Title: Your Smile Brightens the Dark
Author: Paï
Word Count: 1,503
Pairings: Ichigo/Ishida
Rating: K+
Status: Incomplete (2/16)
Warnings: A lot! First, it's my first fic, English is not my native language, and then lot of angst, and a clueless Ishida... And wwwuuu... A big ";-;" warning for this one?
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, it would have been a yaoi manga! XDDD

PART TWO: Protect you?

"Of course not! I told you, now I have to protect you!" he says. I turn around to retort, but what I see makes me forget what I wanted to say.

Why is he smiling? There is nothing funny, I was being angry over nothing, and he is here, holding my arm, smiling at me, he, of all people who smiles once in a decade!

Why is there still this strange sensation in my stomach? It's heavier than when I sense his spirit, and I can't even speak. I can barely think. Maybe Kuchiki-san felt the same when he smiled, and when Kurosaki discovered it, he decided to try it on others; maybe he wants to make fun of me. Well then, he has succeeded.

"I… Kuro…saki…" I begin. What an idiot I am, really, this is so stupid.

"Yeah? What's goin' on?" The smiling face is replaced by a worried one. Maybe he was waiting for some shouting, as I usually do, so when no answer comes out, he seems more worried. "Ishida?" he whispers, catching my other arm and squeezing them tightly.

Then I sense what's troubling him, streaming over my left cheek. A tear?

Taken aback, I weakly try to back out of his hold, but he struggles too, and I lose my balance, finding myself on my knees, not able to fight back any more tears.

"Sensei…" I whisper, eyes unfocused.

"Ishida?" he repeats, not knowing what to do. "Why the hell are you crying?"

"Sensei… I can't – I… want my powers back," I manage to say between two sobs, more speaking to myself than answering. How ridiculous and weak he must find me. Why is it that he above all people can see me like that, why can't I act normally when he's around? He made me feel so weak just now... Those brown eyes always seem to be reading me like an open book; he makes me unable to lie to him, like Sensei used to.

I hate you, Kurosaki Ichigo, for making me feel so weak, even more now that I don't have my powers anymore. Damn that Kurotsuchi. I hate shinigamis.

"Oi, Ishida! Stop that, would you?" he shouts, shaking me. "What the fuck is going on in your head? The Ishida I know doesn't give up that easily."

"Kurosaki," I say, looking at him.

"Of course you'll have your powers back. I don't know how but I'll help you ok? And if you don't want my help, then let me just protect you until then, ok?"

"I –"

"No" he cuts me off, "I don't need you to agree. It'll be like that, like it or not." He catches one of my tears with his thumb. "And I don't want to see that anymore, ok? I prefer when you're shouting at me, I prefer when we fight each other, I prefer when we fight together." he adds, his eyes more serious than I've ever seen, piercing through me once again. I'm so captivated by those words that a long time passes by until I finally hear my heart beating really fast.

And I can't do anything else other than stare at those fierce brown eyes, his words echoing in my mind, more tears forming in my eyes. One more thing to add to the list: why do you always say what I really want to hear?

First you say that I'm your friend, then that you'll help me get my powers back, even if I know it's impossible; Sensei warned me, but I disobeyed. I really don't deserve your help at all. I don't deserve your attention anymore. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to live.

With this last thought, I sense myself falling. I feel weaker than ever. I don't even have the strength to open my eyes again, but I sense that my head is resting on him.

The last thing I felt before fainting is that I'm being lifted by two powerful arms and that I wanted to stay like that forever.

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Rain drops falling on me. That must be what woke me up.

Terrible headache. Too much noise. What happened? A waterfall, a kind of promise, tears, orange hair, brown eyes…

"Kurosaki!"

I quickly open my eyes. I'm lying down on a street. I manage to lift myself up a little, my back resting against a wall. Where am I? Where is he? It wasn't a dream, was it? Then, what am I doing here if it was a dream? I'm sleepwalking now?

But then I see him, not that far away, in his Shinigami outfit, holding his Zanpakutou in front of a huge Hollow.

I try to lift myself up to go and help him, but then he seems to sense I was awake, for he shouts without looking at me.

"NO! Don't move. I told you. I'll protect you, even if it costs me my life."

I can see that his face is determined, as he always is when he takes a fight seriously.

He charges; the Hollow dodges. One more sway and he reaches it from behind. Hollow blood spurts, staining the rain. The cry of the Hollow is piercing through my eardrums. The battle continues, and I can't do anything to help him. I try to move, but my head really hurts, and I feel like I'm going to faint again.

No, don't, idiot. He's fighting, and you're there, sitting quietly. The least you can do is stay awake and watch him fight, even if you have to slap yourself.

That's what I do. And I watch their quick moves, the rain falling painfully on me, their sounds keeping me from fainting again.

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The rain is still falling, more intensely.

I fainted? Am I really that useless?

The raindrops seem heavier this time. I open my eyes, hoping to see only Ichigo next to me, resting a little to recover from the fight.

A white mask is all I can see. And all I can hear is this awful laugh, a high-pitched Hollow laugh. It gives me the creeps. The Hollow is right in front me, bending, his blood dripping onto me.

"Kurosaki," I call, only succeeding in whispering his name once more. Where is he? Don't tell me this…thing…No! It can't be! Not Kurosaki. He can't be defeated by a simple Hollow…

I reach into my inner-pockets, searching for the spirit caps I made for emergencies like these. I finally find one when the Hollow starts moving his left arm towards me. I prepare myself to throw the cap when its left arm suddenly falls out, more blood spurting everywhere. I see Kurosaki, right behind the monster, his bloodied Zanpakutou tossed over his shoulder.

I don't know how the Hollow can still be alive; just by looking at Kurosaki's eyes I want to sink into the earth like a guilty dog frightened by his master.

He says something, but I can't hear what it is as the Hollow shouts and makes a quick move to turn over and face his opponent. On the way, I sense his claws sinking in my flesh, ripping my chest and stomach in the move.

I can't hold back a loud cry of pain.

Behind my wet eyes I can see the fight still going on, but I begin to find it really hard to breathe now.

Am I going to die like this?

A ripping sound, a loud cry, a thud…

"Kuro…saki?"

I can feel warmth surrounding me. Is it like that when one dies? Then it's a good thing—I don't feel the pain anymore.

"Ishida" I hear him say, his voice betraying his worries. "No, don't move." he adds, holding me as I try to rub my eyes. I can't see very well, I can sort out his shape but I can't see him clearly. It's all blurry.

As he wraps something around my wounds, I sense more warmth. I finally understand that it was not death, but him, his reiatsu is flowing over and through me in a comforting way, warming me and even easing the pain. I smile a little.

He seems to take it as a sign of some eminent death, for he slaps me gently. "Ishida! Oi! If you see a black tunnel, don't move! Don't go into the light!"

This only has the effect to make me really smile.

"You're really…idiot," I manage to whisper.

This seems to relieve him, for he tries a smile too.

"I… I'll take you to Urahara, he'll heal you. Don't worry."

To have him smiling as probably the last image I'll see makes me forget everything else.

"I don't," I say, confident. I reach for his face with my hand. "You…me… better… smile…" are the only words that come out through my halting breathing. "Thank…you…–saki…"

A smile… worried eyes… And then nothing… everything goes black, I don't have the strength to open my eyes anymore.

A shout… The feeling of strong arms… strong reiatsu... Then the feeling of flying up through the rain…

"Ishida? ISHIDAAAAAA!"

----------------- Following on episode 3 -----------------