Note To Readers
Since Lil-Samuu decided to write in first POV for the Colette chapter, I figured I'ddo the same thing with the Sheena chapter as well. Most people who read my fics (not one-shots) would have noticed that I usually write first POV so this would be a good opportunity to write more in Sheena's prospective.
It's funny that the two of us started writing together the same way two awesome FFVIII writers started writing their combined fic as well (Love ya Ashbear!). One wrote a review to the other, then the other sent an e-mail talking about that review, and now, we started writing a fic together.
Many thanks for all those reviewers who have inspired me to keep on writing Sheelos and continue the fight to win over the Sheeloyd fics. Lastly, many thanks to Lil-Samuu for the plot of this fic and letting me help write it. I couldn't do this without all of you.
Of all the earthly music, that which reaches farthest into heaven is the beating of a truly loving heart.
-Henry Ward Beecher
Sheena
By Potter29vo
The warmth of the fire in front of me was bringing life back to my freezing skin and the scent of the meal cooked by Genis was bringing the life back to my stuffy nose as well. The atmosphere surrounding everyone around me was tense from the cuddling couple to the moody Casanova in the corner.
I felt awful, simply awful. There were no other words to describe this feeling.
Not only was I alone in the other corner, away from everyone else and Zelos, I was keeping all the emotions and thoughts running through my mind to myself. What would they say if they knew what I was thinking? What would everyone think if they knew that I was not as tough as I appeared to be on the outside?
I did not dare disturb Colette and Lloyd for my own whiny needs or Zelos for the sake of getting harassed by his words. Everyone else wouldn't have cared as much either. So, I just simply sat here in this corner all by myself and kept everything to myself. I was growing up now, and I should stop complaining like a spoiled brat.
Ever since I saw Kuchinawa walk away from my life and the village, I knew that my life back home in Mizuho would never be the same again. He was like a brother to me, a best friend I could always depend on, and yet, at the same time, he always had a grudge against me. A grudge that would not fade in a day or two.
The image of seeing my Grandfather wake up after years of being in a coma brought happiness that I thought I could never feel again. The indescribable feeling of importance to another human being, of being needed in this world for a cause, and I had found it many times in my life from being a summoner to being a successor.
At times like this, however, just a short time away before the unavoidable end to Mithos's plans, I missed the hard days of training through rain or shine with the men of Mizuho to become a better ninja group for the future. I missed the abundant days of just sitting on the bridge above the river that ran by our entire village. I missed the lonely days in the gardens with almost every kind of vegetables there were around me.
This was when I gasped, realizing that I was actually homesick. All the moments spent on this journey; I really missed the feeling of just being an ordinary ninja, working and training like everyone else. I don't want to be different. I don't want to be treated differently, especially when people figure out I am actually a Summoner. Back at home, I was treated this way to the end and when I joined Lloyd's group, the leftover feelings were still there.
The feeling of sleeping on the same bed everyday never had so much significance before. I could still remember the days when I would just complain and complain how hard Mizuhoan beds were. Now, I absolutely missed that feeling. On a journey like this one, when the bed you sleep on today would not be the same one you will sleep on tomorrow or yesterday. Yes, the beds in the hotels we've been in were much softer and morecomfortable than the ones at home, but how could that replace the feeling of being at home all safe and protected?
Here, we fight everyday and not a single day goes by when I don't fear for my life or someone else's life. I was a coward all this time.
"Oneechan?" I heard a faint whisper from outside all of these gloomy thoughts I held within me.
Mizuho… how much I longed to be there at this moment. How much I wanted to be part of that group again and live the rest of my life in secrecy, not caring for anyone else but the people around me.
"Oneechan?" This time, I heard the word loud and clear. My eyes wandered to the source of the noiseand found Colette, my wonderful younger sister, in front of me with concern on her usually bright face.
I was tired, really tired. I did not even have the strength to answer her sweet little face, the younger sister who I had unofficially adopted. Her darting blue eyes searched for any answer whatsoever, but I gave none. I felt hopeless and what was even more pathetic was I finally got the comfort I needed, but paid no attention to it. I felt even more alone.
Unexpectedly, I found myself in a simple gesture from Colette. A mere hug was all that I needed to make me feel easier within myself. The concern she felt for me was overwhelming. In this small hug, for a moment, I felt needed by someone else in this world and not just for summoning spirits or leading a group of people, but for being myself. For just being Sheena. That was all that counted to the people around me.
How could I have forgotten? How could I have lost the meaning of family? It was true that I have a precious family back in Mizuho, waiting for me to come back and help, but I also have a wonderful family right here, right before my eyes. They were always there. Always. The warmth of being in a family tore away all the sorrow I had felt before.
Gently, I started stroking her lovely golden hair. The strands were were silky and soft, unlike mine. I knew how much my younger sister enjoyed these small embraces between us. I couldn't imagine what I would do without her. She was always so naïve and maybe this was why I loved her so much. Because of this younger child, I finally understood the significance of me being here in the group.
All of us were a family. Every one of us. Regal was like a father figure to all of us, while, most of the time, Raine was the mother figure. Genis and Presea were the young ones, always needed some form of attention and at the same time, always helped out in every way they could. Then, there was my dear younger sister Colette, who always believed in me and looked up to me for advice. She was also young, yet so free. What was left was the other two: Lloyd and Zelos.
With a short glance over at Lloyd, I knew how much I admired him from depths of my heart. I had always admired him from the days I tried to assassinate Colette up until now. Another feeling I had for him was respect. It is true he is slightly younger than I, and can be a bit immature at times, but he is always there for me. He is always there for everyone. Personally, I would call him a leader. He gained my respect with his actions, not just words.
