I find an over sized shirt and put it on to cover myself. I'm not really feeling any better, but at least I'm clean now. I go back to the living room and grab my phone from the couch. Ten new messages! They're all from that angry guy! I read through a few of them but it all sounds like nonsense. This guy sounds like some jealous girlfriend, and that's how I know he must be dating the guy I woke up with. I reply back to a random one trying to get anything from him, I just ask him his name.

"None of your fucking business. You stay away from me, and you stay away from Lavi."

And there it was. He gave me exactly what I wanted. Lavi. Well, at least now I know my gorgeous mystery man's name. Now if only I could figure out why I was in bed with him, and how I got to his apartment. What now?

I can't call him or talk to him, not because I'm too afraid of what that other guy, will do if I do, but because I don't have his phone number. I really probably shouldn't anyway. If that's how this guy talks to a complete stranger, I can only imagine the ear full poor Lavi is going to get when he finally does wake up. Still, now it's sinking in. I feel awful. What if I ruined their relationship? Clearly, if Lavi has a boyfriend, then that means he was cheating. He was cheating on him with me. I wish I could talk to him, just to figure out what went down last night. It's killing me that I can't remember anything. There's no way I can ask this psycho for Lavi's number. I don't know what to do. Whatever. It's not like I could apologize or anything anyway. I don't even know what I did, or if I did anything to begin with!

I decide to forget about the whole thing for just enough time to call into work. I'll just make a quick phone call and be done with this and try to do something with all of that in a minute. I start to dial the office number and when my phone starts to guess at who I'm trying to call I tap the screen and click the call button.

"Black Order Publishing. How may I help you?" Her voice is so sweet.

"Ah! Lenalee! It's Allen. I'm sorry to say that I won't be coming in today. I just need today off. Make sure Mr. Cross finds out last, okay? " I get it all out in one breath. She pauses for a moment, like she's worried or something.

"Is everything OK? You've never done this before. You would be about four hours late if you had decide to show up! That's so unlike you! What's going on?" Her tone is full of worry.

"I know. I know. It's just, something happened last night. I know it's very last minute and I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, but I've just got to stay home today. I'll work twice as hard tomorrow I swear! I promise I'll be there tomorrow. Okay?"

"I believe you Allen. I'm just worried. You better tell me everything! I better get off the line, we have fifteen hundred orders to fill today."

"Alright. Thank you, Lenalee. You're sweet."

"Yeah yeah. And you OWE me. See ya"

"Bye."

I'm still sitting on the couch. Still oblivious as to how I can fix or brighten this situation. The awful feelings start to creep back and I feel sick again. I set my phone down and lay down on the couch. I just don't know what I should do. What if somehow I do find out what happened last night, and I don't like it? I'm so scared I'll never know and it could haunt me for the rest of my life, and I'm also scared it will be something terrible, awful, and I won't want to know, but if I do know, I'll know forever.

Once you see something, you can't "un-see" it. The same goes for words. I would know, I work at a publishing company. I need courage, strength, confidence, and I really need to stop acting like a teenager.

I get off the couch and get up to make coffee. My phone rings and I grab it, finding a new text message waiting for me. An unregistered number, I might as well leave it alone. It's probably just that guy again, threatening me or spewing something that doesn't make any sense.

I set my phone down by the sink and suddenly I'm a little upset I didn't come home last night. I grimace at the dirty dishes in the sink. This apartment is small and I don't have a dishwasher. Living by myself, I don't have that many usually, but if you absolutely despise doing dished like I do, it doesn't matter if you have one, or ten, you just hate doing it. I get to work on the dishes before I get to my coffee. After I finally get everything done, I decide to just take a chance and look at what the message says, just in case my luck turns around for the day. I can't believe how right I was.

"Sorry the queen bee is such a bitch this morning. -Lavi" I couldn't be any happier. I feel like my day just got better. I know what that guy said. He told me not to talk to him. But I want to, so I'm going to.

"I'm sorry I just left like that but I didn't know what to do.

Waiting for him to respond, sitting in silence felt like the hardest part of my life.

"It's probably best you did. Look, to explain things simply, don't listen to a damn thing he says. We're not a couple. I got your note. We should meet up to talk."

This is great. This is just what I need. Now I can find out what happened and maybe, somehow, things will turn out OK.

"When and where?" I can't type fast enough and I have to go back and fix my mistakes several times before I can send the message.

"London Public Library. Off North Wortley. Thirty minutes"

I'm glad I called into work today. I quickly get dressed. Something classy, business casual. I want to look good for him. I grab a jacket and head out. It's still raining out, much harder than before. I'm lucky I live so close to the subway station. I run to the station and get on a train. It takes about fifteen minutes to reach Grand Ave., and then another 10 to walk from Grand up to Whortley. The library is on the left side of the street. I'm exhausted by the time I get there. I started running as soon as I got off the train. I stand outside, trying to catch my breath. I decide to text Lavi and let him know I'm here.

"I'm here. Where are you?"

I was afraid I'd gotten here a little too early, but he responds almost immediately, so I assume he's here too.

"Let's play a little game. Come find me. I'll be waiting in the library."

No way. You're kidding me. I have to find him? What, like hide and seek? This seem childish, but I have to find out, so I do as I'm told. I wouldn't be as annoyed, but the library is huge. There are three floors. I want clues, but I don't want to ask. I stand inside the main entrance, wondering where I should start looking first.

I head to the very back of first floor. This is the kids section. Children's literature, classics, bedtime stories, coloring books. I head upstairs. This entire floor is dedicated to research, holding encyclopedias, historical event accounts, etc. The third floor holds whatever didn't fit on the first floor and didn't belong on the second. There's a romantic fiction section, anatomy books, and historical fiction in the front. The back is filled with best-sellers of years ago, potty literature and things that people who actually read real books would never touch. I head to the romantic literature area, going past shelves and shelves of saucy romance novels with steamy covers of half naked men and other things. I continue on. It seems they've divided up novels into categories since the last time I was here, and they flow more like they would in a bookstore. There a section labeled "gay erotica" which I glance past quickly and fully intent to avoid all together. I get another text message. I'm standing in the middle of all the rows of shelves for the romance section.

"You're really close"

You have got to be kidding me.

I look around to make sure there isn't anyone around up here to see me walk into the section labeled "gay erotica." I'm so embarrassed I could die.

I don't see anyone when I get back to the furthest section and the last row of shelves on the right side. Then I hear something move behind me. I turn aroudn quickly.

"Lavi?"

I'm greeted by a not-so-familiar face. A blast of orange hair, pierced ears, things I don't really remember. But I know it's him. He moves towards me quickly, I move backwards to step away from him a little, he' getting really close very quickly. I feel shelves of books behind me. He corners me. I'm nervous, scared, and a little desperate, and he's not making it any easier.

"There's no mistaking that hair color of yours. It's completely white."

"I-I could say the same for you. Orange."

He gets as close to me as he possibly can, and puts his arms around my waist. He's taller than me, by at least a foot. I feel him lean into me, and nuzzle into my hair. He kisses my hair. I want to put my arms around him too, and embrace him, but I'm too scared. Suddenly I have no confidence and I can't even manage to ask what I've been dying to know for the last couple of hours.