Outsider

Today, the last day of eighth grade, is a half day then they're having a picnic and yearbook signing for the whole school. The thought of prolonging this day doesn't appeal to me at all, but here I am with the boys tossing the ball around. This day is undeniably something I have been looking forward to and not because it means I am finally going to high school, but instead that I will get a peaceful three months away from all the people – children – I despise.

School is the bane of my existence. I don't have but three friends to speak of; Edward, Emmett, and Jasper. All great people and I love them, but I am a girl so having only boy friends can be a pain sometimes; most of the time though it fits perfectly with me – the tomboy of the school.

I stick out like a sore thumb in my upper-middle class school in Jacksonville, Florida. I don't have dyed blonde hair, I don't wear makeup, I don't have trendy clothes, and I certainly don't care about any of it. I wear my reddish brown hair long and stick straight. I don't see the point in makeup, with my glasses you can't see my eyes anyways and when I play softball I sweat anything on my face off. I've always been smarter than the majority of the class and that hasn't seemed to help in the "fitting-in" department either. Everyone ignores me now, a major improvement from when we first moved to this god forsaken city.

Moving to Jacksonville from Forks, Washington at the beginning of junior high (sixth grade precisely) was not something I wanted. As far as I was concerned it wasn't something I needed either, but I had to go where my mother, Renee, went since my father had lost all custodial claim to me in their divorce three years earlier. Relocating at the age of twelve was devastating anyways and then coming into a school that immediately rejected any outsiders made my switch even harder than it would have been normally. I spent my first year in Jacksonville completely miserable. No friends and because I was treated like the dirt on the bottom of their shoes, I reluctantly stayed away from sports.

My entire sixth grade year is something I would like to forever forget; of course I know it shaped me for the future.

Before beginning seventh grade, I tried everything to talk my mother into letting me switch schools, be home schooled, drop out, anything to keep from going back. Not surprisingly it didn't work so I began my hell again. I remember that day like it happened yesterday…

---

"Hey Isabella…how about you give me all your lunch money." Tyler said as he shoved me in the lunch line.

"How about I don't." I said after collecting myself and rebalancing.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard her." A voice I had never heard before said from behind me. The sound of it froze me.

Tyler looked up, in fact everyone close by looked up. Apparently no one knew this mystery voice. I was the last to turn and find out who this was. My eyes caught sight of a taller than average boy. The stranger had bronze hair that was in total disarray and his green eyes were unbelievably bright. He still had some of his baby fat, but still looked older than the others in our grade. If I had been interested in boys, he probably would have been cute to me. Instead he just looked…different.

I stared in disbelief that someone would actually stand up for me, but he wasn't looking at me; he was staring at Tyler waiting on a rebuttal I imagined. Even if this boy didn't know who I was, and obviously he didn't since he was a new student, I still couldn't wrap my brain around someone standing up for me, protecting me.

"Who do you think you are?" Tyler asked.

"Someone who isn't going to let you pick on her." The mystery boy said.

I couldn't help myself, my mouth dropped open. The boy turned to me then smiled a crooked smile.

Did this kid seriously just smile at me? Only my family smiles at me. Is he an alien?

To my surprise though, Tyler didn't say anything, he just walked away. The boy laughed and then proceeded to step in line in front of me.

"Is it ok if I jump in front of you?" He asked me.

"Yes." I said then looked down at my feet. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Saving my lunch money." I said. He laughed. Laughed? I wasn't intentionally trying to be funny, but ok.

"You're funny."

"Uh ok." I said finally looking up at him. "Who are you?"

"Name's Edward Cullen. Just moved here from Chicago. Your name is Isabella, right?"

"Bella actually. Bella Swan."

"Ok Bella, nice to meet you."

"You too." I said smiling. After we got our food, I headed towards the corner where I typically sat to eat my lunch alone.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked.

"Uh…to eat lunch." I said looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"By yourself?"

"I always do."

"That's not right." He said and I shrugged my shoulders. "Come sit with us."

"I dunno…"

"Oh just come on." He said laughing again so I followed him. He was sitting with two other boys from my grade that I never spoke to. They never spoke to me. They looked at Edward with hideous faces. My stomach knotted and I immediately regretted getting food at all.

"Hey guys, Bella's gonna eat with us today." He said as we sat down.

"Hi." I squeaked out.

"Bella, this is Emmett McCartey and Jasper Hale." Edward introduced us. I nodded.

I knew who they were; I'd gone to school with them for an entire year already. Emmett was the brawny athletic type. Polo shirts and ripped jeans with grass stains; black curly hair and blue eyes. Jasper, another transfer student the same year I came, came from a rough spot in Texas somewhere. His mom moved to get him out of the temptation of gangs. Even in eighth grade, we all considered him one of our best athletes – Emmett being the other. They could play everything; basketball, football, baseball. Jasper's blonde hair was always a mess, looking like he just rolled out of bed and came to school. I hadn't noticed until now, that his eyes were a shade of blue as well. I should have assumed since he had blonde hair.

