A/N: I don't know what it is about this chapter, but I had the most ridiculously hard time writing it, and even after editing, I'm still not sure how much I like it. Oh well, at least it's done.
I hope you enjoy!
Christina was a smart girl. Smarter than all the other kids in her class. She could count to one hundred and read The Cat in the Hat all by herself. She knew how to tell time and how to dress herself. She could cast a spell to get rid of her carrots when she didn't want to eat them. Most of all, she knew when something was wrong and nobody wanted to tell her.
When Daddy was sad, he got really loud. He yelled and screamed and made people run away from him. Except for Mommy. She stayed and yelled back because she wasn't afraid of anything. It always made Daddy calm down and be happy again. When he was mad, it was different. He never yelled, he used his scary face instead.
Christina had seen his scary face before, like the one time he caught her making her carrots disappear. She saw it again when he was talking to Natasha. He used his super scary face because Natasha was a hero and heroes weren't scared of his regular scary face.
Something was wrong with Mommy. She was hurt or she was sick. Christina wished someone would tell her. Natasha had bought her a double chocolate chip ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles and chocolate sauce on top. It was Christina's favorite, but she was only supposed to have it for her birthday or when she did a good job at school. Whatever was going on, it must be really bad.
When she got tired, Natasha brought her to a room with a big comfy couch. The nurse gave them a blanket and Natasha tucked her in.
"Get some rest, Christina," she said. "Everything will be fine."
She'd been saying that all night.
Even though she was scared for Mommy, Christina was sound asleep in seconds. Her dreams were always fun ever since she learned to control them. She could make her dreamland whatever she wanted, a beach or a park or Disney World. Sometimes, she made them like a memory, but they never came out right and redoing her birthday party stopped being fun after the fifth time.
Sometimes she was alone in dreamland, and sometimes she brought friends. Today there was a little boy she'd never met playing with action figures in the garden while Christina brushed a life-sized Twilight Sparkle's mane. He had dark hair and brown eyes. There was a teddy bear in a blue jacket next to him. They didn't talk or look at each other. The sky should have been sunny, but Christina's mood turned it grey and cloudy.
"My mommy is hurt," she said. She dropped the brush and Twilight flew away.
"So's mine," said the boy.
Natasha shook Christina awake as she was showing the boy how to put together a jigsaw puzzle. They never got to finish it, but the picture was a star.
"Christina, we have to go now," Natasha said. "They're moving your mom to another part of the hospital."
"Okay," Christina nodded. "I made a new friend in my dream. His mommy's sick, too."
Natasha's phone rang, and Christina stopped talking. Mommy always said that when someone was on the phone, it was rude to interrupt. Natasha took the call and led Christina to the door. She clutched her Twilight doll for comfort but found the warm plush lacking for the first time in her life.
"I hope Mommy's okay, Twilight…" she whispered.
"It looks like retrograde amnesia," the doctor said, keeping a distance of five feet and the receptionist's desk between them. He was of average height and build, no warrior by any stretch of the imagination. If Loki wanted, he could blink and the man's spine would be ripped from his body. The way he was feeling, it might even be cathartic.
"Explain," he hissed.
The doctor gulped as beads of sweat formed on his brow. "Uh… well, sometimes head injuries cause a deficit in one's memory meaning-"
"I know what amnesia is!" Loki bared his teeth at the simpering human. "Tell me how you're going to fix it."
"W-we're not sure yet," the doctor squeaked. "We have to run some tests. If we're lucky, her memory will come back naturally."
"If we're lucky?" Magic sizzled in his blood, ready to burst forth until a hand on his arm and an obnoxious voice in his ear doused the flames.
"Woah, okay Rudolph, let's dial it back a notch." Tony Stark had changed into a clean suit, but his hair was a mess and his eyes bloodshot. Steve Rogers trailed behind him in a uniform stained with dirt and soot, not even trying to keep up appearances. "I'll take it from here, Doc. You've got other patients."
The doctor looked ready to kiss Stark. After he scurried away like a roach, Stark refused to release Loki's arm. Apparently, he wasn't all that fond of his hand. "You can let go now, Stark."
"Not until you've calmed down," Stark said. "I know that look. You can't have a temper tantrum in a hospital, especially on a planet you tried to conquer once. Unless you want to get kicked out?"
