N/A: Hello again! =) So apparently my muse is not done with me yet. It's been dragging around by the ear for a while, but I finally got this chapter out. It's surprisingly hard to write from the perspective of a teenager in a baby's body. I think it turned out okayish. Hope y'all enjoy. =)
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Warnings: occasional swearing, crappy Google Translate Japanese
Chapter 1
Sara's first waking emotion was panic, because she distinctly remembered falling on the stairs, and she had to get up now, before someone saw and thought she'd been hurt. Injury from her own carelessness was not acceptable, she'd get pulled out, she had to get up-
But she couldn't.
Before even opening her eyes, Sara realized that she couldn't lift her head. It was so heavy, her whole body felt like lead, like a dead-weight, and she couldn't move, oh god, oh god-
Her toes twitched.
Sara stopped. Wriggled her toes again. Then her fingers.
Oh, she thought, mildly embarrassed. She took a deep breath. Well. That's good, then.
She opened her eyes.
Everything was a bit blurry, the lights too bright and surrounded by halos, like that time she'd stayed in the pool for three hours straight and had been half blind for the rest of the day. That was alright, she could deal. She just needed to figure out what was going on.
Exerting a tremendous amount of effort, Sara managed to fold onto her side, becoming aware as she did so of the thin tube inserted in her left nostril. She went cross-eyed trying to look at it, but gave up after a minute to squint at her surroundings instead. Well, this clearly wasn't her house, because the walls were a shiny-clean white, not dirt-smudged cream. A hospital, then, she decided.
This realization was followed by some relief. She knew hospitals. Hospitals were safe. She must have hit her head badly when she fell, that was all. Mum and dad would be worried, and pissed. Her brother was probably laughing his ass off.
Her eyelids began to droop. Unable to think of a good reason to stay awake, Sara let them.
She dreamt of bright sunlight and glory.
...
Over what must have been the next few days, Sara woke frequently, though a regular sleep schedule eluded her. She woke seemingly on a whim, and slept at the most inconvenient times, like when she needed to go to the bathroom.
(The urge to go was always gone when she woke though, so she didn't think too deeply about it.)
...
As time passed, her thoughts cleared, and the inconsistencies began to stack up. Why am I so tired? she wondered. Where are my parents? How can I go days without going to bathroom?
She began keeping track of the days as best she could, noting when the ward's lights were dimmed to imitate night. Another week passed. Two. There was still no sign of her parents. Were they visiting when she was asleep?
She struggled to sit upright, but her limbs were not cooperating. Her core strength was just gone, completely. And why was her head so heavy? What the hell had she done? Had her head injury damaged her motor control or something?
But that wasn't right, was it? She could move, she was just- she was just so weak, like a jellyfish, like she hadn't used her muscles for- for... well, a very long time! Just how long had she been asleep?!
Weak muscles or no, she would not be deterred. The bed she was in had bars, like a cot (why did it have bars? And no sheet or pillow?), which Sara fumbled for blindly, her eyes still not having cleared. Then, with a combination of strategic rolling, butt sliding, bracing, and pushing with her stupid, stubby, flabby legs (wrong, wrong, wrong, how long?!) she managed to prop herself up on the bars.
And- oh.
Oh.
...
There really was no right way to deal with realizing you were a baby again.
On one hand, it felt incredibly therapeutic to scream her lungs out for a while. And since she was a baby, no one could tell her to shut up, could they! In fact, the nurse that rushed in to pick her up appeared to be more excited and relieved than anything. She cradled Sara to her chest, swaying gently and cooing to her in a language she couldn't recognize. In the end, it felt rude to scream right in the lady's face, so Sara trailed off into a series of sniffles that didn't, she thought, convey her panic-horror-grief-bewilderment nearly as well.
On the other hand? Well, on that hand, Sara had no idea what she was doing. This was so weird, what was she supposed be doing, thinking? There was no point thinking negatively when it wouldn't change a thing, but then was she just supposed to ignore what she felt?
And it hurt, it hurt, it hurt, she was stuck, she was lost, she was alone, she was dead - because that was the only explanation. She'd killed herself falling down the stairs, and how fucking dumb was that? How pointless? She'd just slipped, it was a stupid mistake, it was so stupid- and she wanted to take it back, please, please pleasepleaseplease-
But life didn't work like that. She'd said it herself, hadn't she?
...
She slept and she woke and she felt numb all over.
Wasn't this what she'd always wanted? Another chance? To be young again?
Why did she only ever see what she wanted in hindsight?
...
But then.
It was. This was a second chance. She was young again. She had a whole life before her. And... if she couldn't go back... then...
...
It was a bright, sunny day when Sara began to let go of the past. She knew this because, for the first time since her dea- birth, the nurse - a different, younger one - took her outside. She was placed on a soft blanket on the grass, stomach down, and oh- this was new. She hadn't been able to lie on her stomach before!
She wriggled happily for a few minutes, entertaining the nurse, if her giggles were anything to go by. Sara cooed back, thoroughly content for the first time in a long while. Everything looked different when you were a baby. That lady beetle, for instance! It was the size of her thumb nail, surely!
She stuck out her thumb to compare, but the beetle flew away. Aw.
But look! A person! Two people! Three!
Sure enough, a young couple were approaching, guiding a toddler who couldn't have been much older than herself. He was... two, maybe? Three at a stretch. All chubby cheeks and dark, fluffy hair that Sara's fingers itched to grasp a tuft of.
"Bwaa!" She said in greeting, kicking her feet.
He stared back at her curiously, then up at his parents, obviously wondering what this odd, tiny person was. The parents exchanged glances, then the woman smiled, delicately guiding her son towards Sara, while the man hung back with a neutral expression.
"Ohayōgozaimasu!" she greeted the nurse cheerfully- and, was that Japanese? Huh. "Kore wa anata no kodomodesu ka?"
