ACT 1, Scene 2

Verona, Benny's house.

Enter Benny.

Benny: I am so lonesome here, in my house by myself. Romeo wants me to go out and find a girlfriend, but the thing is, I'm actually secretly gay...

Enter Mercutio.

Benny: Oh, hey there Mercutio! I didn't see you there...

Mercutio: I just returned from my walk with Romeo... We were hitting on some girls.

Benny: Oh. Was it fun?

Mercutio: Not for me, they both rejected me and Juliet called me a fag...

Benny: Oh, how dreadful! How could such a young and proper lady use such vulgar language?

Mercutio: That's exactly what I said!

Benny: Come here, friend, I will help make the painful memories go away.

Mercutio: I do not seem to understand what you are saying...

Benny: I mean I will listen to your problems... jeez, you thought I was gonna fuck you or something?

Mercutio: Actually yes. I was actually ok with that, too...

Benny: REALLY?

Mercutio: Yeah. I'm bi, you didn't know that?

Benny: No...

Mercutio: What was with your enthusiasm there?

Benny: Well, I was ok with that too...

Mercutio: You are bi?

Benny: No, I'm gay.

Mercutio: Oh. I'm ok with that.

Benny: I know you are.

Mercutio: Let's have sex.

Benny: You are reading my mind!

Mercutio: That's cause I'm psychic!

Benny: Whoa! That's so cool!

Mercutio: Yeah, I know. But let's just have that sex now!

Benny: You're on!

Mercutio: Who goes on top?

Benny: We should take turns.

Mercutio: Ok. Do you have condoms?

Benny: Why would we need those?

Mercutio: Well there's no chance of pregnancy, but I don't know who you've slept with, and you might have STDs... no offense.

Benny: It's fine, I'm a virgin!

Mercutio: Wow, that's sad. No wonder you are gay. I know none of the people I slept with had STDs, so I GUESS we can do this without condoms.

Benny: Yay! Unprotected sex!

Mercutio: I start on top, since this is your first time.

Benny, hold on, let me get my lube.

Mercutio: Good idea.

Benny goes to get his lube.

Benny: Ok, let's do this already!

Mercutio: Yes!

Benny and Mercutio start undressing each other and go into Benny's bed...

EXUNT