"If these idiots would do their jobs, I'd have no need to complain," Loki ground out. He called back his magic regardless. Stark was an imbecile, but every now and then he made a fair point.
"We should find someplace private," said Rogers, eyeing the many spectators who'd halted their daily tasks to watch the show.
"Agreed," Loki and Stark said, never breaking eye contact.
They found a vacant waiting room which locked from the inside. Stark scanned the perimeter for bugs while Rogers closed the curtains. Loki could've handled both tasks in the blink of an eye if not for Jane's screams ceaselessly echoing in his ears. All semblance of concentration was lost in the face of that. Not to mention the sickening thought of what else Jane might've forgotten.
"First things first." Stark laced his fingers behind his back as if he were in charge. "Where's Christina?"
"Agent Romanov is watching her."
"Works for me. Should go without saying we can't let her see Jane like this."
"Truly an astute observation," Loki said curtly. "Now that we've successfully stated the obvious, why don't you explain what happened to my wife?"
Stark narrowed his eyes but knew better than to pick a fight. Largely because of Rogers' presence. Without a peacekeeper, one of them would've thrown something by now.
"Okay, let's start with the facts." He tapped his watch, projecting a holographic video of Jane at the bridge site. Men and women in lab coats bustled about like good little worker bees. Jane oversaw their work from the main control panel. There was no audio, but Loki could easily envision her delegating responsibilities and supervising repairs."This is ten minutes before the explosion. We had just finished system inspections and software upgrades. At that time, everything looked good."
Stark appeared at the corner of the screen going over numbers with one of the scientists. He gave Jane a thumbs up, which she half-heartedly returned. In the corner was Rogers, a passive observer of the hectic activity. He stepped forward at one point while Jane was rewiring the circuits. He faced away from the camera, his words unclear but for Jane's distracted response.
"What was that? What did you say to her?" Loki rounded on Rogers, backing him against the wall. "Tell me!"
"I was asking if she needed help," Rogers said tersely.
"Not that Steve and I haven't had our own disagreements in the past, but how about a little gratitude?" Stark folded his arms. "Jane would be dead if it wasn't for him."
"She wouldn't be endangered in the first place if you fools weren't so incompetent."
"This from the guy who would've gotten his ass kicked by Thanos without us 'incompetent' humans? That's rich."
"Enough," Rogers shouted. "We're all scared for Jane, but fighting never helps anything. Loki, I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now, but you have to control yourself. And Tony, stop antagonizing him. I don't want to ask you to leave."
"Remember that time we lost the Siberian bomber and you broke the record for most f-bombs dropped in one sentence?"
Rogers gave him a dirty look. "Just show him the rest of the video."
The feed continued with Jane ordering all nonessential personnel into the viewing booth. This left her, Stark, and several no-name assistants paid excessive amounts of money to press buttons. Jane secured her goggles and gave the order to launch. Tony paused the video there, leaving it frozen on Jane's glowing smile.
"This is a second before we turned on the generator. Best I can figure, something in the internal workings threw a screw which started a chain reaction leading to a power surge."
"That's what caused the explosion? Your so-called technological advances may be lacking, but I know Jane's bridge is not so delicate that a single loose screw could destroy the mainframe."
"It's almost like you should let me finish, and then go on your little 'Loki smart, humans dumb' rant." Stark unpaused the video. "As I was saying, Jane noticed the disruption and asked me to check it out while she set the program on automatic. By then, the internal damage had spilled over into the core processor and the system overheated. I didn't even get a chance to check it before…"
The screen turned to static, flashes of broken footage blinking in and out. When the visual returned, the scene was one of pure carnage. Fire, broken floors, blue sparks everywhere. Blood poured from broken bodies as they dragged themselves to safety. Those who weren't injured helped them along, then went back to seek out their friends. Jane's console had been reduced to a molten blob of plastic and metal. Jane herself was nowhere to be found.
Stark pressed a button on his watch, bringing up a new feed. This camera had taken the brunt of the blast. A long crack down the middle split the image in half. Through the smoke, he caught multiple shadows running into each other and a gaping hole in the floor. Jane's bridge generator was unharmed, reinforced with vibranium plating to be virtually indestructible. The smoke cleared and there was Steve Rogers, hoisting himself out of the hole with a broken, bleeding Jane over his shoulder.
"She was pretty out of it when we found her," Stark said, pausing to let Loki take it all in. "Right after this, the paramedics took over, I called you, and here we are now. The memory loss we didn't know about yet. If we had, I would've given you the heads up."