From the day that Volt killed playful Corrine I thought I was lost, lost forever in my own weak mind and heart, never to regain completely from the losses I had caused and had suffered. When I saw Volt, nothing mattered anymore. I knew I was going to lose. Losing was my specialty for various reasons. But as Corrine fell down motionless before my eyesI felt anger, sadness, and the determination to live and obtain the power of this murderer!
At that exact moment, when I finally realized I could not be weak anymore, Lloyd was there. No one was there for me besides Corrine before but Lloyd stood there in front of me, protecting me from the attacks and telling me to stand up and fight. I would never forget this. I would never forget the words had he spoken or the actions he displayed. Lastly, I would never forget the respect and admiration I had for him from then on.
However, that was all there was to it- respect and admiration.
I respected my Grandpa. I loved my Grandpa. I respected Orochi and Kuchinawa. I loved them both. I respected Lloyd Irving. So I thought, I loved him.
Now I know better that there are different types of love in the worlds I took the wrong path. I loved my Grandpa, the one who cared for me all my life and taught me everything. I would do anything to repay this dept. This didn't mean I wanted anything more. Orochi and Kuchinawa were like brothers to me, so that was brotherly love. I never even thought of sharing the love between a man and a woman with them!
It was the same with Lloyd as well, I always thought I loved him, something more than there really was. In the end, I knew all of it was only a mere mirage caused by the great respect and admiration I had for him. I never loved him that way. It was as if a fan would admire someone so much that they thought this was the love they wanted.
"My sister, what am I going to do?" She didn't answer as I sighed to myself. All those times I thought I had a crush on Lloyd when I did not.
I glanced down at the little angel, wondering if she was asleep during the time I had turned my attention away from her. Instead, I found her eyes going in another direction, which I followed with my own eyes. This was when I finally hadeye contact with the idiot Chosen of Tethe'alla.
Even though he was distant, I could feel my cheeks burning at the thought of his silent gaze upon us. Inwardly, the beating of my heart increased without control. Suddenly, I saw him raise an eyebrow and give me "the look", the one I think meant "Sheena, your cheeks are burning because of my gorgeous good looks again". Sometimes, I couldn't help but be either mad or amused by his small antics.
Regardless of our differences, I could honestly say I knew him very well and vice versa. He spoke with delight and carelessness. He acted with selfish ambitions. At times like this, I felt that he was disturbed by lots of things around him but still tried to act like the idiot he was.
As time went on, we exchanged a lot of words with each other, whether they were of concerns, taunts, or encouragement. We cared for each other when the other one was down, teased each other when the other one was bored, and we encouraged each other when the other oneneeded motivation. Everything about him was mellifluous, even all the trouble he caused.
We fight an awful lot because we actually mind what the other person has to say. If it were anyone else I would merely ignore him or her, not wasting my breath with words of anger or dislike. At least, this was what I believed. I actually believe that he thought about me enough to even think of all these remarks.
He continued to stare until I finally stuck out my tongue at him, causingan expression of surprise to appear onhis face.
Finally, he stood up, gave me a forced smile, and walked over to Lloyd's side. Had he caught my stare at Lloyd a second ago? Was he mad now? In the end, he sat by Lloyd's side and I just smiled privately. It was the same as with Colette and myself, they were like brothers. We were all in one big family. They might not show it on the outside, but I believed they were alike in many ways and cared for each other deeply.
I felt better about myself after all these events we had all gone through together. Everything seemed to be in a new light, a more peaceful one. The battle tomorrow I already know we will win. Not even Mithos could beat the strength we all had for ourselves and for each other. Nothing could compare to this. The bond we all share as one will be our main key to winning. We are all strong, whether it is with our weapons or our hearts.
"Sleep, little pigeon,
And fold your wings,
Little gold pigeon
With sapphire eyes;
Sleep to the singing
Of mother-bird swinging
Swinging the nest
Where her little one lies.
Away out yonder
I see a star,
Silvery star
With a tinkling song;
To the soft dew falling
I hear it calling
Calling and tinkling
The night along.
In through the window
A moonbeam comes,
Little gold moonbeam
With misty wings;
All silently creeping,
It asks; "Is he sleeping
Sleeping and dreaming
While mother sings"...
But sleep, little pigeon,
And fold your wings,
Little gold pigeon
With mournful eyes;
Am I not singing-
See, I am swinging -
Swinging the nest
Where my darling lies." I sang the famous Mizuho lullaby as best as I could.
After singing a lullaby to Colette, I continued to stroke her hair. She seemed to be steadily drifting off into a soft slumber. I began to fall asleep myself when I felt a small tug.
"Alright?" I nodded.
"Thanks for always being there for me, my sister. I really needed that hug." I felt a small nod and knew she was still listening.
Home… the battle is drawing nearer and soon, I will go back home to the village I long for so much. I am determined to show my village that even if I was a summoner and the successor to Mizuho, I am also Sheena. I am Sheena Fujibayashi and I want everyone to look at me for who I am, not what titles I processed. I will protect everyone I cared for.
"You want to hear something interesting" Suddenly, I brought out a question as I told Colette in a faint whisper about what I thought to myself about my village and Zelos as she listened without a peep. At last, she nodded to show she had listened the entire time.
Out of the blue my sister whapped me with a pillow. It was so unexpected that I didn't realize I was hit until I heard her small giggles. I grabbed one of my own with a mischievousness look on my face. Is this a challenge I'm sensing?
Tomorrow I am determined to win the battle to protect the family I have back in Mizuho, the family I have right here, and everyone else in the world even the reckless Zelos Wilder. Grinning to myself at the last thought, I knew I must win this battle in front of me first.