Author Note: Thank you, everyone, for your follows and reviews so far! Sorry for the small delay here, but hope you continue to enjoy. Chapter 3 is already almost done. You should see it at latest tomorrow afternoon (EST). I have ideas through chapter 5, but I can keep building this out if I keep hearing from you guys and you are enjoying it. I've missed these ladies!
About an hour later Maura was ready to send the body to the morgue for further investigation. Korsak and Jane had been able to collect all the evidence available to them and were simply waiting for the body to be removed. Technically as soon as the detectives had what they needed they were no longer required to stay, but as soon as Maura was part of the team Jane had made it a standard practice. If Maura was on the scene, so was someone from Jane's team. Final answer. Jane never felt comfortable leaving Maura unprotected, regardless if it was 8:00 am in a rich neighborhood. They were investigating what was clearly a murder (though of course, Maura would not confirm yet on the scene) and that meant this location, like every location, was not free from potential harm.
While Jane stood, waiting protectively (and slightly impatiently) for Maura, she tried to continue to push the blurry vision she'd been fighting all morning from her line of sight. The one thing she felt more deeply than the desire for the room to stop spinning ever so slightly, was the ache in her chest. It was easy to forget how much she missed Maura simply in general when she stayed away. Ok, maybe easy was a bit of an understatement. Easier was probably more like it, not easy. It was easier when she couldn't hear her voice or see her smile or watch her work. Here and now, the pain was at the forefront of everything. God, she missed her. All of her.
The spinning was getting worse and the need to touch Maura (a need she minimized as best she could) was getting unbearable. The two together forced Jane to desperately desire some fresh air.
"Uh Korsak," Jane said just above a whisper. "I think I might need to step outside. Make sure Maura walks out with you."
Jane didn't need to state it. Even with Korsak as her superior no one would ever put Maura in danger. Simultaneously, no one would ever cross Jane when it came to Maura. Maura was both Jane's greatest strength and her Achilles heel. The distance Jane had put between the two of them had not gone unnoticed by Korsak. His gut told him there was a strong chance Jane finally figured out she's in love with Maura. And with almost forty years of trusting his gut as a detective and over ten years working with Jane, he knew he could rely on it.
It did, however, take Korsak a second to understand something was off beyond that, but as Jane walked away he began to see her steps falter.
Jane's face had started to lose color. She started towards the door without looking at him. The dizziness, mixed with extreme heat that really hadn't left the house was getting a little much for her. Removing her gloves first, she then stripped her sweatshirt and jacket as she walked towards the door.
"Jane" he yelled after her.
The concern and confusion in his voice triggered someone else's concern. Maura was immediately pulled out of her final directions to her team and her head snapped up towards Korsak's voice. Without second thought Maura was hot on Jane's heels out the front door.
Maura found Jane standing to the right of the front door, tucked as far away as possible from view but still inside the crime scene tape. It was barely over 40 degrees outside, but Jane had stripped down her upper body to only a simple white tank top. What was worse was that her tank top was soaked with sweat, clinging to her sports bra and muscular back. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides holding her warmer clothing, the obvious tension rolling through her back, shoulders, and triceps. Even from behind her, it was obvious to Maura Jane was having a hard time steadying herself and standing up.
Jane had heard Maura's heels on the cement steps even before she approached. She begged herself to stay standing and prepared for the concern she knew she'd hear in the medical examiner's voice. She tried to hedge off the worry by saying, "I'm fine Maura" but her voice was weaker than she had hoped it would be.
"Jane you are soaked in sweat and your body is not properly covered for this weather. You most certainly are not fine." Maura's voice was laced with concern but came off authoritative, a clear indicator she was still in Dr. Isles mode while at the crime scene.
Jane turned around to defend her pride and immediately regretted it. She dropped her hands to her knees to steady herself and squeezed her eyes shut. She was angry at herself for showing weakness, she should never have skipped her dinner last night.
Maura's hand ran gently across Jane's back until her arm was wrapped around Jane, her palm gently placed against her ribcage. Despite every neuron in Jane's brain telling her to keep it together, she let out a whisper of a whimper at the touch. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, but took comfort in Maura's warmth and smell. With thought temporarily suspended, Jane slowly tilted her head towards that warmth and found sanctuary in the nook of Maura's neck.
The quiet whimper from Jane knotted itself in Maura's stomach. Jane had been so distant, so unneeding of Maura as of late. She had expected Jane to reject her approach, she was prepared for a bit of a fight, but instead, Jane had given into her instantly. And now as Jane's breath danced against her neck the knot began to flutter just a bit. A familiar feeling that felt wildly out of place began to surface inside Maura. Longing. She didn't understand it and pushed it aside to evaluate later.
