David Clark Allen, Shego Rocks!

Act I

ONE

Night had fallen upon a private Caribbean island, where upon a mountaintop, a spy lurked the corridors of a secret hideaway. The spy, Kim Possible, was an attractive girl of seventeen; she sported a bright round face with large green eyes, and full-bodied and neatly shaped auburn hair. She slunk around the dark corners of the lair with the skill of a ninja. She dressed the part, too: she wore a black bare-midriff turtleneck, khaki cargo pants, and black stealth shoes.

Her best friend and mission assistant, Ron Stoppable, huddled next to her and then paused. He was an awkward, lanky boy of Kim's age, with brown eyes and semi-combed blond hair, and his mission outfit, though similar to Kim's, seemed rather baggy-looking on him by comparison. "Wait, Kim," he whispered, his voice quivering, "I think I hear someone coming." He began to panic. "It sounds like a monkey, K.P.! It sounds like a monkey!"

Kim rolled her eyes. "I sincerely doubt it's a monkey. Besides, I thought you were over your monkey issues."

"Well, how sane would you be, after sharing a cabin all summer with a wild chimpanzee?"

"That was years ago."

"Yeah, and he's probably gotten a lot bigger and craftier since then!" Ron shivered. His companion and pet naked mole rat, Rufus, whom he usually kept in his pants pocket, shuddered also.

Reaching into her backpack, Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator, a personal two-way television fashioned out of a handheld game case. She addressed the twelve-year-old super genius, Wade Load, who had built the device. "Hey, Wade."

"Kim, you're in the lair now? You're on the right track." Wade, the roly-poly black kid turned to the monitor in his fully-equipped computer lab, which also happened to be his bedroom. "My readings show you're getting very close to the stolen molecular bioelectrical converter."

She frowned. "We'd better hurry. That would be dangerous in the wrong hands." Kim reached behind her and pulled out an item from among an assortment of exotic equipment in her backpack.

Ron grinned. "Oh, cool! New weapon?"

"No. Just a hairbrush." Kim proceeded to preen her hair.

"You're fixing your hair, now?"

"Got to look my best while beating the wacko bad guys, you know."

"Got that brush at the Club Banana sale, I see."

"Okay, done." Putting her brush away, Kim looked intently down the cavern hallway. "Okay, when I give the signal--" She stopped suddenly, and turned back to Ron. "Wait, there's a sale at Club Banana?"

"Yep, the winter clothing's in stock now. The very latest fashions." He muttered to himself, "Three times what you'd pay for the same stuff at Smarty Mart."

Kim looked back out. "Okay, Ron, when I give the signal, we break for that stack of crates over there. We have to be quiet, though. All right, one . . . two . . . three."

"Uh, what's the signal, K.P.?"

Kim didn't answer, for she had already sprinted halfway across the chamber. Ron followed in hot pursuit. When he reached the stack of crates, he stumbled, and he grabbed onto Kim for support. They fell to the floor and rolled, face-to-face, clinging to one another. When they came to a stop, they found they were side-by-side, embracing.

Kim didn't flinch at their proximity, but she gave Ron a funny look. "Ron," she whispered, "you are such a goofball." She gave Ron a friendly punch, and then sat up slowly. "Now, shush. Let's see who's over there."

As they stood up and peered over the crates, their eyes widened. "Oh! It's Shego." Kim had many powerful and sinister archenemies, but one stood out among the others. That was Shego.

Once a teen hero like Kim, Shego had turned evil and enlisted as assistant to the mad scientist, Doctor Drakken. She was a strikingly beautiful woman, slightly older than Kim. Svelte and athletic, she dressed in a tight-fitting green-and-black jumpsuit, which matched her dark green eyes and her knee-length black hair, and her features included a classic Gothic look of pale skin and black lips. Like Kim, Shego possessed an unquenchable thirst for chic Club Banana style, even though her business with Drakken prevented her from wearing her favorite styles. A brilliant evil mastermind in her own right, Shego matched Kim's martial arts skills; this, combined with her sharp clawed gloves, rendered Shego a particularly dangerous combatant.

