Spero
Chapter 2: Unconditional Love
If you'd forgotten:That familiar twang in my stomach appeared. It happens every time I had to speak with Lucius. For now, I brush it away. It's Halloween, time to enjoy myself. As soon as the food appears, my thoughts disappear and the feeling goes with it.
He is tall, not large-boned but densely, solidly built, an athlete, with a distinct physical presence. He'd grown into the kind of man who, shaking your hand, looks you directly in the eye and he's already got your respect. It was a leap from the usual.
He'd been dubbed the "obligatory psychotic jackass" of Hogwarts, because there is always one. His slogan being "nothing's ever my fault." He can be an arrogant, smug, vindictive jerk. He can sometimes be stupid and reckless. Always rubbing his wealth and privilege in the faces of those less fortunate. He does some really evil things sometimes. So why, oh why am I smitten with Draco Malfoy?
Is it the desperate need for unconditional love? Not mine, but his. Maybe.
Merlin, a part of me feels like giggling while another part of me wants to slap myself silly and say, "seriously?" all day long. It is yet to be decided which side will win out.
I see him walk into the Great Hall with Crabbe. I swear he's been eyeing me. It's a little disconcerting but when Draco gives me that signature smirk I put it to the back of my mind. It's not the usual smirk filled with hatred and malice, but one he gives me as if we're sharing a joke.
"Hey! Thomas, don't look at my sister like that," I turn to see Ron pulling a finger across his neck. Ginny throws a roll at him and glares. She'd come in the other day and thrown a fit. Ranting about how terrible Ron could be. How she could look after herself. Their quarrels always sent me to bed with a headache. It's no use trying to mediate or take a side. In the end they have unconditional love for each other; they are siblings, after all.
Ever since he'd happened on Dean snogging Ginny, Ron's been as touchy as your average Blast-Ended Skrewt. He's always watching them, looking out for Ginny he says. I'm glad he's finally doing what a big brother is supposed to do, but this is a little much. Even so much as a look between the two or a simple 'Hello' and he goes postal.
I'm glad I have Harry, though. He balances out Ron's rash temper. With out him I don't know how I could deal with Ron at all. I'm not sure how anyone could.
Well, maybe Lavender. "Ron," she coos, taking his attention off of Ginny and Dean. She's been paying him a fair bit of attention lately. It came straight out of left field. Generally you'd hear about these things. Whom Lavender liked, I mean. Her She and Parvati are constantly talking about those things.
I think I would just die if she ever sunk her claws into him. I like her, I do. It's just she can be a bit much at times. I think I'm regretting playing a part in McLaggen not getting onto the Quidditch team. Lavender would have never noticed Ron if he weren't Keeper.
As it gets closer to midnight people leave the Great Hall on their way back to bed. The Professors aren't strict tonight about curfew. It's Halloween and a good time should be had by all. I join those who left are leaving, waving a goodbye to Harry and Ron.
Ron doesn't even notice, as Lavender is inviting him back to the common room. I almost want to stay now. Go back to the common room and keep and eye on the two. Just so they don't wind up breaking school rules is all.
I don't like Ronald.
Instead of heading for Gryffindor Tower, I'm off to the west wing of the castle. The only light provided is from intermittent torches on the wall. Where there are windows, the moon provides a soft eerie light. I walk through Hogwarts to meet him.
A hand on my arm pulls me into the dark toward the warmth of a gentle kiss. I find myself giggling like a schoolgirl in his arms. "What are we doing?" I ask as I look up at him, a grin plastered on both of our faces. I'm not sure whether his or mine is bigger. I search those gray eyes of his for an answer.
I don't find one until he whispers, "no idea," before leaning in for another kiss. It's nice knowing that I'm not the only one who doesn't know what's going on. What this thing is between us. This is all I want to feel tonight. I feel so light. Whether this is right or wrong I'm really not sure. It's confusing.
Steps sound as someone happens upon the two of us. I bury my face in Draco's chest to hide my identity; what would people say if they found Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger snogging in a corridor? "What?" he hisses at whoever it is. I turn to see a girl going quickly toward Ravenclaw Tower, blonde hair shimmering in the light.
I look back to him, studying his face. He raises his eyebrows, probably wondering what I'm thinking. "Do you think this – thing will ever get more normal?" I ask, a hand on his cheek.
His hand goes to mine. "What, like will we ever go to Hogsmeade together? Take a stop-off at Madam Puddifoot's Tea House? Go for a stroll holding hands and buy each other teddy bears with hearts that say I wuv you bear-y much?"
"Yes, exactly that," I tease, "except I want my bear won through some sort of demonstration of manly ring-tossing ability." He laughs and nuzzles my hand. It's not really a bad notion. I quite like the idea myself.
Planting a soft kiss on my hand he tells me, "Maybe, one day." I know just as much as him that my question was naive. The odds are against us. Something like this isn't supposed to happen. But it's nice having someone humor you.
Taking my hand in his he leads me down the corridor. Going to a boarding school it's hard to find a place of your own. A deserted classroom isn't exactly what one would call romantic. For now it will have to do, I suppose.
It's sweet, this side of Draco Malfoy. I haven't seen it before and I have to say I'm absolutely smitten with it. I want so much for this to be real. At times I pinch myself just to make sure. He laughs at me every time.
Planing a kiss on my forehead he tells me, "It's real."
A part of me is holding back. The honest truth is I wasn't prepared for this. Any of it. I like to know what I'm getting into and there's nothing wrong with that. What compels me to do this? Just a gut feeling, I suppose. Our pairing just defies all logic.
I don't know if this will work, but I hope it will. Is it really too much to ask for? Or is my hope that Harry will kill Voldemort and everything will be alright too much? Then maybe I'll get to walk with Draco in Hogsmeade holding hands. I can see it, I just don't know if it will happen.
Is it the desperate need for unconditional love? Yes, most definitely. And not just on his part.
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