"I should have gone with her," Loki paced in a circle like a caged animal, knocking a chair out of his way with a burst of unfocused magic. "I knew I should have gone with her. If I had been there..."
"Well, you weren't, and you can't change the past," said Stark. "All we can do now is wait for Jane to get better and hope the amnesia is temporary."
His phone rang suddenly and at the same time, a nursing assistant poked her head inside, timidly requesting Jane's husband. While Stark backed into a corner to answer the call, Rogers took care of the nurse. She seemed perfectly happy to relay her message to him and not have to speak directly to Loki.
"That was the New Asgardian Embassy," Stark said upon ending the call. "Thor's on his way and will be here in approximately three minutes. I swear you guys are too fast…"
"Jane's being moved upstairs to the trauma unit," Rogers said as the assistant made herself scarce.
"Any change?" Stark asked.
Rogers' face said it all. "They got her to calm down and she fell back asleep. Luckily, she didn't make the concussion any worse."
There was nothing accusing in Rogers' tone but Loki felt the blow anyway. He inhaled through his nose, his muscles tight as he forced his feet forward. Walking didn't calm him down, but it was better than standing still. "If the concussion is causing her memory loss, will it not return as she heals?"
"Hopefully," said Stark. "Amnesia's a tricky bitch. It can clear up in five minutes or it can last a lifetime. Luckily, Jane's brain scans came back good. No major trauma in the hippocampus."
"So this could resolve itself," said Rogers.
"She could wake up tomorrow morning pining for her favorite reindeer," Stark winked at Loki, though his usual gaiety was absent. "For now, all we can do now is wait. Wait and have lunch. Anyone up for pizza?"
"I couldn't eat if I wanted to, Stark."
"Neither can I, but it's worth a shot." He tapped his earpiece. "FRIDAY, dial Frank's Pizza."
"You really expect me to just sit here and do nothing," Loki seethed.
"No, I expect you to stand and do nothing. Unless you have a better idea of how to help Jane."
Loki definitely had an idea. 'Better' was, by his own admission, debatable, but it was an idea. "We don't have to wait because I can find her memories myself."
Stark gawked at him, as did Rogers. "You wanna run that by me again?"
"Which of my words did you not comprehend, Stark?"
"Loki, that'll never work," said Rogers. "Jane is already hurt and you want to go digging through her mind?"
"Don't speak to me like I'm a fool, Rogers. I would never harm my wife."
"I know, but I've seen you turn hardened soldiers into mindless vegetables with that spell," Rogers said. "You can't blame me for being skeptical."
"I can blame you for trying my patience," Loki growled, stalking towards the captain. "Every second we waste with idle talk is another second Jane spends unaware. If you think I'm going to settle for waiting it out, you are going to be very disappointed."
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Loki," said Stark. Loki, in turn, had to agree with him: he couldn't believe it either. "How about we compromise? We do Loki's idea, but we bring in a professional. Someone whose expertise is more on the healing side of things and less on the inducing hallucinations side. What about that healer goddess I've heard about? Air something or other?"
"Eir," Loki said, "and she can't help. She was killed during Hela's invasion."
"She must have had apprentices, though," said Rogers.
"She had several, but they are inexperienced." Loki had met some of them while negotiating a land deal with Norway for Asgard's new island home off the Scandinavian Peninsula. They were fine girls well on their way to becoming renowned healers, but they were still girls. "Most of them have barely reached adulthood."
"Do they know the spell?" Stark asked.
"They do," Loki grudgingly admitted. "You understand you're asking me to place my wife's well-being in the hands of a child?"
"To be fair, brother, there are worse things."
Oh good. The almighty king was here at last.
Thor had switched from his armor to a plain brown jacket and blue jeans for the occasion. His eyepatch was black like a pirate's. His hair had grown back and he'd mostly stopped snapping his teeth when someone holding scissors came within a foot of him. All in all, Midgard was treating the oaf well.
"Hey there, Point Break. How's New Asgard?"
Thor smiled at Stark. "We've all settled in quite well. But enough about that. How is Jane? Do we know yet how much she's forgotten?"
The cheery atmosphere his arrival had brought instantly dissipated. For once in his life, Loki hadn't the words to speak. He lowered his gaze to the floor as Rogers answered: "She doesn't remember Loki, so we're thinking she won't remember Christina either. We're not letting her see Jane until we know for sure."
