Chapter 2: Lexa and Clarke- A Moment under the stars.
Trigedasleng is in Italics.
Lexa
I awoke suddenly to the violent sounds of Clarke's screaming, a raspy pain filled sound like shattering glass as heaving sobs cause her body to shake. The noise reverberated within my skull as her body contracted shrinking in on itself. The tighter she tucked in the more like a deeply wounded animal the sound became until it became a low mourn filled hum. I felt surface cracks begin to form upon my heart as I listen to her pain and sadness. Emotions so deep and abysmal and worse I knew I shouldered the blame.
I gathered her in my arms, holding her close as I waved away Thresh and Ryder, who had come to check on us. They nodded understanding in their eyes as they turn to leave. I whispered soft words with no meanings, sounds to please and comfort as Clarke clung to me pulling me in as close as she could. Her head nestled below my chin, whimpering, begging me quietly not to leave.
When she had calmed fully I drew her up with me to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Here," I murmur, grabbing her clothes. She looks at me, blue eyes lost and pained, my heart clenches in response, so I help her to dress.
I make sure to touch her skin continuously, adjusting here caressing there, as I wrap her chest in a binding. I sigh inwardly, relieved, as I begin to feel her focus. I then move on to her shirt, showing it to her as I raise my hands and pause, waiting for her to lift her arms. Eventually she does, and I work to bring it down over her body, grazing the skin of her arms and torso, softly with my knuckles. When her head has finally appeared through the top, I am there, kissing and nuzzling her face and nose. She sighs leaning into me, and I feel her body relax a bit more. I bend down grabbing her pants arranging them below her. Kissing both her knees gently, while lightly grasping first her left and then her right ankles situating them in her pant legs. I rubbed my hands up and down her lower limbs, warming them, before helping her to stand, having her use my shoulders for balance, kissing each of her thighs as I pulled the pants up and and kissing her pelvic bone lightly, before settling the trousers on her waist. Pausing a moment to kiss her navel while sweeping upward again before her. I smile seeing life creep into her eyes.
I settle her down again upon the bed, a kiss to her forehead and dress myself quickly before grabbing her hand and a small fur throw leading her out into the night.
I feel Clarke grip my arm as I pause ordering my guards to stay behind and ignoring their sideway glances at each other.
"I promise we will not go far," I say to reassure them. "Just to that knoll, we will stay in view."
"Mocof, Heda," they say as one.
"Come hodnes, I have a story to tell you."
Clarke
We make our way quietly to the top of the knoll, staying within the eye line of Thresh and Ryder's watchful gazes. I follow her taking in the lines of her body the way she moves against the moonlight, so tall and sure. There has always been something otherworldly about Lexa. Something that both excited me and scared me when I first meet her.
She pulls me in close kissing my lips soft and tender, once we've reach the top. I am becoming more of myself again and help her lay down the fur throw.
We position ourselves shoulder to shoulder gazing up at the twinkling stars of the night sky above us, our fingers intertwined. She tells me softly about the stars and other wonders she had learned. I get lost in her voice, the timbre and tone. The ups and downs of her vocals, beguiling me. I notice instantly the moment she has grown quiet and thoughtful. It's like the damning of a meandering river.
I regard her silently, taking in the quiet moment of right now, engrossed in the easy way we have learned to enjoy each others time. I think about the storm my thoughts had become, fueling my desperation for Lexa earlier in the night. Our hurried, frenzied coupling a balm for the emotions that coursed through me, calming them, but not soothing them completely.
"Lexa?" I ask quietly, she turns to look at me her green eye dark and uncertain. I ask her with my eyes to let me in.
She smiles at me, my smile, the smile that is filled with love, sadness, happiness, pain and a swirl of other varied emotions. The true Lexa, the girl under the war paint that very few are allowed the privilege to see. This is my Lexa, the one who looks into my blue eyes with her heart on her sleeve bare and open..
"Do you know the Myth of the Commander Spirit?" She asks her voice low, her eyes guarded.
"Yes, Titus told it to us."
Lexa nods her head, slowly turing her gaze back to the stars and growing quiet for a time. I sense she is thinking and so I wait, patiently staring up at the the star filled sky as well.
Again I find myself enslave by her voice, I listen entranced, to it's soft and trembling changing pitch, as she shares with me the memories of the Fos Heda, Becca Lawton and her son Alin, the Fos Fleimkepa. Both of whom are distant relatives for her. She tells me the missing facts that surround the myth. The reasons for Becca's landing and how she was the one who had created ALIE 1 and ALIE 2, what the Grounders call the Commander's Spirit. She told me about the uniqueness of her blood and I had explained that we figured out most of it when we had analyzed it before dosing both Raven and Titus. Lexa smiles again, and tells me how impressed Becca was of Raven and myself. I feel my cheeks heat at the awe and love I see so fully in her gaze.
I simply nod not wanting to break the spell.
She continues telling me of the great deception they started, forbidding the use and knowledge of technology, making it into something that would cause the ire of the Commander's Spirit. To strengthen this stance Becca would acted crazed and enraged when technology was found. Claiming it and the lives of the one who found it. To touch working tech, had become something everyone avoided. If it was found, only the Heda and Fleimkepa or their older novitiates who would be allowed to lay a hand on it. What was initially thought to have been started by the Mountain Men had actually started with them. Becca had feared the that release of ALIE 1 before ALIE 2 had a chance to grow beyond the other. So when she passed Becca had closed off her memories and access to the City of Light. Any knowledge the succeeding Heda's had about technology were also removed, hidden away with Becca. Years later when the mountain men had finally begun to take the grounders the fear of technology had become a deeply rooted fear, that no one knew how it really began.