Sara blinked. What did that mean? She'd taken Japanese briefly, years ago, but nowadays her understanding of the language consisted of saying 'yes', 'no', 'good morning', 'thank you', 'sorry', 'Hello, my name is Sara', and the all-important, 'Excuse me, where are the toilets?'
"Ā, īe," the nurse replied with a laugh. "Īe, kanojo wa minashigodesu. Watashi wa koko de byōin de hataraite imasu."
"Bu?" She burbled questioningly. The little boy squatted next to her. "...On'maehanandesuka?"
Sara squinted. That sounded familiar. Was he asking what her name was? "Sawa?" She mumbled uncertainly. Was that even her name anymore? On some old instinct, she glanced at the nurse for confirmation, only to see her looking like she'd seen a ghost. "Kami! Ā, nanto gūzendesu, haha!" The young woman exclaimed, shaking her head. "Kanojo no namae wa saradesu."
"Sawadesu?" She parroted, wide eyed. That was her name! She got to keep her name? The other lady giggled, saying something to the nurse. Sara wasn't listening. With only momentary fumbling, she got her knees under her and sat up. "Sawa!" She said again, more clearly, knocking one chubby fist sloppily on her chest. "Me?"
What if...
"Dooyou speagin gish?" She tried hopefully. "Myn... naaymiz Sawa." The nurse and lady made cooing noises, and Sara's heart sank. "Iwaz reiinanett'd!" She pleaded. "Imm nodda baby! Hewp me!"
No reaction other than more cooing.
Sara slumped. It had been a long shot anyway. But what were the odds that she'd be named 'Sara' again? One in a million? She supposed she should just be grateful to keep her name at all, though the pronunciation was different - closer to 'Sala' than 'Sara'. It was something, anyway. One last tie to her old life. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? She wondered. Would it be better to have a completely blank slate? She'd been given a carte blanche on this new life, a chance to start all over- but then, was it really a blank slate if she had all her memories as baggage? Would she have been better off without them? But then she wouldn't really be Sara anymore, would she? What was a person, but the sum of their experiences? She wondered if-
~POKE~
Sara eeped, reeling back, only to overbalance and tumble onto her backside. She lay there, blinking up at the little boy who looked back, wide-eyed, one finger held out incriminatingly. Had he just poked her? In the face? Who did that?
Struggling upright, she reached out with intent to poke him right back, only for him to lean back out of her reach. Determined, she crawled speedily towards him, while he scooted further away with a faintly alarmed expression. Putting on a burst of speed, she latched on to his leg and promptly sat on him.
He froze.
"Baa boy," she said severely, poking him in the chest. And then, when that didn't have the desired effect, she poked him on the nose for good measure. "Baa."
For a moment, neither moved. Then slowly, he raised his finger-
"Itachi! Nanishiteruno?" The grumpy looking man demanded, looking unimpressed.
Itachi (ah, her fangirl heart was dying of jealousy; what a cool name!) looked up with a doe-eyed, who-me? expression. What a con-toddler. Sara blew a raspberry.
The man grunted, turning away. "Mikoto, Itachi. Ikou."
Immediately, Itachi scrambled to his feet, nevertheless managing to dislodge Sara with surprising gentleness. He was leaving? "Aw..." Her bottom lip trembled.
Itachi looked down at her almost guiltily and patted her head. "Gomen, Sara-chan. Baibai."
He paused, then, with a furtive glance towards his father, quickly poked her on the forehead and ran away.
Sara gaped.
Then she squealed indignantly.
"Baaa boy! Tachiii!"
...
Sara didn't see her new friend/poking rival again for a long time, though various nurses brought her outside every second day. She might have been more disappointed if her mind hadn't already been occupied by more pressing concerns - such as her introduction to nappy changes, which had hitherto been conducted while she slept. Her sight finally cleared enough for her to make out the chart hanging above her cot, which pronounced her to be 42 days, or 6 weeks old.
At seven weeks, her schedule changed.
...
Even with the language barrier, it didn't take long for Sara to catch on to what was happening. A middle aged couple had appeared at her cot, led by the oldest of the nurses, who lifted her and carefully passed her over to the woman. The nurse murmured something Sara didn't catch, though she thought she heard her name in it.
A quiet moment passed.
"Sara," the woman whispered, tears appearing in her eyes. "Kanojo wa kanpekidesu." The man, her husband, wrapped his arm around her, almost reverently brushing his thumb over her tiny hand. His hands, in contrast, were huge, calloused and warm. Was this...?
"Korera wa anata no atarashi oyadesu, Sara-chan," the nurse said gently.
Sara's eyes grew wet. Oya. She knew that word.
Parents.
Slowly, deliberately, she wrapped her little fingers around his thumb and held it close.
A/N: Phew! That was hard! Anyway, haven't really got any end notes for this chapter.
Translations:
Ohayōgozaimasu - good morning
Kore wa anata no kodomodesu ka? - Is this your child?
Īe, kanojo wa minashigodesu. Watashi wa koko de byōin de hataraite imasu. - No, she's an orphan. I work at the hospital here.
Onamaehanandesuka? - What's your name?
Kami! Ā, nanto gūzendesu! - God! Ah, what a coincidence!
Kanojo no namae wa saradesu - Her name is Sara
Nanishiteruno? - What are you doing?
Ikou - Let's go
Gomen - sorry
Baibai - bye bye
Kanojo wa kanpekidesu - She's perfect
Korera wa anata no atarashi oyadesu - These are your new parents
If you speak Japanese and I've made a mistake, please let me know! I don't particularly trust Google Translate, but I don't know Japanese myself so I didn't have much choice. Rest assured, the Japanese will be finished by the end of the next chapter at the very latest. Please review! =)