"A wise decision," Thor said grimly. If Loki had to guess, he'd say Thor worried for Christina more than Jane. She'd had that uncle of hers wrapped around her finger from the moment he first held her. "My brother and I owe you a debt of gratitude for saving her, Steve."
He clapped Steve on the shoulder, getting a modest smile in return. "It was nothing, really. I just hope Jane'll be okay."
"She will be, my friend. She is stronger than you know." He turned to Loki. "I can have Ragna here in an hour. Eir always said she was her finest protegee."
"Thank you, brother, but I'd rather do this myself."
"Putting aside the brain-melting thing we're all worried about," Stark butt in, "there's also the issue of objectivity. We don't let parents operate on their children, so how can we let you mind probe your wife?"
"He's right, brother," said Thor. "I know it's hard for you to relinquish control, but for Jane's sake, let me call Ragna."
Loki ground his teeth. Helplessness did not sit well with him and if that bridge wasn't Jane's pride and joy, he'd spirit off to her lab right now and destroy it with his bare hands. Stifling the overwhelming rage, he said: "Do it."
Thor sighed. "Thank you, brother."
"Okay, glad we got that worked out. Didn't even have to punch anyone." Stark walked to the door. "If anyone needs me, I'll be dealing with the press. They've been outside salivating since we got hear."
"Tell them to leave at once and never return, or else the wrath of the God of Mischief shall rain down upon them for the rest of their pathetic lives."
"And the God of Thunder," Thor added as he typed out a message to Ragna on his phone.
"Copy that."
They didn't stick around long after Stark left. The lobby had quieted down now that all patients had been relocated to the appropriate department. Loki led the way to triage where they were given Jane's room number and directions to the elevator. Rogers never said a word even as the receptionist saluted him. They followed the signs and Rogers continued to lag behind, first by one step, then by five.
"Is there a problem, Rogers?" Loki didn't care in the slightest, but the captain's brooding was wearing on his nerves.
"Everything's fine…" Rogers said, shaking his head. "I mean, it's not fine, but… this is going to sound weird, but does Jane ever talk about me?"
Loki's jaw clenched. "My wife has no reason to think of other men if that's what you're inferring."
"It's not," Rogers said. "I only ask because of something Jane said earlier."
Loki slowed to a stop. Thor was too far ahead and didn't notice them. "Said what?"
Rogers bit his lip. "When I found her, she was still awake. She kept talking to herself. Most of it I couldn't understand, but when I picked her up, she looked at me and said 'I'm so happy to see you, Steve.'"
"What's so strange about that?"
"She never calls me Steve, only Captain Rogers." He shrugged. "It might not mean anything, but… I don't know..."
Loki appraised Rogers. His posture was strong, but something in the air around him had shifted. It wasn't a question of what, because the answer was obvious. In order to reach the elevators, they had to pass the war memorial. James Barnes would have smiled at Rogers as he had in life. As he did before removing his commlink and running headfirst into battle like a true warrior.
"You lost someone dear to you in the war against Thanos, did you not?" Rogers sucked in a breath. He never liked talking about Barnes. "Perhaps you didn't love him the way I love my Jane, but I trust you realize I will do anything to get her back."
Rogers nodded. He likely didn't trust himself to speak. That was fine. Loki had no time to listen. He went ahead and found Thor holding a car. They rode to the seventh floor in silence. Loki watched the numbers light up in sequence, from two to three to four to five. They never stopped and no one else got on. It was as much a relief as it was agitating. Nothing in the world would bring Loki joy more than looking into Jane's eyes and seeing all the love and devotion they had shared for the last few years.
But he wouldn't see any of that today, and the worst part of all was knowing it.
"Natasha, can I have a cookie?"
Natasha put down her magazine. Christina was on the couch with her Twilight doll, watching My Little Pony on the wall TV. Her favorite episode was on, the one where Fluttershy had to teach Discord to be a good guy. She wasn't paying much attention and kept staring at the floor instead of the screen.
"I'll see if the nurses have some wafers," Natasha said.
"No, those are yucky." Christina pulled her head out of the pillow, showing Natasha wide, tear-filled eyes. "A chocolate chip cookie from the cafeteria would make me feel better. Please?"
It took a stronger, colder person than Natasha Romanov to deny a frightened three-year-old. "Promise me you'll stay right here until I get back."
