS: You know something? I don't like you. So…no. I won't get off. (gets up quickly and sits in Kartik's back.
SIMON: I wanted to be the one to do that! Get off of him! (shoves Snickers and then kicks Kartik)
This results in a scramble in which the following things happen: SNICKERS is slammed into the wall by KARTIK. KARTIK punches SIMON in his stomach. SNICKERS and SIMON both pick Kartik up and throw him over the stair rail. Luckily, GEMMA's grandmother had gone out and no one else was home. When Kartik made his way up the stairs, looking very much like an aggravated bear, SIMON spoke up.
SIMON: I have a better idea that all of this fighting. (smirks)
KARTIK looks thoughtful.
KARTIK: What is it?
SIMON: Well…the girls are having a girl talk...something they really don't want us to hear…need I say more?
SNICKERS: I really don't think that we should invade their privacy like that…
KARTIK: Come on, Snickers! It'll be fun! Haven't they ever done anything bad to you before?
SNICKERS carefully considers this. After remembering the many times that the girls had cornered him and tickled him, he agrees.
SNICKERS: Sure, why not.
The guys place themselves outside of Gemma's bedroom door, listening to their conversation.
NOVEL: I can't believe that you didn't tell us! Roxxi will you stop jumping on the bed!
ROXXI: BUT IT'S SO MUCH FUN!
GEMMA: ROXXI GET OFF OF MY BED BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!
ROXXI: BUT IT'S FUN!
GEM: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!
NOVEL: I DON'T KNO- I don't know.
GEM: So why are you getting married to Simon again?
GEMMA: I told you. It just happened!
ROXXI: (still jumping on bed) I'll tell you why. It's because she thinks Snickers is hot! And she's trying to make him jealous!
GEM/GEMMA: What?!
GEMMA: I never said that!
ROXXI: You didn't? Maybe that was me…
GEM: Aren't we getting a little distracted here?
GEMMA: If any of this is because someone is hot, I'd have been engaged to Kartik! Have you seen him?
GEM: Yeah. There's nothing to get excited about.
ROXXI: He's so hot that…he's just hot! But you know who's super hot? Edward Cullen.
NOVEL: Well, actually, he's cold, but that's beside the point… (smiles) Simon's kind of hot…and he's rich…
GEM: Novel!
NOVEL: Well, he is…
GEMMA: You can't have Simon!
NOVEL: Why not!
GEMMA: Because…I'm in love with him…and Kartik…and possibly Snickers…but Simon happens to be the one that I'm engaged to!
GEMMA flashes a ridiculously expensive platinum engagement ring at everyone. The many diamond sparkle so brightly that everyone is momentarily blinded.
ROXXI: Ah! The light! It burns! Can I touch it?!
NOVEL: That is soooo pretty!
ROXXI: This means that I can have Edward, right?
NOVEL: I don't know yet…no, you can't.
ROXXI: Why not!
NOVEL: Because he's a superhuman vampire with topaz eyes, that's why!
ROXXI: Yeah, well…I've met him!
NOVEL: In your dreams!
ROXXI: How'd you know?
GEM: Did we answer any of our questions just now?
GEMMA: No
NOVEL: But…We do know that Gemma thinks Kartik is hot!
The guys decide that they have had enough of girl talk and so they use SNICKERS as a battering ram to open the door. The girls are extremely angry and so they glare at them. The guys realize that they are now outnumbered, but proceed anyway.
NOVEL: Somebody better come up with an explanation and fast!
SIMON: Who's Roxxi?
ROXXI: (Bouncing up and down o her feet) I'm Roxxi! (waving her arms) I'M ROXXI!!
KARTIK: And why does she have that orange thing on her head? Is it dead? (he steps forward to poke it)
ROXXI: IT'S MY HAIR! DON'T TOUCH IT! AND YES, IT'S REAL! (she slaps his hand away)
SNICKERS: (smirking) She thinks I'm hot.
SIMON: Yes we all heard. (To Gemma) What I heard is that you think Kartik is hotter than I am!
GEMMA: Well actually, what I said was… (shrugs) yeah, that's what I said.
SIMON: But you told me that I was hot!
GEMMA: Yeah…It's just that Kartik's hotter.
SIMON: So what you're saying is that you think that he's hotter than I am? Hotter than me?
SIMON flips his hair and smiles, momentarily blinding everyone with the flash.
GEMMA: Yes.
SIMON's mouth drops open and he frowns. NOVEL goes over to stand next to him.
NOVEL: I think you're hot. If you're getting rid of her (points thumb at Gemma) we can get married...
GEM: Novel!
NOVEL: What? Its not like they're married…and he's like rich hotness!
GEMMA: Novel, you cannot have him! I am engaged to Simon!
NOVEL: (frowns and mumbles) Fine…whatever…
ROXXI: I GET EDWARD!!
SNICKERS: I though that you thought I was hot!
ROXXI: Come on, we're talking about Edward here!
NOVEL: I thought I got Edward!
ROXXI: HE'S MINE! (snarls and bares teeth at Novel)
NOVEL: So who do I get? You know what? Never mind…I don't even care anymore…So…Why were you guys listening outside the door again?
KARTIK: I'm just a figment, remember? Ask these two. (points at Simon and Snickers)
SNICKERS: It was Simon's idea!
SIMON holds up his hands and backs away from the girls.