Kim whispered to Ron, "Someone else is coming." They stared as Doctor Drakken followed Shego into the chamber.

Doctor Ubel Drakken was a tall and robust middle-aged man. He wore a suit of blue laboratory attire, including a deep blue overcoat and black laboratory gloves. The man had receding black hair that was pulled back into a short ponytail. He had huge jowls, and a scar appeared from under his left eye and stretched halfway across his pale, blue face.

Drakken fumed as he carried a strange electronic device in his hands. "Well, we finally got the molecular bioelectrical converter, Shego. Took us forever to find it so we could steal it."

Shego shrugged. "Hey, not my fault. If you had stopped for directions like I had asked, we would have been there a lot sooner."

Drakken rolled his eyes, mimicking Shego.

Shego frowned. "Look, can we get it started before you-know-who comes around?"

Drakken grinned evilly. "Ooh . . . yes, yes, yes. I can't wait!" He hugged the device and hummed.

Kim leapt over the stack of crates, somersaulting twice in the air, and landing directly behind Drakken and Shego. She eyed them sternly. "You know, it is such a shame you won't have a chance to use it, Drakken."

Drakken whipped around. "Kim Possible! What are you doing here?"

Shego sighed, and glowered at him. "Surprise, surprise."

Drakken snickered and ran to a control panel upon the chamber wall. "Surprise, surprise, indeed!" He yanked a long, black lever, and the floor gave way under Kim, Ron, and Rufus. The teen heroes fell into a deep pit--a large tank filled with seawater and hungry sharks. A railing barrier shunted up along the perimeter of the chasm. As she fell, Kim grabbed the nearest thing: a thick utility rope that dangled from the lair's ceiling. She held fast to the rope and, with her free hand, she grabbed Ron by his collar. His fall broke just a foot above the water's surface, but all of the contents of Kim's backpack fell into the water.

Ron shrieked. "Aiya! Sharks!" Looking about him, he saw his pet was missing. "Rufus! Rufus! Where are you?" He looked down, and discovered Rufus clinging to his shoelaces. The mole rat climbed up Ron's leg, and took refuge in his pocket.

Kim pulled Ron up to her level, and he hugged the rope. She sighed. "Now, this has me worried."

Ron looked at Kim. "You? Worried? Not that you don't have a good reason."

"I know. If we have to stay here much longer, I won't have any time to finish my civics paper. It's due tomorrow."

"Uh, K.P., focus! Those aren't exactly goldfish down there!"

Kim saw that all of her equipment, including her Kimmunicator, was missing. She sighed. "Well, it looks like I don't have anything to tame the goldfish."

"Don't you have a lipstick elastic thingy in your pocket? Anything?" Ron was beginning to panic.

Kim looked sheepish. "Actually, I'm fresh out of gadgets. We're just going to have to make a swim for it."

Leaning over the railing, Drakken looked down at them and gloated. "Well, well, well. Kim Possible and the buffoon, finally at my mercy. Shall I tell them my plan, Shego?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "If I said no, would that stop you?"

Drakken held the stolen gadget proudly. "Ah, but this will bring me my moment of triumph, by wreaking havoc on the entire planet."

Ron looked up. "What does that thing do, anyway?"

"It does . . . it does . . . oh, never mind! It makes lots of bioelectrical thingies. That's not important. What is important, is that the whole earth will be overrun with them. And everyone will bow down to my command!" Drakken laughed menacingly. "But first, I have to dispose of you. Shego, they're all yours."

Shego leaned over the railing to gloat at them, and she spoke in mocking tones. "Ooh, I like that little slogan of yours, Kimmie. 'Kim Possible: she can do anything.' Yeah, including looking like a fashion don't when becoming fish food with her friend."

Ron screamed. "Ahh! Can't the fishies just skip lunch today?"

