Agent P pulled at the ropes around his webbed feet and found that they were not only incredibly solid, but they were incredibly kinky as well.
"Now, now Agent P," Dr. Doofenshmirtz tutted. He emerged from a dark corner menacingly.
Agent P looked on with a scowl as Doofenshmirtz walked over to a ray-gun like machine and patted it fondly.
"Allow me to introduce my Sexinator."
Agent P rolled his eyes and braced himself for a long, stupid flashback that would delay Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plans long enough for him to find an escape.
"You see as a young and hormonal teenager I always found myself attracted to boys. 12 year old boys."
Agent P stopped looking for a way out in order to give Dr. Doof a piercing glare for his egregious social taboo.
Doofenshmirtz let out an evil laugh, "THEY ALL LOOKED AT ME LIKE THAT!" He yelled, "ESPECIALLY WHEN I TRIED TO MAKE THEIR LIVES BETTER BY GIVING THEM CANDY FIRST!"
Agent P was seriously starting to find this ridiculous, but he couldn't bring himself away from socially ostracizing Doofenshmirtz long enough to find an escape.
"So I've decided to make an inator that would cause EVERYONE TO BECOME SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOUNG BOYS! THAT WAY I WON'T BE THE ONLY WEIRD ONE!"
The social ostracizing intensified.
Doofenshmirtz once again began stroking the inator with his hands. "You see Agent P, I will shoot a beam into a satellite, and then the rays will bounce off and everyone in the Tri-State Area will become pedophiles!"
Agent P finally snapped out of his disapproval and began looking for a way out of the ropes again. However, it was too late. He had been distracted by persecuting Dr. Doofenshmirtz's deviance long enough for the Dr. to hit the button on the Sexinator.
The ray flew through the sky in a greenish light and bounced off of the nearest Fox News Satellite and back into the Tri-State Area.
Unfortunately Dr. Doofenshmirtz didn't realize that the ray gun would turn anyone that was already a pedophile into a normal person.
"OH COME ON!" He screamed as the Sexinator began to take it's effect.