Soundwave's Twelve Pains of Christmas
AN: By the way there is a poem in the end that has one curse word in it. It's human, but I tried blurring it out. Hope you like it :D
Day Five:
"My lord," Knockout gave a quick bow to his master, "I have some interesting news about our Third in Command."
Megatron leaned forward in curiosity, Knockout took this as a sign to continued, "I sent a few Vehicons to look through Soundwave's property, and we discovered a few interesting items."
Some Vehicons came into the room, pushing in large metal carts caring bright, colorful, items. Megatron raised an optic ridge. There were so many different shapes and sizes, and they all seemed to be in the same colored group; red, green, blue, white. "What are those things?"
"Well, my research says, it's for an Earth holiday called Christmas." Megatron stood from his seat, and decided to take a closer inspection. He poked the strange glowing, colorful, light bulbs. They were all small and tear dropped shaped, with the end being smaller and a little sharper then it probably should be. One tap of his claw, and the glass shattered into shiny, red dust. "Interesting, what do these do?"
Knockout cleared his vocals, "I believe, humans use these, 'Christmas lights' to decorate their homes and trees."
Normally Megatron wouldn't give a frag about the humans, but since his most loyal was in some sort of faze, that involved these strange objects. It was bound to spark his curiosity.
"Interesting…"
"Why won't these things stay on?" How humans managed to put these things up on their homes, Megatron will never know. He struggled to staple the lights to the walls, so it released an eerie red glow, perfect for making the Nemesis seem a little more evil, yet allowing the Christmas spirit seep through.
Megatron felt a little respect for those fleshy parasites. It was beyond annoying for him to set up the decorations, without much help. Soundwave was still having his processor scanned, Knockout insisted even though they now discovered why he was acting strange. The other Decepticons were either digging for Energon or on patrol searching for the Autobot scum and their little, ugly pets.
After hours of stapling the green cords to the wall, Megatron was quite satisfied with himself. The lights were glowing brightly, and with the dark gray halls, it made the Nemesis seem more deadly.
"Soldier!" Megatron called over at local Vehicons, who had been passing through, "We need more Christmas Lights, where are they?"
The Vehicon gulped, "Um... we are out, Lord Megatron." The silver mech growled "What do you mean by that?"
"Well, w-we're out, my liege. You and the others used them all, and the strange cords that you use to connect them all are gone too."
"What! We have no extension cords!" The smaller mech gave a whimper with a hesitant nod, and was immediately met with hard punch from the ex-gladiator.
When the Vehicons hit the floor the lights began to flicker, this only ignited more anger, "Now why the frag are they blinking!"
No one besides the con, who only groaned, answered this. Megatron was losing his patience with this stupid Earth tech.
As if some invisible forced sensed this, a tiny red bulb hissed off, Megatron could feel his optic twitch, before he grounded his denta together. "One goes out they all do!" He took out his fusion cannon and blasted the pesky lights into nothing!
"Merry, Fraging, Christmas!"
Day Six:
Predaking growled tearing off the antlers Soundwave placed on his head, and then proceeded to rip the oak brown object to shreds. The faceless mech only sighed, this was getting him nowhere. Megatron, after learning about Christmas, demanded that everyone partake in it. He had ordered Soundwave to dress Predaking up as Rudolph. Something about tricking the Autobots into thinking he was Santa, Soundwave wasn't really paying attention, he was just to shocked, and excited that the Decepticons where partaking in the holidays.
"Now, now, why don't you be a good Predaking, and put this on." Normally Soundwave didn't speak in his real voice, but lately it has almost become a habit. Why did he stop speaking anyways? He honestly had forgotten.
Red optics narrowed dangerously at the mech, and then Predaking strike. Soundwave didn't have time to react, he was on the ground!
Starscream sighed, palming the door opened. This day was turning into a nightmare. First Soundwave got into the holidays, then Megatron! And now Soundwave hadn't returned from Predaking's kennel. Guess who had to go and check? Starscream was starting to hate this holiday.
Once the door hissed opened, the seeker froze in place, his optics widening to an abnormal size. Predaking sat sound asleep, curled into a scaly ball, but that wasn't what shocked him. What shocked him, was that Soundwave was hogged tied on the ground with a pair of antlers on his head and a red, glowing, noise attached to his face plate.
Starscream smirked as his fellow Decepticon begged for help.
Maybe this holiday wasn't so bad after all.
Day Seven:
Soundwave was listening to 'Rudolph the Red Noise Reindeer,' when Knockout came into the room, looking like he was going being chased by Unicron, "Soundwave, you have to help me!" The medic cried pulling Soundwave away from the monitor screen.