Upon hearing Ron's exclamation, Shego just flashed a haughty grin at them. "Now, I wouldn't want the poor sharks to go hungry, would I?"

Kim frowned. "How compassionate. Typical of you, Shego."

"Hey--what can I say, Kimmie? I was born to be evil. Are you so naïve as to think I'd ever be different?"

Kim continued to scowl. "Well, you were different, once. The world would be a lot better off if you went back, that's for sure."

Drakken gritted his teeth. "Enough chitchat. Now finish them, Shego!"

"My pleasure."

Shego grinned with satisfaction and slashed at the rope with her clawed gloves. Strand by strand, the rope began to fray. Drakken rubbed his hands, gloating at his triumph. Four strands remained. Then three. Then two.

Shego paused briefly to get a last look at her old enemies. Ron was yelling and kicking his feet wildly, and Rufus stood atop Ron's head, chattering in alarm.

Kim merely gazed at Shego with calm defiance. "You were just like me once, Shego. Just think about it."

Shego dropped her smile and paused momentarily. Then, she turned and determinedly slashed at the last thread, but she missed the rope completely and lost her balance. She grabbed onto a large black lever that stuck out of the floor and held fast to it as she stumbled to the ground. Shego then heard a strange noise. "Uh, what was that?"

In a flash, the entire chasm drained, sharks and all, with a sound like a giant toilet flushing. Within seconds, all that remained of the pool was a damp stone floor. The last thread of the rope snapped, and Kim, Ron, and Rufus fell harmlessly into the empty pit. They, as well as Drakken and Shego, stared, amazed at what had just happened.

Drakken growled at his assistant. "Shego!"

She frowned back at him and threw up her hands. "Look, it was an accident, okay?"

"Well, don't just stand there. After them!"

"All right, all right," Shego muttered to herself, "Sheesh, some people are so crabby today." She then lifted her hands briefly, and they ignited like a pair of green blazing torches--Shego's trademark characteristic--with mysterious plasma energy. She bounded down into the pit and hurled green fireballs at Kim.

Kim avoided the fireballs by bounding off the wall with a back handspring--one of several moves she learned from cheerleading experience. "Come on, Ron!"

She grabbed the severed utility rope, knotted it into a lasso, and swung the free end over the railing of the pit. Swinging upon the rope, Kim knocked Shego over with a swift kick, then scooped up Ron and Rufus. Their momentum carried them up and out of the pit, and in a single motion, Kim snatched the molecular bioelectrical converter out of Drakken's hands and ran to the side of the chamber. A helicopter dropped a rope ladder through the large hole in the ceiling, and Kim, Ron, and Rufus grabbed onto it. Before Drakken or Shego could even react, the helicopter lifted the three heroes out of the building.

Shego knelt in the pit, looking up grimly to the redheaded heroine as she faded from sight. Kim Possible had beaten her again.

Drakken cried in anguish. "No, no, no, no, no! They got away! They got away!" He fell over, bawling, and pounded his fists into the ground. "And with the molecular bioelectrical converter, too! I was supposed to have fun! I was supposed to have fun!"

Shego climbed out of the pit, approaching him gingerly. "Uh, Doctor D, would you feel better if I got you an ice cream cone?"

He stopped crying and looked up to her expectantly. "Chocolate mint?"

"So, run that by me one more time: this new grand scheme to take over the world?" Shego sat in the shadows, mindlessly filing the tips of her clawed gloves, and she paused to inspect her handiwork. Her voice faintly resonated throughout the evil hideaway, a space so cavernous it dwarfed the two within it. She sighed deeply, for she was growing tired of Kim Possible defeating them, over and over.

Finishing the last of his chocolate mint ice cream cone, Drakken paced some ten meters away. He wiped his mouth, turned towards her, and rubbed his hands. "Oh, Shego, it's just glorious. We go get a death-ray . . ."

Shego just rolled her eyes, for she had heard this idea countless times. "Lame!"