"I cross my heart and hope to die."
Natasha eyed her suspiciously, but as Christina went back to staring aimlessly at nothing, she seemed satisfied that no funny business was going on and slipped silently out of the room. Christina waited for her steps to fade and counted to sixty. The door didn't open. She leaped off the couch with a cheer. "We did it, Twilight! She's gone. Now let's go find Mommy."
Christina ran to the door and looked out. There was a doctor, a nurse, and a man with a food cart down the hall. She opened the door slowly; it had a really loud creak. None of them paid attention to her and then they disappeared into different rooms. The coast was clear.
"Okay Twilight, let's go over the plan." She set the doll down and put her hands on her hips. "First, we find Mommy. Then, we tell the doctors to make her better so we can go home. With any luck, we'll be back before bedtime. Any questions?"
Twilight swayed and fell on her side.
"Very good. Time to impelment phase one." Christina closed her eyes, concentrating on the waves of magic floating around her. Her daddy always said they were everywhere, but most people didn't know how to sense them. That was why she was special. Grabbing hold of the waves, she recited the spell in her head. Her body tingled like she'd been split in half. When she opened her eyes, a perfect copy of herself lay on the couch under the covers, exactly how Natasha had left her.
"Daddy's gonna be so proud of me," she whispered to Twilight as she tip-toed out of the waiting room.
She kept close to the wall, hiding behind a garbage can when the food cart man came back out and moved to the next room. Another spell could make her invisible, but Christina hadn't learned that one yet, so she only had her wits to go by. She had great wits, though. Mommy and Daddy always said so. Speaking of Mommy, the first room Christina checked wasn't hers. There was an old man with a bandage on his head.
The second room wasn't her's either. Neither was the third or the fourth. She was getting closer to the end of the hall and Natasha could be back in the waiting room trying to figure out why Christina wouldn't talk or move. Making the copies do things was another spell she didn't know yet.
"Dr. Foster," someone said in the next room over. "I'm sorry to wake you, but we need to check your vitals."
"Okay…" said a really sleepy voice Christina would know anywhere.
"Mommy!"
She sprinted down the hall, forgetting all about being a super sneaky spy. She smacked into a doctor's legs and kept going. Someone shouted her name and it might've been Natasha. She didn't care. Her mommy needed her.
"Mommy!" She curtains aside with her mind. They flew off the rings into the corner. Her mommy was propped up in bed, pale with band-aids all over her face and arms. Maybe she tripped and fell from really high up. Christina did that once. It hurt so bad she cried for an hour.
"Sweetie, you can't be in here," said a nurse holding a thermometer.
Christina ignored her. She approached the bed, so excited she could hardly speak. "Hi, Mommy! I missed you so much. Did you miss me, too? Did you?"
She jumped up and down as Jane stared at her. Her mouth hung open; her eyes were scrunched together like she was confused. "What?"
"I drew you a picture. It's us and Daddy looking at the stars on a hill. I would've brought it with me, but Daddy said we had to leave fast because you got hurt, so I couldn't."
"Wait, I don't…" she closed her eyes and was silent for a long time. She opened them again and they landed on Christina without a hint of recognition. "Who are you?"
Christina giggled, though her heart wasn't in it. She had that bad feeling again. "I'm Christina, silly. Your daughter."
She reached for her mother's hand, but Jane snatched it away. Her pale skin had become a lot paler. "No… no, that's not right. I don't have a daughter.
Christina's heart sank to her feet. "Of course you do. I'm your daughter!"
"Stop it. Just stop it." Jane buried her head in her hands as sobs wracked her body. "I don't know you. Go away."
"But..." Fresh tears welled up in Christina's eyes, real ones. Suddenly, a scrape on the knee didn't seem quite so bad. "Mommy-"
"I'm not your mommy!"
Jane screamed so loud it shook the room. Christina had been yelled at before. She'd been punished before, but never had her mommy sounded like this. Like she never wanted to see Christina again. Like she hated her.
As the nurse struggled to calm Jane down, Christina ran, wailing at the top of her lungs. She nearly collided with her father and Uncle Thor. Loki caught her, his expression one of horror as he immediately understood what had happened. "Christina-"
She shoved him away and kept running, so fast her legs ached. She ran until she couldn't run anymore, and then she fell to the ground and cried her eyes out.