Xu Zhu In: Fat Burger

In the midst of the bustling Kingdom of Wei stood a small burger stand, operated by Xu Zhu. The first customer of the day, Guan Yu, approaches Xu Zhu at the front counter.

"Welcome to Fat Burger! How may I take your order?" Xu Zhu asks.

"Yes, I'll take your Fat Burger combo meal," Guan Yu says.

"Coming right up!" Xu Zhu says, turning around and heading into the kitchen.

Minutes later, Xu Zhu returns to the front counter, munching on Guan Yu's burger.

"H-Hey! What are you doing? Is that my burger you're eating?" Guan Yu asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Um…yep…tastes delicious! You should try one!" Xu Zhu responds in between bites.

"Now you look here, tubby, I want you to go back there and make me another burger this instant," Guan Yu warned him.

Xu Zhu swallows his burger and burps. "Okay! One more burger coming up!" Xu Zhu says, saluting before heading back into the kitchen.

Several minutes passes and Xu Zhu didn't return to the front counter.

"What's going on back there?" Guan Yu says, hopping over the counter to investigate.

Once in the back kitchen, Guan Yu saw Xu Zhu sitting on the floor, once again eating what was supposed to be Guan Yu's meal.

"What do you think you are doing? Give me my burger, now!" Guan Yu says, now angry at the faulty service he's been getting as he prepares to jump Xu Zhu.

"Uh oh!" Xu Zhu yelps as he rolls out of the way and began running outside and around the burger stand while Guan Yu gave chase, swinging his Blue Dragon spear all the while.

An hour later after Guan Yu had gave up chasing the abnormally agile Xu Zhu, Xu Zhu walks back inside his burger stand heaving and sweating like a track star in heat and sees another customer waiting at the main counter.

It was Sima Yi.

"Welcome to Fat Burger! How may I take your order?" Xu Zhu asks, still trying to catch his breath.

"Well it took you long enough, I'm a busy man, you know? Anyways, if this dump serves garden salads, I'll take that," Sima Yi says in his usual snarky tone.

"Uh…we don't serve salads here because salads are for wimps!" Xu Zhu says.

"Salads are for wimps? Are you calling me a wimp you fat oaf?" Sima Yi says, now getting disgruntles.

"Fat oaf? I can handle being called 'tubby', but 'fat oaf'? Now that's just mean!" Xu Zhu protestes.

"Never mind…talking to you is like talking to a rock," Sima Yi says, turning to leave, muttering 'stupid fat bastard' under his breath.

As soon as Sima Yi was half-way down the street…

CRACK!

…Xu Zhu appeared out of nowhere and clotheslines Sima Yi, causing the Wei strategist to fall onto the ground in a complete daze.

"Hmph! Serves you right, Mr. Wimpy Salad Man," Xu Zhu says, returning to his burger stand once more.

Meng Huo In: The Nanman King vs George of the Jungle

Meng Huo was sitting in his castle eating a large roasted beast-leg when his wife Zhu Rong enters the room looking very annoyed.

"Meng Huo! That pesky neighbor of ours is making a racket again! Do something!" Zhu Rong tells her husband

"What?! You mean that crazy George of the Jungle guy? I'll take care of him, honey," Meng Huo says. "Right after I finish my lunch," he adds at the last minute.

Zhu Rong immediately proceeds to grab her husband and toss him out of the castle so that he could take care of the problem now.

Once outside, Meng Huo sees George of the Jungle high on a tree branch ready to swing around on a vine.

"Hey George! George of the Jungle! You're beginning to annoy me!" Meng Huo yells out to him.

"AAAAAAAH!" George of the Jungle yells as he swings off of the branch, not hearing Meng Huo.

"H-Hey! Watch out for that…" Meng Huo warns him, but it was to late.

CRASH!

"…tree…" he says, after witnessing his neighbor collide stupidly into a large tree.

It wasn't long after George of the Jungle recovers from his accident, that he climbed back up the tree to attempt the jungle swing again.

"Oh no you don't!" Meng Huo says, as he immediately ran toward the same towering tree his neighboring was climbing upon and began climbing up himself.

Just as soon as Meng Huo reached the top, George of the Jungle leaps away from the tree using a vine to swing around on.

"Get back here!" Meng Huo calls out, grabbing a hanging vine as well and swung after him.

Both men were swinging through the jungle, with Meng Huo slowly closing in on his neighbor. Just as he Nanman King was about to snag him, George of the Jungle swung off to the side, causing Meng Huo to swing straight toward a towering stone monument.

"OH NO!" Meng Huo yells…

SLAM!

…as he collides into the large stone monument hard enough to causing it to tip over and crash onto his castle, destroying it completely.

"MEEEEENG!" his wife Zhu Rong yells angrily as she crawls out of the rubble that was once their castle.

"CURSE YOU GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE!" Meng Huo yells out in frustration. "I'LL GET YOU YET!"

Continue on to the next chapter!