Maura knew she needed to keep her guard up for both of them. Jane was out of sight now, but as soon as they took even three steps they would be in the view of reporters, cameras, detectives, officers, and onlookers.
"Jane I need you to stand up as best you can. We are going to confidently walk to my car, it's just right there, do you see it?" Maura pointed to less than 20 yards away. "I know you are trying to hold it together. Let me hold you together until we get there."
What is more dizzying than dehydration? Maura Isles. Maura instinctively had recognized Jane wouldn't want to look weak in front of everyone, that it would be too much for her to handle. So in a moment, she couldn't walk herself Maura held her together. And this is why Jane loved her. This is why it was impossible not to love her.
Jane slowly stood up, wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder, took a deep breath, and opened her eyes. As Maura guided her forward she forced herself to share at least a tight-lipped smile and nodded as she walked past the officers and camera crew on the lawn. Maura walked her to the passenger seat, secured her inside, and then came around to the driver's side to sit with Jane. Maura turned the heat on lightly and handed her water bottle from the cup holder to Jane. She reached behind the passenger side seat where Jane sat and grabbed a banana from her purse.
"Based on your dizziness and coloring, I'm going to guess you are neither properly hydrated nor nourished today. Please drink the water and eat the banana. I'm locking you in here so don't you dare try to leave." Her voice was sweet but firm. Any objection Jane wanted to muster was muted by her need for her best friend's care.
Maura saw the conflicting emotions reveal themselves through microexpressions on Jane's face. Jane was her favorite, most frustrating subject. Some days it was like Jane was shouting her feelings through her expressions and mannerisms - and yet other times she was literally the most confusing person in the world to read. She would show one thing, but her voice's tone and actions right after those expressions would display something completely different. Today was the former, however. Jane was too off of her game to be so thorough about what she gave away.
Jane turned away from Maura a few seconds later, staring at her feet for a moment, and then closed her eyes. Maura knew she should get back to the crime scene to finish up, but along with the worry inside her, she felt the longing resurfaced itself again. It was this need to comfort Jane, but worse it was a need to touch Jane. A need to express herself through something more nurturing then just words. Maura reached for Jane's left wrist holding the water, ran her fingers over Jane's before taking the bottle from Jane's grip.
Maura opened the water and then looked back up to see Jane's eyes squeezed tighter still.
"Please Jane" she spoke gently. "I need you to drink a little bit of this"
Jane turned to Maura accompanied with a deep breath and slowly reached for the water bottle back. Maura watched her as she slowly took sips of water. She analyzed the expresses she saw moments earlier. The discomfort and worry made sense - Jane clearly wasn't feeling well and probably didn't like that she had shown any type of weakness. The express Maura was thrown by was the fear that flashed quickly and then vanished when Jane took a breath. It was masking something she wasn't able to make out fast enough. Questions rattled off in her brain. Is Jane feeling worse than I realize? Is Jane having nightmares again? Is Jane in trouble and I don't know anything about it?
"Stop," Jane said quietly. "I can hear your wheels turning over there, just stop."
"I can't help it, Jane. This isn't like you." Maura looked at Jane's face. Her forehead still crinkled in lines of anguish but she was drinking the water and Maura supposed she couldn't ask for too much more.
"Maura it's nothing. I was exhausted last night and fell asleep without eating. And when I woke up this morning I went for a run and was going to end it at the cafe over on 4th for breakfast." Jane took another deep breath, "I was called here before that could happen. It's just stupid timing. Don't worry about it"
Jane being too busy or too tired to eat made very little sense, especially since they did not have an active case in the past four days until this morning. The twitch in Jane's face as she spoke also told Maura this was a half-truth. And why would Jane go to the cafe on 4th, when her favorite cafe, especially for her Saturday morning feast (as Jane put it) was the exact opposite direction near Maura's neighborhood? All of it left Maura uneasy, but first, she knew she needed to get Jane's blood sugar and potassium up. Pressing the buttons of a starving Rizzoli was not something she was eager to do.
"Please keep drinking the water and eat your banana. And I mean it Jane, do not leave this car." Looking at Jane's uneasiness Maura knew there was no way Jane would stay even with her current threat so she played the card she knew Jane wouldn't mess with. "Promise me, Jane"
"I promise" Jane repeated back as if it was an annoyance.
Jane heard the click of the lock as Maura left. She also faintly heard Maura talking to a news reporter that they would have more to tell them later today. She felt so stupid and annoyed at herself and frustrated that now she had to stay here and wait like a child. She slowly finished the water and the banana as she waited for Maura to return.
