He knew that no one else could have known about them. If Simon knew, Jayne would probably be dead. Mal didn't want to be the one to blab about…whatever they were doing. That's when it hit him. They might be an item. Jayne never let anyone kiss him on the mouth before. What if they were…together…?

He was only worried with his crew. He didn't want River to get hurt, or Jayne on the off chance that he was actually human. There was a reason for the shipboard romance rule. He stopped right there. Simon and Kaylee were together and he was with Inara. His rule was shot to hell. Jayne and River were the only two left. Jayne had needs. Maybe he had run out of whores to sleep with. River was a beautiful girl. Mal had no doubt in his mind about that. Still, that didn't justify having sex with a seventeen year old girl when he's over twice her age.

He couldn't tell everyone, but he could tell his girlfriend. That was confidential. She wouldn't tell. He could get her advice. After all, she was friends with River and sex was her area of expertise. It was settled. He'd talk to her about it.

Morning came and Mal got ready for the day. He joined everyone at the table for breakfast. It was strange. Now that he knew that River and Jayne were…whatever they were, he noticed more things. Like the way they interacted or occasionally looked at each other.

There was something in their eyes. Want. Lust. No, hunger. It made Mal sick to think about what they were doing in Jayne's bunk. At least he knew why she hadn't been up at the table every night. She was up in Jayne's bunk, with Jayne.

He saw the way Jayne watched her when she got up from the table. He got this smile on his face. Mal wanted to wipe that smug grin away for good.

"I'll be piloting," River announced as she floated out of the room. Her hand brushed across Jayne for just a moment on her way out. To anyone else, it would have appeared accidental. But Mal knew better.

"What's the plan for today?" Jayne asked.

"We'll land tonight. Until then make sure the cargo is secure," Mal said while secretly thinking, I shove you out the airlock.

"Okay. I'll be 'round."

He got up from the table and went towards his bunk. Mal figured that he'd be going to see River. He was tempted to follow him, but he decided to talk to Inara instead.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked as he pulled her aside from the table.

"Of course."

"Somewhere…else?"

Inara didn't like his tone. She nodded and followed him to the cargo bay where they stood on the catwalk like had done many times in the past.

"I need your advice on somethin'…"

"What is it?"

"I saw somethin' last night. I don't rightly know what to do 'bout it."

"Mal, you're scaring me."

"I saw River…with Jayne…they were…" he tried to convey what they were doing without actually saying it.

"They were…?"

"You know…"

"No, I don't…"

"Kissin' and all over each other."

"River…and Jayne?"

"That was my reaction."

"How serious?"

"They were kissin' on the mouth real hard and they went in his bunk. He was barely dressed, same with her."

"Wo de ma."

"I know."

"Do you know if they're together?"

"No. Don't say anything to anyone. Simon will kill him." If I don't first.

"Just let it be. They'll let everyone know when they're ready to."

"But…"

"But…?"

"This is River. River."

"And?"

"I don't want her gettin' hurt. This is a recipe for unpleasantness."

"Mal, let it be."

He sighed. "Okay, but when she gets her heart broke-"

"Let her make her own choices. She's her own person. But it's sweet that you care."

"I know she's her own person. Her and Jayne, it just don't sit right with me."

"You have no say. It's her life. Let it be."

He grunted. She was right. He knew that she was. She smiled at him and lightly kissed him.

"Don't do anything rash," she added after gently squeezing his arm. She walked away and entered her shuttle to leave for her appointment.

He watched her go with a steady annoyance bubbling under the surface. Inara was off to sleep with some other guy while River and Jayne were secretly sleeping together and there was nothing he could do about any of it.

One week. One painfully agonizing week went by. Mal sat there every gorram day knowing that the mercenary was banging the pilot. Every night he shuddered to think what they were doing at that very moment. He wanted to tell. Oh he longed to tell. Maybe Simon would knock some sense into Jayne and he'd think twice about sexing River.

Sure Simon was a little guy, but damn he had a good right hook. He was doctor too, so he'd know exactly where to hit Jayne. That would be a fight Mal would pay to see. He'd love to watch that unfold.

All he could do was wait. He hated waiting. Always did. Even in the war he'd sit there impatiently. Zoe kept him from going completely crazy. In this case, Inara was the one keeping him in line. One day he was going to tell everyone. He wanted to. He caught Jayne looking at River, more like leering, and he just about lost it. Before he said anything, Inara grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

"Let it be, Mal."

He pulled away with a few unpleasant words in Chinese and then apologized. Luckily for him, Jayne and River decided that being secretive was overrated.

****

"This place is a dump," Jayne growled as the mule pulled up to the crappy bar.

"Perfect place to meet…" Mal began as he scanned the area. "If'n you're rich and wanna keep somethin' under wraps like our contact."

"I still don't like this, Sir."

"I know, Zoe. I don't neither, but this will help our reputation."

"Don't forget 'bout the money neither!" Jayne grinned cheerfully.

Zoe rolled her eyes and climbed out of the mule followed by Mal. They had already gotten halfway to the bar by the time Jayne followed. He was busy hiding a few extra guns. It was his, "Always be prepared, 'cause ya never know when yer gonna haveta shoot everyone" policy. Six guns was a bit of overkill…well, it would have been for anyone that wasn't Jayne Cobb.

