A/N - SORRY THIS IS REALLY SHORT, I'M QUITE ILL AT THE MOMENT AND RAN OUT OF IDEAS HALF WAY THROUGH AND I'M SORRY :'((( PM ME IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, I'D REALLY LIKE SOME OTHER PERSPECTIVES, HERE HAVE A STUPIDLY SHORT CHAPTER
Steve flailed in his sleep, dreaming, although more horrific than his usual dreams of Tony. He groaned seeing the older man, Howard Stark, Tony's father, push him against a wall talking that "sweet talk" Bucky always told Steve to try with the ladies. "Come on Sugar, you know you'll like it" Howard whispered into the pre-serum Steve's ear, making the young man squirm trying to resist Howard's rough advances. "Come one babypie, give Howard a kiss" he jeered, twisting Steve's neck and forcing his lips onto Steve's. The pictures in the Super Soldier's head then moved, seeing Bucky fall, Peggy kiss him, a real kiss, not like Howards… Then ice, cold, and the dark. Suddenly he heard a mechanical voice 'Sir- Captain Rodgers. I am calling Tony, you see distressed' but Steve couldn't plead with the voice, nor could he escape the feeling of being immobilised and trapped in ice. It was not long until Tony barged through Steve's door, looking at the blonde haired man squirm and flail in the bed, sheets strewn across the floor, and the Super-Soldier pulling at the duvet as if he was attempting to escape. Tony had no idea what to do for a long long moment, and merely stood watching Steve's terror before he heard Steve moan "Howard, no!" It was that, that intense hatred of his father that spurred Tony into action, telling DUM-E to get Steve water and sitting at his bed-side. Grabbing the blondes much larger hand and telling him to wake up over and over, eventually resorting to pouring water over Steve, which did wake him, but given Steve's intense fear of being trapped in ice, did nothing to help the situation.
"WHAT- WHAT THE-" Steve cried, eyes shooting open and seeing the mess he had made before noticing Tony sat at his side, still holding his hand, despite Tony's dislike of physical contact unless with a cute girl. "You were freaking out; I had to wake you up somehow." Tony said reassuringly, letting go of Steve's hand before the Super-Soldier could notice. Steve flopped back in bed, wiping the water off his face and pulling on a shirt. "I thought- Never mind." Steve groaned "JARVIS what's the time?"
'7:03 am Captain Rodgers.' The AI replied, as Steve pulled on some trousers and looked at Tony.
"Thank you for waking me up, just don't with water next time." Steve smiled slightly, looking at him, "I ugh, I did look at the search you gave 'Google', it was- interesting." He started to blush, thinking he said too much, relieved as Tony replied voice full of sarcasm.
"Google, it's not a person Steve… I'mma goes get back to work I'm sure you've got some Soldier stuff to do or something." Tony replied, rolling his eyes as he leaves, thinking to himself, so he liked the sex stuff huh, I wonder why he said How- No… You are not gonna think about that, go bash some metal, and drink, yeah, get real drunk.
Tony hadn't seen much of Steve since that morning and Tony was thankful for this, as he was able to focus on his work on Mark IX but there was something's else, a sadness had washed over the Billionaire. He missed Steve, he ached for Steve, and his stupid questions of technology and his confusion over JARVIS, and this finally brought him to the decision of confrontation.
"You frozen again Capsickle, only we haven't seen your sorry ass for a while" he said with sarcasm in his voice as he spotted Steve in the gym doing weights far beyond anything Tony could lift without the suit.
"No I've been training. Like you should."
Tony laughed in reply, not needing to push Cap more watching him put down the weight.
"Thank you... for the other week. I- I know it was an inappropriate q- I shouldn't Have"
"Lighten up Spangles. It's just sex, so... why'd you wanna know?"
Steve swallowed hard at this question, he was not prepared to tell the Iron Man how he had been the centre of his dreams since the Chitauri incident, or to tell him that it was similar feelings he had for Bucky, and Howard, or just how much he longed to see Tony's taught muscles and what is beyond his clothes.
Steve licked his lips and mumbled "Curiousity" but Tony knew it was more, he wasn't blind and the shade of red Steve had turned revealed all.
"You have a crush, don't ya Spangles, is it Thor Mmmm imagine how big that-"
"Shut up!" Steve barked, frustrated with Tony's treatment of sex, having been told all by Natasha after quietly enquiring on just why the playboy was so flippant.
"Aww lighten up, tell Tony who it is, you know I'll find out anyway."
"Just SHUT UP! Stark! Without the money, without the suit you're nothing and you never will be, you're just a small man trying to live up to Howard, well guess what Antony, you're JUST like him!" Steve screamed in complete frustration, dropping the weights and storming out.
Steve stared at the ceiling, hands on his stomach as he silently played every encounter he had had with the Iron Man through his mind, seemingly ignoring the smashing of glasses and alarms starting roughly an hour from what could be their final conversation.
Clint finally made Steve notice the chaos around him. Clint had fired an arrow at Steve to alert him, Bruce leaning over what appeared to be the unconscious body of Tony Stark. Natasha phoned people as Thor held things for Bruce who was reconnecting Tony's arc-reactor as Steve stood helplessly full of guilt. He had killed Tony Stark. The mere thought made him throw up in the sink.
"I- is he- oh God" Steve stumbled as he recovered, Clint now beside Tony, doing the intricate work that Bruce could not. It was Thor who answered, in a matter of fact way, which unnerved the Soldier. "The metal man removed his heart. He was out for 20 minutes. The green creature is unsure of his ability to recover. Captain, do you know why he acted this way?" Thor was direct in his words, and hand on Steve's back as he threw up again.
"Yeah. I'm why." Steve muttered only Thor and Hawkeye hearing both of their looks dramatic enough for the others to notice.
"We fought... I- said... he'd never be worth anything, that he was just like Howard" and with that Steve ran from the tower like a coward.
It was Natasha found the Super-Soldier, but waited to approach, eventually finding the moment as Steve stared at a monument to the lives lost in the Chitauri incident. "Tony will be fine. Clint knows." She whispered, Steve looking up briefly.
" I made him kill himself. I am not fit to be a hero. Go home Natasha."
She grinned in reply and placed a hand on the Cap's muscled arm. "I used to think that- which I wasn't fit to live. Clint Barton changed that. Tell him your feelings Steve." He tensed. "I know Steven. I'm a spy remember."
"How- how would I tell him? You can't just say, 'Oh by the way Tony, I was just frustrated oh yeah, your father raped me and now I think I love you.' Steve asked genuinely not knowing what to do, Natasha stepping back, having been told the full details.
"You come home." She smiled after a long silence, taking the Super-Soldier tale of how Howard destroyed him, squeezing his arm before leaving "You'll figure it out, I know you will."