Whatever It Takes
Chapter 2
It was nearly ten at night; the train was preparing to pull out when a rather red faced Marshal Dillon ducked his tall frame and entered the train car in search of Doc Adams. On the move since hearing of the apparent crisis in Kitty's life, Matt was sweating as he took his overcoat off and threw it on the seat across from Doc. The physician nearly exploded at the sight of the bleary-eyed Marshal.
"What in thunder are you doin' here Matt? Where do you think you're goin'?" Doc squinted his eyes and grumbled loudly. "That damn Festus...can't keep is mouth shut!"
"No Doc, it wasn't Festus. Not this time, at least." Matt smiled wearily as he took a seat. "It was Barney. He just figured I'd be goin' with ya. For a change, I'm glad he shared the information meant for someone else. Real glad." He patted Doc on the knee and looked him in the eye and winked.
"How am I gonna explain your being with me? I promised I'd keep her whereabouts a secret!" He shook his head as he rubbing his mouth as he stared at the floor.
"Don't tell her anything, Doc. I'll take the responsibility for my being there. Besides, I don't even know if she'll see me, but I need to see her." Matt gazed out the train window into the blackness of the night. "I need her, Doc."
"Son, ya know it is none of my business, but Kitty and you mean a lot to me. She was hurtin' when she left and you were the cause. I've forgiven you Matt, but what I don't understand is your acting the past year as if she never existed."
Matt looked at Doc in disbelief and was at a loss for words. He never realized until that moment that he avoided discussion of Kitty during his conversations. It was for self preservation; over the past year the mention of her name was like salt on a wound. Hearing her name made his heart blister from the loss. He very seldom laid open his feelings, unfortunately even to Kitty. Suddenly Matt felt sick. All the pain and loneliness he'd suppressed for nearly a year welled up in his gut which was now tied in a knot. Matt remained quiet, his elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands.
"Doc what have I done?" Matt lamented, "What am I gonna do?"
Doc's reaction was fatherly in tone. "Matthew, we're gonna have some time together here stuck on this train, so why don't ya try, by talkin' to me. Maybe if you can bring yourself to explain things to me, it won't be so hard telling Kitty."
"Doc, I need to show you something." He reached in his shirt pocket, pulled out a tiny blue velvet sack. "I 've never shown this to anyone. I was gonna give it to Kitty on her birthday last year."
Matt gently fumbled with the bag. His big fingers just didn't want to work so Doc put his hand out in an offer to help. Carefully Doc pulled a tattered blue ribbon from the bag. Tied to the ribbon was a key and a delicate silver filigree sapphire ring.
"I was gonna ask her to marry me, Doc, on her birthday. An' I shot that all to hell."
The doctor looked at the marshal proudly. "That's a right pretty ring, Matt." Then his eyes got misty. "You picked this 'cause it is the color of her eyes, didn't ya?"
Puzzled he then inquired about the key. That bashful boyish grin played across Matt's rugged face which turned three shades of pink. As he relinquished a sigh, he explained that it was the key to Kitty's quarters at the Long Branch and something near and dear to his heart.
As Matt began to speak his eyes welled up, but no tears fell. "I've kept this key on me since the day Kitty gave it to me. I guess I keep it close to remind me that there was a place where I actually could relax and feel safe," he chuckled without humor, almost like a boy in the comfort of his own bed. The ring Doc, is a constant reminder of what a fool I've been." Again Matt looked out the window of the train, afraid Doc Adams might see a weakness in him that his pained soul would reveal. "I was hoping to put another key on that ribbon; a key to a place I bought for Kitty. A house on the edge of town for the both of us. Kitty has been on my mind for what seems like every minute of every day since she left Dodge." He clutched the ribboned treasures in his fist and closed his eyes. "She is with me all the time, Doc. I need to say things I should'a said to her years ago. Maybe I'm being selfish again by needing to tell her things that she wanted to hear from me a long time ago. Why should she take me back after years of disappointments?"
This was going to be an emotional journey Doc though, as he pulled a flask of whiskey out of his jacket. It wasn't until they arrived in San Antonio to switch trains that they realized they had talked all through the night. Doc, yawning and stretching his arms suggested they get some shuteye on their final leg to New Orleans. He wasn't sure what condition they were going to find Kitty in, so they needed to be rested. Sleep evaded Matt though he dozed off lightly. The thought of seeing Kitty again scared the sleep out of him while exhilarating his memories.