Recovering Lost Memories

Chapter 2 - Floods of Feelings

Peter blinked once, than twice as an overwhelming rush of emotion washed over him. He tried taking a deep breath to stabilize himself. Unfortunately this did little for his though pattern because with that deep inhale, Peter smelled him. Underneath the gin there was something familiar, a mix of Dove soap and a musky smell that he was sure only this person could give off. The combination set Peter's blood aflame and he felt a distinct stirring in his groin. This immediate attraction was nothing like what he had felt with Catlin and he realized maybe it was because she was a girl. Or maybe because it wasn't this man, this man he held like he was a lifeline yet at the same time like he was a porcelain doll.

"God damn it Pete, god damn it," He murmured over and over again into Peter's shoulder. He pulled his head off of his shoulder and gazed lovingly into Peter's eyes. For the first time Peter got a good look at the stranger and realized that this man was not, in fact, a stranger at all. Though bearded and looking rather worst-for-wear, this was the man that haunted Peter's, whether asleep or awake. His realization was confirmed a second later when Nathan spoke again.

"I missed you so much, Peter. I love you. I love you so, so much. I need you, so you can't do that again. Don't leave ever again, you aren't allowed to." His deep, gravelly voice coupled with his words sent shivers down the younger man's spine. A second later when reached over and put one of his strong hands on the side of Peter's neck and started stroking his cheek with a callused thumb it was all Peter could do to not melt right there, under that tender gaze.

"I won't, I promise," Peter said, his voice pitched lower than he meant to. Suddenly he was extremely aware of the proximity of their bodies; they were held flush against each other by Nathan's arm around his waist. Peter's arms, which had seemed to have developed a mind of their own, were wound around the back of Nathan's neck, effectively keeping him from pulling his head away more than a few inches short of a foot. Something about this incredibly intimate position felt so natural and familiar to Peter, just so right.

"Don't talk for a minute; just let me look at you." Nathan's deep eyes raked over every minute detail of Peter's face and neck. While Nathan was busy scanning Peter's face, Peter was doing the same and piece together their history and relationship. Trying to anyway, Nathan's intense gaze was distracting.

From their interaction so far, Peter could tell that they were much too close to just be friends. They could be friends with benefits, but Nathan said he loved Peter and besides Peter didn't feel like the type of person who would be in a relationship like that. No brothers stood as close as they were, what with their whole bodies pressed against each other, or look that deeply into the other's eyes. That left lovers.

Inside Nathan's intense scrutiny of the younger man's face, Peter could see a longing there. It was as if Nathan wanted nothing more than to use the hand that was stroking Peter's check and pull them together, kissing him fiercely. Something was stopping him though, something Peter couldn't, for the life of him, figure out. He should have felt frightened, to want this man, whom he had very few memories of, so much it made his bone hurt. He didn't though. He had a connection with Nathan so strong that a few repressed memories weren't going to make it go away. Impatient, Peter did what Nathan seemed unwilling to, even though it was what they both wanted, no need desperately.

The kiss was tentative at first, closed mouthed, nothing more than two lips pressed together. Though the action its self was a simple, almost innocent one, it held so much promise, so much emotion. Nathan, who had frozen as soon as Peter's lips touched his, seemed to melt against his touch and took over the kiss. He slid his tongue into Peter's hot cavern and flicked it against the roof, effectively making Peter shudder in delight. Nathan used his arm to pull their chests together and the other arm tightened around Peter's waist, pushing their groins dangerously close. Peter's own hands waved through Nathan's scraggly locks. He did it without even thinking about what he was doing, it just felt so right. He moaned into Nathan's open mouth as he did something exquisite with his tongue, practically melting Peter on the spot.

"Please…" he whimpered against Nathan, not even knowing, or caring really, what exactly he was asking for. All Peter knew was that he needed Nathan.

Unfortunately, Peter's pleas had the opposite of their intended effect and Nathan froze once again, just for a second this time. The next second he had ripped himself from Peter and was across the room, leaning against the sofa's arm for support. Peter, left feeling cold and very alone moved after him, desperate to know what he did wrong and what he could do to fix it. Before he reached Nathan, however, he had started muttering to himself.

"Damn it Pete," he said, his voice lower and huskier from their kiss, "I told you, you can't do this anymore. I thought you understood. I love you, but I can't be with you the way you want us to be together. You remember what happened when Dad found out about your feelings for me. If Ma found out, it would kill her. I mean we're brothers for god's sake, I can't just start kissing me out of nowhere."

Peter's muscles completely shut down on the spot, still over a yard from Nathan. Brothers. Brothers. Nathan was his brother. He and Nathan were well and truly brothers. Nathan, his brother, was lecturing him because Peter had kissed him. Kissed him good. Wanted to kiss him again and never ever stop. His brother how had kissed him back. Kissed him so perfectly back so that he got hard from just that one kiss. That wasn't the worst of it though. Not by far. There was something much much worst tan all that. Something Peter had realized during that perfect, intense kiss.

Peter was in love with his brother and it wasn't going to go away any time soon.

Author's Note:

It's done! I wrote most of this while I was sick (I was sick over a week T.T ) so I'm not sure if I even really like it. I couldn't remember what they call their dad also so if any one knows please tell me. Also, I don't think the Haitian's (Rene, you don't find out his name until the fourth season) powers would allow Peter to remember things on his own, but I'm planning on ignoring that little detail. Tell me how you like it!