I sat in silence eating while they started their conversation about sports. I was listening but not joining in. They were discussing the upcoming baseball tryouts and the NFL season.

"I guess they expect Denver to go all the way this year." I said chiming in on their NFL conversation. They all just stared at me. "What?"

"Did you just randomly read that somewhere?" Emmett asked.

"No. I was watching ESPN the other night…" I said but trailed off when I realized their mouths were wide open. This time I laughed.

----

That day is the day I met my three best friends. I've joined in on their pick-up games in football, baseball, and basketball ever since then. Edward's lived across the hall from my mother and me since the day he moved here. Emmett and Jasper both live in big houses around the corner from our apartment complex. We're all different but inseparable.

That day not only got me my friends, but it was the turning point when the rest of our class went from picking on me to just ignoring me. I dealt with this. I was more than happy to ignore them right back.

Also it seemed that with friends, I found confidence and started standing up for myself when someone did get in my face. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've even visited the principal's office once or twice for inflicting pain on someone else.

Edward and I are definitely the closest in the group; we share everything with each other – more than with the other two. Our friendship has always been easy. It's my safe haven – he's my safe haven if I'm being honest.

"Jesus Bell…" Emmett laughed when I launched the baseball at him.

"C'mon Em, you gotta be ready." I laughed. Edward shook his head but didn't laugh.

"What?" I asked looking at him funny.

"Oh it's nothing." He said but in a tone I didn't recognize or like. I walked over to him.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing." He said with an attitude towards me.

"Whoa…yo…"I said laughing then shoved him gently.

"Are you ever gonna act like a damn girl?" He asked me out of the blue. "You're such a boy."

"…uh…" I said trying to come up with something to say to him, but I was speechless. My mind was blank. Emmett and Jasper were just standing there looking at Edward. I glanced at them, looked down at the ground, and then just walked away. Wow – I didn't see that one coming at all. I had to get away from their stares but had nowhere to go since the buses weren't there to pick us up yet. I finally found a spot on the side of the building away from the festivities and sat on the ground to wait.

Edward had never treated me like anything else but his friend, just another one of the guys – no pressure to be anything I'm not. I'm not a girlie girl. I can throw the ball harder and further than any of them, and I have been known to hit them on occasion – nothing hard though. I was used to them picking on me like they would a little sister but this time his words cut through my thick skin like a machete and it bothered me that I let him get to me almost as much as his words themselves.

In the past few months I have started noticing changes in me that I would rather not notice and they're definitely things I can't discuss with my friends. Could Edward have picked up on the fact that I was…growing up? Surely not. Even if he could, why should it matter to him? I'm still me after all.

And why do I care if someone thinks I should finally start acting my gender? I should be who I want to be, not what other people want me to be. But the most important question here is why all of a sudden do I care at all what Edward thinks about me and how I look and act? Sitting there thinking through all of this, I was suddenly interrupted with panic. Was he mad at me? Would he sit with me on the bus? Would he talk to me?

I got on our bus first and sat in the place we always sat. The boys got on not too long after I got settled in. Typically he sits with me. He sat two seats in front of me. Em and Jazz looked at me sympathetically but sat with Edward. I put my book bag in the empty place next to me that was usually occupied by a person and stared out the window. I didn't have to look at the people to know they were staring at me. I stood up before the bus came to a complete stop and walked past Edward without looking at him. I could feel him behind me but he stayed wordless all the way to our building. I was not looking at him first. I refused. He needed to apologize….right? Or is he 100% correct? I walked into my door without looking behind me at him. I started questioning what he had said and if…maybe just maybe…he had a point.

"Well hello sweetie." My mom said from the kitchen.

"Hi." I said obviously emotionless – too preoccupied with thoughts to express the anger and confusion in my head.

"Today is supposed to be joyful." She said walking out to the living room at the moment she saw my face she sat down next to me and side hugged me. "What's wrong honey?"

"I'm not really sure, Mom. Edward asked if I was ever going to act like a girl. It's got me all confused. I guess it might be time for me to…"

"Don't change yourself just because your friend…"

"I don't think I am. The more I think about it, the more I think I should ditch my baggy t-shirts and boy jeans for girlie things. Makeup and stuff…contacts. I'm starting high school in three months or so and maybe I do need to grow up." I said realizing Edward was right. He went about it the wrong way, but probably because he's a guy and doesn't know much finesse.

The more I thought about my impending make-over, the bigger my smile got. I was actually getting excited for it. My mom's smile got bigger as well. She is a girlie girl and even though she's never expressed it, I've always known she's been disappointed in my lack of excitement for everything feminine. She was honestly happy about being able to buy me new clothes, get my hair done, and show me the makeup routine, whatever this makeover thing all included. I knew I was looking at a long summer – but a good one, if I still had any friends after today that is.

First chapters are always slow...I sometimes wish you could jump right into the nitty gritty but then what would the rest of the story be? :-)