Back in the house, Korsak approached Maura as soon as she returned. "All ok with Rizzoli?"
"She's dehydrated and she shouldn't have been out running this morning without proper nutrition, but she'll be fine," Maura responded with a bit of Dr. Isles in her tone. She walked up to her team and signed the papers for the body to be removed. She made a few more comments, grabbed her kit, and returned to Korsak's side. Korsak looked around realizing most had left and pulled Maura aside.
"Sorry Dr. Isles, but I need to ask again. Is everything ok with Jane?" His eyes were searching. His expression was soft and Maura knew this was no longer Sergeant Korask asking the Medical Examiner, this was Vince asking Maura. He was not just asking about today, he was asking about the ever-growing space between Jane and herself.
Maura knew she missed seeing Jane, probably more than she should. She also understood Jane probably had other things going on, even though she wasn't sure what. The honest to God truth was that Maura had no idea what was going on with Jane. She had barely spoken to Jane outside of work items in weeks. The reality was gut-wrenching.
A memory of two weeks ago quickly flashed through Maura's mind -
It was a wonderful, rare moment where they were together without it being work-related. Jane had agreed to let Maura buy her coffee and they even left the precinct to do it. They were walking up to the counter when Maura notice Jane noticing a very handsome man pouring cream into his coffee. What was surprising to Maura was not that Jane noticed someone, but that recognition flashed across her face.
Jane asked Maura if she was good to order for the both of them, Maura nodded slightly out of shock, and then watch Jane walk towards him. When she walked up to the two of them, after paying with coffees in hand, the man had his hand on Jane's arm lightly holding her just above the elbow. Jane's back was to Maura but she could clearly see the man's face which was one of kindness and a clear joy to be seeing Jane. Maura heard him say, "Looking forward to seeing you again on Friday. 7 pm, don't be late." He said with a smile and laugh. He then winked at Jane, which is something Jane only lets Maura do without her getting ruffled. Noticing Maura approaching he nodded to her and turned around to leave.
"Who was that Jane?" Maura asked as she handed Jane her coffee. She had added a slightly flirtatious tone hoping to make Jane blush and spill the beans she was clearly keeping from Maura.
Jane snorted, a Jane Rizzoli defense mechanism, and asked, "Why?"
"Well, he's very cute Jane. If you aren't interested seeing him, surely you could have introduced me" Maura flirted out again. She wanted to put Jane on edge to get more information from her. She missed their playful banter.
"Oh really?" Jane said with a tone of something Maura couldn't quite put her finger on in the moment, "Why, has something happened with Mr. Perfection?"
"Jane" Maura teased back at the perfection comment. "Jack and I are not exclusive. We are still getting to know each other." Maura was surprised to see Jane's facial expressions weren't as playful as she was expecting when she looked up from her own coffee. Until that moment they have both had been looking down at the counter and their coffees adding cream (or in Jane's case a 1/2 lb of sugar) as they spoke.
When Jane made no other comments, Maura tried one more ribbing, "So who is he Jane?" trying desperately to sound playful and not heartbroken that Jane wouldn't tell her anything about the man she was dating.
"Oh, Derek? He's my therapist Maur" Jane deadpanned. Maura rolled her eyes. She hated when Jane used humor to get out of something and she was going to call her on it until their phones went off with a call from dispatch.
Jane was dating some mystery man. AND Jane had been encouraging Maura to spend time in her new relationship so Maura had done just that. That space was, however, no one else's business. Maura felt defensive, but mostly she felt helpless. She honestly had nothing to report to him even if she did feel like he was being nosey.
"I honestly have no idea Vince" Maura replied.
"Maura I'm not asking you to reveal Janie's secrets or anything, but something is going on. It's... well it's changing her somehow." Vince was sincere, but it didn't stop Maura from snapping back at him.
"So you assume I did something? How is that fair? Maybe it's Derek who has her all thrown off. Honestly..." Maura cut off what she was going to say when she noticed that while Vince's concern had not left his face, it, however, had been joined by a small smile.
"Are you referring to Derek Jacobson?" Vince asked, trying desperately hold back the smile that had started to tickle at his cheeks. He had never heard jealousy flow so easily from Maura Isles' tone and now was not the time to tease her.
"Oh, so you've met him? Jane doesn't have the decency to share these things with her best friend, but you even know his last name?" Maure knew she was being childish, but it stung. "I need to get back Vince. I left Jane in the car and her likelihood of staying there decreases with every minute I'm still standing here."
"Ok, but Maura you should talk to Janie. When you feel comfortable. I didn't mean to hit a nerve. I'm just worried."
Maura nodded and walked to the car.