He stopped cold, and blinked. "Uh, Shego? I was saying, we go get a death-ray . . ."

"Lame!"

"What?"

She scowled. "Death-ray? Come on. Like we haven't tried that a hundred times already."

Drakken threw up his hands, and vented. "Fine! Whatever. So, we go get a shrinking machine . . ."

"Lame!"

"We go get . . ."

"Lame!"

"We go . . ."

"Lame!"

"We--"

"Lame!"

"Now Shego, cupcake, you've got to hear me out on this one . . ."

"I'm not listening to this!"

"But it--"

"I'm not listening!"

"But--"

Shego plugged her ears with her fingers, and began singing in monotone. "La, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la."

When he saw Shego stopping her ears, Dr. Drakken snickered. "Yes, you worship the very earth I walk on, don't you, Shego?"

Sensing Doctor Drakken's comment, she shot him an ugly scowl.

"Shego, all of my plans have been brilliant. But it turned out somebody always got in the way . . ."

The two spoke in unison: "Kim Possible."

"If it weren't for Kim Possible, I'd be King of the World right now." Drakken paced again. "But I can't think of any way to overcome her. We've tried everything, haven't we?"

Shego looked up to him and frowned. "We?" She resumed filing the fingertips of her gloves.

"For two straight years, she has denied me my rightful place as Master of the Universe. We've tried to melt her, crush her, and drown her. We've tried to make her disappear. My Bebe robots couldn't destroy her. And then there's you, Shego. She just dodges your fireballs like you're pitching in slow motion!" He stared at her blankly. "Are you even listening to any of this?"

Shego stared at her gloves. "Oh please, don't stop. Your ranting is the most fascinating thing I could ever listen to." She then returned to filing her claws.

Drakken's expression brightened. "Ah! We could do something to the buffoon."

"Nice try. But in order to get to Stoppable or Kimmie's family, you'd have to get by Kimmie."

"How about if I get a time machine, go back to her past--say, her first day in pre-K--and crush her spirit?"

"Oh, right. You couldn't crush the spirit of an amoeba. Bet if you tried to outfight or outwit Kimmie--even as a preschooler--you'd just get your butt kicked." Shego thought for a moment. "Hmm . . . crush her spirit. I'd love to see that. But you could never make it happen."

Thrusting his hands behind his back, Drakken walked in circles. "I can't believe I'm out of ideas. I'm the world's greatest evil genius, and I can't think of anything else to do. Brains can't beat her intelligence. Brawn can't beat her strength." He threw up his hands. "What else is left?"

"Hmm. You? Brawn, maybe. As for brains, well, that's another story."

"All right, smarty-pants, do you think you could come up with a better plan?"

"I might, at that." Shego stood up. "Two years of failure is not exactly a stellar track record. Everything we've done so far has been, well, maybe a tad predictable. And Kimmie and her idiot sidekick have been able to sniff out everything we've come up with. We've got to do something completely new, something that Kimmie would never expect. Something that doesn't involve weapons, martial arts, poison, or newfangled gadgets . . . we've run the gamut with all that." She sighed. "We're at a fork in the road, doc. If we can't go after her with anything new, then maybe it's time to throw up our hands and give up. Even you and I were a couple of straight shooters once, a long time ago. I wonder what it would be like to go back to that?"

To Dr. Drakken, her last suggestion was unthinkable, and he stood there, stunned. "Y-you mean, no more life of crime?" He looked as though he were about to cry. "You mean, I actually have to become an honest man? Shego! What's gotten into you?"

"You think I like the idea of going back? Back to my stupid old life, and my stupid old place, with my stupid old brothers?" She sighed. "I don't know. But I'm at the point now where I'm ready to say, 'Can we finally just dispose of the girl? Like, how hard can that be?'" She shrugged. "Maybe there is no answer. But I do know this: either we find something completely new to do against the girl . . ." Shego looked out the small window of the lair. "Or we might as well just give up, and live new lives--as a couple of dopey normal people."