A/N: Hi! This is a very, very overdue update XD But here I am. This chapter's really, really short, it's around 860 words, but I'll be able to write lengthier parts when not focused on my other fanfic. Thanks for reading!

Part 1- Coping

1

I shut the door of my rented apartment and pressed my back against it, sliding down and letting out a breath as I did so.

Finally, some time alone.

I had been finding it increasingly hard to adjust, but I was slowly getting there.

It wasn't like I didn't miss home, though.

I curled myself into a ball, my nose touching the fabric of my grey skirt. I inhaled the scent of fresh, tailored nylon- clean, new and orderly. Even my clothes smelled so unlike me.

I got up and walked towards the small mirror at the end of the hall, staring at my face, and the insipid grey skirt and jacket of the Fittes uniform, the rearing silver unicorn stitched onto the pocket.

I was Lucy Carlyle, newest recruit of Quill Kipps' team, fired up, dynamic, ready to take on a fresh bunch of cases.

I hated it.

I hated everything about my new job. I hated the office, disliked my supervisor, despised my team, and the uniform, and the rules, and the code of honor, and there were times I even hated myself for what I did.

I wasn't happy. Sure, at Lockwood & Co., I'd been stressed, exhausted, angered and pushed to the point of cracking a few times. But for the most, I'd felt safe, I'd felt at home- I'd had two amazing friends who backed me up, and my Talent had grown so much- I was able to leave my past behind. For the most, I had been happy.

But not here.

Fittes was a place almost devoid of emotional connection, where everything had to be spot-on and to a certain level. There were no rule-breakers, risk-takers, people who wanted to try something different. People barely even smiled.

To make things a dozen times worse, I'd been stuck with Kipps' team.

But the part I really hated- one of the things that ranked high on my top-ten list of most hated things- was after finishing a case. We'd check if everything was safe, go back to the Headquarters, give a report on our case, and then I'd have to take a taxi home, sitting there in silence. I'd reach my apartment, enter, and make myself a cup of tea, drinking it on the couch, alone.

There was nobody to talk to me. I was by myself.

The silence nearly drove me insane.

There was no George to grumble about the lack of doughnuts, shifting around noisily. There was no Lockwood laughing and talking about the dullness of the case.

I found out, sitting in the violent quiet, that you never really miss something until it's gone. And I hadn't realized exactly how much I'd needed the company of my friends.

Sometimes I wondered why I'd done it, why I'd severed ties with the only people that still mattered to me. But then I remembered that I did it for them.

I looked back at my reflection. I could barely recognize myself. I didn't remember the last time I smiled, or laughed. I looked worn-out. I didn't look healthy. I didn't look happy.

I wasn't.

I shook my head, trying to discharge the thoughts that would only distress me further, and had a long, hot shower and changed into my pajamas. We'd just dealt with a Powerful Type-Two, and for once, I hadn't gotten any ectoplasm on my skirt. In Fittes, you had to be neat and prim. Getting any supernatural substance on you meant you immediately had to buy a new uniform. This was my third in a month!

I walked over to the balcony, a steaming mug of hot chocolate in my hand, leaning over the railing and staring into the dark night sky.

A week after joining Fittes, I'd wondered, what was the point?

What was the point of all this?

I knew I'd get used to my new job, but that was it. I'd only get used to it. I'd never enjoy it. I'd never relax into this life. I'd never be as free or as comfortable I'd felt in Lockwood & Co. I knew there was no way I'd ever call this place home.

I felt so alone in everything now.

I sipped at the hot chocolate, my cheeks tinted pink from the cold, gazing into outer space.

The twinkling stars in the sky were shining bright tonight, constantly, struggling to burn and repel the darkness, the hopelessness, with their silver-tinged glow. Everybody admires how pretty they look against that perfect blue-black backdrop. But they have to keep struggling to be seen, to burn on; and even so sometimes they get hidden by the clouds; even so, they're invisible in the daylight.

In many ways, I felt like those stars.

A/N: I'm too darn tired to reply to all the reviews, so I'll just say, thank you all so much. You've been great support, especially since I've been struggling with my emotions since last August. Thank you for all the reviews, and favs and follows, and for adding to the number of reads. You're all amazing, have a great day!

-Artemis