The rusty bar doors swung open with a rebellious screech. The stench of alcohol, sweat, and tobacco smoke hit them like an invisible wall. The lack of open windows and the over abundance of rickety ceiling fans made it all sorts of fragrant in the tiny place. It was buzzing with customers drinking, playing cards, or just sitting around smoking. Clanking glasses and drunken laughter filled the stinky air.

"Our man ain't here yet," Mal stated as he looked at all of the faces around them.

"We'll just wait then," Jayne shrugged as he lumbered over to a table in the back corner. "Hey, whiskey!" he shouted while motioning to the table.

Mal and Zoe exchanged looks and moved over to sit with him.

"I should check around to make sure we haven't missed him," Zoe sighed as she got up from the table.

"I agree," Mal nodded.

She also gave him a little nod and then started walking around. Jayne reclined in his seat with a grin and the glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked over at something behind Mal. He motioned to whatever it was. Mal cast a quick glance over at the object he was pointing at.

Whores. Jayne was pointing to the whores that just walked in. Mal felt rage rising to a dangerous boiling point. He was with River! He shouldn't be looking at them.

"Speakin' of sexin', I bet Inara's somethin' else."

Mal's eyes locked with Jayne's. He hoped that they were clearly conveying how furious he was.

"None of your business."

"Are you two hittin' the bed every night?" Jayne pressed.

"None of your business."

"I'll take that as a no. Too bad. 'Cause I'm gettin' me some every night."

"Oh really?" Mal was relieved that they weren't keeping it a secret anymore.

"Sure am."

"Who's the woman?" he knew. He just wanted to see what Jayne was going to say.

"Now you can't tell Simon yet. She's gonna do that. But it's River."

"River? Really? So are you two in a relationship?"

Jayne snorted. "Hell no. We're just havin' sex. That's all we want."

"We?" the rage was rising again…

"Yeah. We agreed. Just sex. No strings attached."

"Oh..."

Mal thought that the conversation was over. Oh no. It wasn't. He wished that it would have been.

"Let me tell you somethin', that girl is somethin' else! Some of the best gorram sex I ever had! 'Cause she's like a…witch…and she gets all in my thoughts and knows exactly what to do. She turned me 'round on my no kissin' on the mouth thing. I wasn't gonna kiss her there, but she kissed me anyhow. She's the best kisser in the whole ruttin' 'verse! She's got them big, soft lips. Ya know the one's I'm talkin' 'bout?"

"I-"

"Anyhow, she started kissin' me with 'em and I said, 'To hell with that!' and I just started kissin' her like crazy. She does this thing. She bites my lip and it's so gorram sexy! She's so gorram sexy! Let me jus' say, if you think she's somethin' dressed…" he let out a low whistle.

Mal remembered the first time he saw her. She was naked. It was a sight he had forgotten until Jayne mentioned it.

"Look at my gorram lip! It's all swollen 'n bruised from her!" he laughed.

"Yeah that's…somethin' else…" Mal managed through clenched teeth.

"Ha! You should see what else the girl's done to me! More like what I've done to her if you get my drift," he laughed again.

Mal forced a smile before drinking everything that was in his glass and motioning to the bartender to bring him another.

****

While Zoe, Mal, and Jayne were out on a job, the girls decided to go relax some. Kaylee, Inara, and River went into the next town over for some relaxing time in the sun.

They all sat down on some chairs by the water with glasses of lemonade in their hands. It was a beautiful day. Sure the planet was small and it had its slums, but it also had its lovely side. The breeze was perfect. The sun was warm. Life was good.

"So how's it going with Simon?" Inara asked Kaylee.

"It's goin' great! He's so sweet and kind and gentle…"

River rolled her eyes with a disgusted face. Inara and Kaylee laughed.

"Sounds like you really like him," Inara smiled.

"Yeah. We's havin' a shiny time together."

"In your bunk," River smirked. Kaylee turned red and Inara howled with laughter.

"What 'bout you 'Nara? How's everything with the cap'in?"

"Good."

"Are you two…?" Kaylee asked with a suggestive look in her eyes.

"Having sex?"

"Yeah."

"Well you know…"

Kaylee giggled. She had never seen Inara blush about anything before, let alone sex.

"How is it?"

"KAYLEE!"

Kaylee and River burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"Well?" Kaylee asked after she finally got herself under control.

"It's not hard to judge this activity," River added.

Kaylee turned to River. "And how would you know?"

"I'm sexually active, thank you very much."

Kaylee's mouth dropped. "WHAT?"

"I am."

"Since when? With who?"

Inara remained silent. She already knew.

"Jayne."

Kaylee's mouth dropped further. "WHAT? You and Jayne? When? How?"

"Every night for three weeks or so now."

"Every night?" Kaylee and Inara asked in unison.

"Yes. So?"

"That's…often…" Inara explained.

"What can I say? We have energy."

"Why Jayne?" Inara asked.

"It just happened."

"Is it…good?" Kaylee asked timidly.

"Very. He's very good with his hands. He's a good kisser."

"I thought that he didn't kiss on the mouth," Kaylee frowned.

"Who said anything about the mouth?"

Inara and Kaylee laughed while simultaneously blushing.

"I turned him around on that policy anyway," River added with a smirk.

"Are you dating him, or is it just sex?" Inara inquired.

"Oh no. We are not an item. It's just sex."

"And lots of it…" Kaylee commented. They laughed.

"Don't tell Simon. I will when the time is right."

"Sure thing, honey. He's gonna try to kill Jayne when he finds out…" Kaylee sighed.

"I know."

"How exactly did this 'just happen'?" Inara asked.

"Well…"