The main purpose for ALIE 2/Heda was to destroy AIE 1 once she was unleashed . Becca had been surprised to find that there were survivors, so ALIE 2 secondary purpose had been to become a leader to help the survivors survive. At the time Becca only knew of the ones tucked safely in the mountain.
Becca had been surprised when Jaha was the one to set ALIE 1 free.
"Now that ALIE 1 has been defeated and only a small portion of the City of Light remains," I looked at Lexa frowning, wondering quietly what it must look like now. "It is much smaller," Lexa said answering my unasked question. "It looks more like a smaller version of Polis as it it now, but with out the tower. Instead it has a large pillar like structure with a constant fire burning at the top, yes much like a candle," Lexa says playfully at my teasing smile. "Each Heda lives in a home. They interact and everything. It is quite interesting the conversations I can enjoy with them during my mediations."
"Interesting…" I mutter thinking how nice it would be to be able to speak with my father as though he were apart of me, able to give me advice or just to visit.
"Klark," Lexa begins and I feel my heart skip a beat at the way my name rolls from her tongue and the vulnerability in her tone. "I know I have the wisdom of my predecessors, but I also want your help. For so long Heda have been a singular leader. Listening to the lectures and platitudes that. 'Love is weakness. To be Heda is to be alone.', and such. The ideals that have kept us isolated, to look stronger so our people could have faith in us. To be Natblida is to sacrifice every part of ourselves. Our very life can end at the hands of those we are raised with and had bonded with during our time as novitiates at the Conclave. I don't want Aden or Joss or Kaile or any other natblida to have to endure that pain. I want you by my side and together, help me change the ways of my people. Our people. I want my life with you to be more than just surviving. You thoughts and opinions mean much to me."
My heart swelled as she looks at me, fire blazing in her eyes. Love, desire, protection and determination wrapped up so tight I am made breathless.
"We will be bonded, Klark," Lexa spoke lightly. "Together we will command the 12 Clans and Skaikru. Together we will decide what is the best course for our people."
She was always like this, including me in everything always in small ways or big ways. This was different, this was more permanent more solid. I rose up on my side steading myself on my elbow. Looking down as the moon shown bright in her green eyes. Enjoying the moment of bliss I felt course through me. Before her words dawned on me.
"Skaikru…" I said my brow furrowing looking at her realizing the sadness of her features as she looked at me waiting.
"Yes," Lexa said softly siting up. "I don't think having Arkadia formally as the 13th Clan is a good idea now."
"What?" I asked anger beginning to sing in my veins. "We already have the brand, so why the fuck not?"
Lexa looks at me unflinching, unafraid of my anger and spit. "For now," Her tone soft. "It isn't wise. Until we can know for sure the out come of these new ways. The 12 Clans are still hesitant about the Skaikru, even more so now that your people's former Chancellor tried to kill me."
"My people Lexa, my people," I said furious that she would dare divide us. "I thought they were ours!"
"They are, because they are yours," Lexa said staring my fury down with her soft pleading gaze. "They will always be yours, just as Azgeda will always be Roan's. Why do you want to fight me?" Lexa ask looking at me her eye's searching in wonder.
If I was standing I would have taken a step back, instead my body flinched away surprised at the truth in her words. She was right, I found myself needing to fight her, irrational as it was. It had always be my go to, the way I handled things. While Lexa was calm, I was impulsive. I stop myself, taking in deep cleansing breathes as I worked against my usual nature.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. Feeling truly remorseful. "I still have a great deal of anxiety over your death and the strength of my emotions are harder to deal with."
"I understand, hodnes," she said kissing my forehead. "Our bonding will cement our alliance. It is the best I can do to ensure Skaikru's safety for now. These events have shown me how precious time is. While I don't want to waste another second without you in my arms, I know that my actions prior were not wise. Skaikru, must earn their place amongst the Clans. Together as one," Lexa said motioning between the two of us. "We have a chance. I want to live my life with you. I want to watch us grow and I want to see life etch itself into your skin. Right now it is my best offer. "
I looked up at the sky, barely noticing the stars shining above us, looking past to the a place beyond that had once been my home, a place I lived. It was dark and hard and unforgiving. It was small and limited to the size of a large hulking metal beast that kept us safe from the vacuum of space, but it wasn't home. It was a place to survive until the generation that could come down and make earth their home was born. It was a twist of fate a hope to live that had brought first the 100 down and then the rest of the Ark. If all had gone as planned, my father would have been alive, I would have lived the rest of my life in space, probably marrying Wells, either one of us becoming the next chancellor, deciding fate with the harsh yardstick required by life on the Ark. Instead the Arks oxygen system began to fail and we plummeted to the ground.
The consequence of this, I was granted the chance to meet a woman who would give me her life and her world. Who loved me with every inch of her body, heart and soul. Her love for me, consuming her so greatly that every time I looked into the hard stoic face of the Commander, Lexa Kom Trikru shone through. Her true self the most precious gift she could offer anyone, she happily and completely offered to me, a girl who fell from the sky. How could I not offer the same in return.
"Ok," I said my tone and my gaze telling her I was satisfied. Lexa smile brightly.
"Together Klark, we will change the lives of our people."