SIMON: Now, I can explain…
GEMMA, NOVEL and GEM advance towards SIMON with murderous glares. ROXXI is back on the bed, doing something she calls the jimmie dance. Simon tries to get run one out the door, but it is to no avail. GEM blocks his way, while GEMMA and NOVEL each grab a limb and fling him over the stair rail.
GEMMA: YOU'RE LUCKY THIS RING IS SO PRETTY AND EXPENSIVE SIMON, OTHERWISE I'D BREAK THIS ENGAGEMENT!
GEM: THAT WAS MEAN, SIMON!
NOVEL: AND STUPID! YOU'D BETTER SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN!
GEMMA: Wait, Novel. No one is going into his room when he sleeps but me!
NOVEL: Darn it! I thought that plan would work!
SNICKERS: Why don't we just leave Simon alone before you kill him?
KARTIK: Yeah…I don't feel like cleaning any blood today.
KARIK AND SNICKERS escort the girls back to GEMMA's room, leaving SIMON to his own devices to get up. ROXXI is still doing the jimmie dance on GEMMA'S bed.
SNICKERS: Getting beat up by girls…that's worse than three guys trapped in a closet!
KARTIK: I'll have to use that to blackmail him sometime soon…
Suddenly, hey hear frantic knocking on GEMMA's bedroom door.
SIMON: GEMMA!!LET ME IN! I'M SORRY.
ROXXI: Who is it?
GEM and NOVEL look at ROXXI like she's crazy, but she pays no attention and goes back to doing the jimmie dance.
SNICKERS: I don't think they're going to let you back in. Wish I could help…not!
KARTIK: Simon…how could you be s stupid?
NOVEL: Do you two think you're any better? Get out!
NOVEL, GEM and GEMMA proceed to push the two boys out of the door and lock it once more.
SNICKERS: Did that just happen?
KARTIK: How the hell did we get stuck with each other again?
SNICKERS: I don't know…two big, strong guys…and they kicked us out…how did that even happen?
SIMON: Because they're smarter than we are, that's why.
NOVEL: You got that right!
GEM: Please don't tell me that you guys just figured that out!
NOVEL: Don't even bother to answer! All of you can just go to hell!
GEMMA: Yeah! And Simon, you don't have to worry about sleeping with me. You can all just sleep together now!
NOVEL/GEM/SNICKERS/KARTIK: YOU'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER?!
SIMON: (obviously lying) Erm…yes…
GEMMA: YOU WISH! (to Gem and Novel) No, we aren't…I just thought is would make a good threat…
NOVEL: (shrugs) Works for me…let's just leave them out there to suffer without us.
GEM: Yeah, they can just get to know each other a little better.
GEMMA's eyes pop open.
GEMMA: I don't want Simon to get to know Kartik! (lunges for doorknob while Gem and Novel hold her back) What if Kartik tells him what we did?
GEM: What you did?
NOVEL: What did you do?
GEMMA: Not that! Well you see…we got kind of close, not that close…except we were almost there.
GEM/NOVEL/SIMON: WHAT?!
SIMON picks KARTIK up in a jealous rage and throws him over the stair rail. SNICKERS is shaking his head, wondering how he could have possibly gotten stuck with these two, while SIMON runs down the stairs to finish KARTIK off.
SNICKERS: Girls! Get out here!
NOVEL: We're not letting you in here!
SNICKERS: Trust me; you really want to see this!
The door slowly opens, and the girls walk out (except ROXXI, who bounces out)
GEMMA: Simon!
GEM: So…why are they fighting?
SNICKERS: Simon…overheard what you said about you and Kartik (thinks) Yeah. That's about it.
Those watching wince as KARTIK picks up a lamp and hits SIMON in his head with it.
GEMMA: YOU'D BETTER BE ABLE TO PAY FOR THAT!!
ROXXI: GO KARTIK!!
GEM: What's the point of this again?
SIMON yanks down one of the curtains and begins to strangle KARTIK with it.
GEMMA: STOP DESTROYING MY LIVING ROOM OR I'M GING TO HAVE TO COME DOWN THERE AND BEAT THE TWO OF YOU!!
NOVEL: YEAH SIMON! GET HIM!!
SNICKERS: COME ON! THIS IS THE WORST FIGHT I'VE EVER SEEN! I COULD BEAT THE TWO OF YOU!
GEM: WHY ARE YOU TWO BREAKING UP GEMMA'S LIVING ROOM!!
KARTIK and SIMON each pick up a floor lamp and engage in a sword fight.
GEMMA: PUT THOSE DOWN!
SNICKERS: GUYS, STOP BEING STUPID!
GEM: GO FIGHT SOMEWHERE ELSE!
NOVEL: GO SIMON! (stops as she receives glares from the other three) I mean…DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW OFF NOW? IT IS NOT THE TIME TO BE MACHO!
GEMMA: SIMON, STOP IT NOW! I'M TAKING IT OFF!
GEMMA begins to slide her engagement ring off of her finger. SIMON sees it and stops fighting KARTIK. SIMON turns around.
SIMON: NO!!
A loud crash is heard. SIMON falls to the ground revealing a grinning KARTIK, wielding the floor lamp like a bat.
GEMMA: KARTIK!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!
The scene fades out with a furious Gemma chasing Kartik out of the door.
SIMON: What just happened? Ow! My head! Its feels like I got hit with a lamp!
Author's Notes: 26th March, 2008
Two guys fighting! And Simon goes into jealous rages!
I think it's funny! Tell me that you think it's funny!
Send me a review to let me know that you like it!
And put this on your story alerts! I might just change the name!