Soundwave didn't speak; instead he pulled up a digital question mark onto his faceplate.
Knockout was a scary mess, his armor was smuggy, and his optics looked as if they were going to pop out! "My in-laws are coming over!"
Soundwave tilted his helm to the side.
"Breakdown's creators! They're coming over for a visit and I hate them! Especially his carrier, she's such a witch. I hate her!" Knockout was pacing back and forth now, panting with exaggeration.
Soundwave didn't know what to do; instead he decided to go back to working on finding the next relic.
"Wait a nano-klick!" Knockout snapped his digits, an idea forming in his processor, "Soundwave, you can pose as me!"
Wait what!
Knockout's grin was almost blinding, "Yes, you can pose as me! We and my in-laws have never met in person; we only talk through a com linked system!" The medic visibly relaxed and gave Soundwave a pleading look.
The TIC shook his head. There was no way he was going to pose as Breakdown's mate. For one he didn't really know the mech personally, and two, Soundwave wasn't into grounders.
"Please, I'll do anything! I can't even stand my in-laws over com-linked! I won't survive meeting them in face to face! I beg you!" The red mech fell to his knees and latched on this Soundwave's left leg, crying.
"Please!" Knockout knew he looked pathetic, but he didn't care, "I-I'll stop running tests on you! Just please do it!" He was practically balling!
Soundwave had two choices.
In one servo: He could say no and move on with his life, but the down side would be he would have to go through more scans.
In the second servo: He could say yes, move on with his life, no scans, no tests, and he could actually catch up on his Anime. One Piece was coming out with a new season.
With that in mind, the second choice didn't sound too bad.
"Oh, and Knockout, be sure to boil the Energon to a minimum. Our sweetie Breakdown's tank can't handle hot Energon, it makes him purge."
Primus kill him already.
"Now, Sweet Spark, I'm sure Knockout knows what he's doing. " The dark blue mech chimed before adding, "I'm so happy Breakdown finally found his match. We weren't sure if he would find the right one."
The red femme nodded "Yes, we thought he would have gone for someone with a good sense of humor. But you will do just fine." The way she said it, made his Energon boil.
"Oh," Breakdown's sire chimed, "I almost forgot, we need to get a picture of you two! Something to show to our future grand-sparkling ,when they come to visit!" The mech proceeded to pull out a Cybertronian camera from his subspace. His red mate grinned a fake grin, ushering them close together for the photo.
"Now, Breakdown, why don't you give your mate some loving'" The blue mech laughed. Breakdown visibly flushed, "Um… Sire, maybe we shouldn't do-"
"Oh, nonsense, you two are mates, and you need to act like it. So go one kiss." Breakdown's carrier waved her servo in a go-on motion.
The two 'mates' looked at each other, and hesitantly leaned close. Soundwave now wished he declined Knockout's plea.
Day Eight:
Starscream hated the holidays. It was ridiculous! There were so many stupid traditions, all of which are useless. He couldn't wait to for this 'Christmas' to be over.
"Hey, Grinch," A local Vehicon called from across the room, waving his servo like an idiot. That was another thing Starscream hated about this holiday. Everyone was either calling him a Scrooge, or a Grinch, it was beyond stupid!
"I swear, if I hear the name 'Grinch, or Scrooge' one more time I'll-"
"Heya, Grinchy!" Knockout laughed, this was followed by everyone else in the room.
Something snapped. Starscream hated Christmas! He hated every bit of it, that's one thing him and the Grinch had in common. They hated the holidays. A sudden rush of ideas began to cloud his processor.
The Grinch hated Christmas so much, he stolen every present, Whoville had. Soundwave set up a TV, so everyone got to watch those stupid stale Christmas shows.
Well if the Grinch stole Christmas, then why shouldn't Starscream?
"Yes," the seeker hissed with satisfaction, "I'll do just that."
Sneaking around in the dark wasn't an easy thing to do,
Especially if the cons were dreaming,
But Starscream was eager to do some cleaning
Tip toeing here,
Tip toeing there.
The seeker grabbed everything in sight.
They were placed in a bag, that he made sure was tight.
Just as he was about to leave, the light flickered on with knowing gleam.
Soundwave stood over the fool, Starscream.
The poor mech didn't' stand a chance,
Soundwave took his advance.
This poem was more than just for laughs,
This is a poem that should give you a pass.
Bass Soundwave's Christmas and he'll kick you $$
AN: Love you guys hope you enjoyed the little poem. I'm not much of a poetic type, but I'm willing to give it a shot! :D