CHAPTER 1

Disclaimer: After many hours of hard work, and much research, I've come to the conclusion that I would have a molecular chance of owning Naruto if the irresistible force meets the immovable object. However, this would only take place in an alternative universe and by my calculations, I will never own Naruto in this dimension. Perhaps if I can make something from nothing, a chakra prototype to be worked into , and maybe a fully functional prosthetic limb? I better get on that. Oh yeah, I don't own the actual holy book of log. I will be using a few excerpts I found on the facebook page. If you haven't seen it, go check it out. Respective contributions to their rightful owner.

As Naruto walked the sidewalk to the academy, he was not as naive to not see the parents telling their students to stay away from them. 'So much for having friends' Naruto thought with a sigh. He really hated the fourth hokage sometimes, why did he have to seal such a beast in him huh? Indeed, through Naruto's studies, the fourth hokage saw fit to tell Naruto the 'truth' about that night, although he still kept many secrets from him, and Naruto was aware. As Naruto entered the class, he noticed he awas the first to enter, and as such, got to pick his seat. He chose a seat near the window with a large amount of natural light going in. The boy reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the book his grandfather gave him, and flipped it open. As he thumbed through the first few pages, he found himself quite engrossed in the book. before he knew it, it was midday and the teacher had called on him to answer a question.

"What was the religion of the first hokage Naruto?" the sensei asked

"We haven't taught them that yet Mizuki!" Another teacher added quite frustratedly

"It's fine Iruka, he wasn't paying attention anyways, so it doesn't matter" The now named Mizuki told Iruka with a smirk.

"The First hokage's religion? He was a worshipper of the log, a high priest of log, eventually the log pope, and most importantly he was the first documenter of the Holy log, and author of this book. He firmly believed his mokuton was a gift from the holy log, but the doctors and scientists said that it was just a mutation in his blood." Naruto said, with a smile the whole way

All the while, both Iruka and mizuki were furiously flipping through the text books. "That's… Correct Naruto! Good job!" Mizuki said with no small amount of hidden contempt.

"No way that dobe got it!" a random student yelled, and the uproar started. Naruto began to sink farther and farther into his seat, growing more depressed by the moment. Surprisingly, his moment of salvation came from the most unexpected of places.

As the students continued the uproar, just as the teachers were about to step in, One student asked the most popular class his thoughts on the subject "Ha how stupid is that baka, huh Sasuke?" Sakura asked, nudging him.

"He answered the question didn't he? that's more than I can say for you." Sasuke responded

You could hear a pin drop at hearing the most unsocial boy in class, and the most popular boy in school, compliment the loser. As the uproar was about to start back up, The teacher, Iruka, stepped back in and continued to teach.

As class ended, Naruto waited until after class to leave the room, and noticed the only other two students left were Shikamaru, who was sleeping, and sasuke, who was sitting in the corner opposite him. Naruto approached Sasuke, meaning to thank him for defending him today. "Hey, Sasuke was it? Thanks for helping me out today, but why did you do it?"

"Hn. I've seen how the villagers treat you, while I'm treated like royalty. You're worse than dirt, while I'm seen as more important than the hokage." answered Sasuke, as if that explained everything.

Apparently it did "Thanks Sasuke, friends?" Naruto held out his hand in a fist, while Sasuke hesitated.

Slowly the Uchiha conceded, and reached his hand out to bump Naruto's own. "Sure" Sasuke said simply

On the inside, Naruto was ecstatic, however on the outside, he only allowed himself a small smile. "Let's start with introductions, ok?" he said

"What do you want to know?" Sasuke asked awkwardly, clearly not having many friends before

Naruto, who understood Sasuke's Awkwardness, helped him out. "How about your likes, dislikes, and maybe dreams as well."

"Well, I absolutely LOVE tomatoes, and although many don't know it, I like pickles, huge, juicy pickles. You know, the ones that squirt when you grab them?"*

"WHAAAAAT" Naruto interrupted "Sorry Sasuke, didn't know you played for the other team, but it's ok with me! I hope we can still be friends! just not more than that." he muttered the last part

Sasuke sat quietly for a while, wondering what he was freaked out about. after a few seconds, he finally understood, and his face flushed redder than any tomato he'd ever seen. "Not THOSE pickles! I am certain I'm straight, and the only possible way I could be gay is if some sick fangirl god made that happen!"

"Two things! first of all, I sure hope you're tellin the truth! second of all, how DARE you make out as if there were another god! are you unfaithful to the log?! how dare you?! The log will save your life time and time again as a ninja! and you dare disrespect it?!" Naruto ranted "Ok, go on with your introduction"

"Hn. Okay, as I was saying, I like tomatoes, my family, although they are no longer with us, and the fact that we can be friends. I hate my fangirls, some of them have potential and they refuse to see it! Anyways, I also hate my 'brother'" he said with a sneer "I hope I can one day avenge my clan and then rebuild it with a capable kunoichi, not some fangirl, Your turn"

"Okay, for starters I like my precious people, and would protect them with my life. Your one of the lucky few now Sasuke, so remember that!" Naruto said with a goofy grin "I also like ramen and hate the time it takes to cool! I hate that some people can't tell the difference between a scroll and a kunai. I, however, do NOT hate the people themselves" The jinchuuriki saw sasuke grow confused, so he elaborated "I might tell you later sasuke, it's a touchy topic. anyways, My dream for the future is to be hokage, and also the new log pope!"

"You keep talking about this 'log', but what is it?"

"You don't know of the log?!" he asked incredulously, seemingly forgetting he himself only learned of the log's almighty grace today. "Don't worry, I will teach you everything you need to know. Here is a holy excerpt from the holy scripture of holy proportions. This dictates the holy commandments that you must always abide by with utmost holy care.

One: Thou shalt never hurt a Log purposely.

Two: Thou shalt take care of the Log and the Log shalt take care of thee.

Three: Every 365 Moon Cycles thou shalt make a crusade to the Great Tree and make an offering so the Log will prosper.

Four: When thou commits heresy thou will be transformed to a disgraced Log and will burn Eternally in the unholy fires of Hell.

Five: When thou has died and lived the ways of the Log dutifully thou shalt take place in the afterlife in the Forest of Life."

All the while, you could hear Sasuke scribbling notes in the background and crying gently. "I'm a terrible person! How could I have been so ignorant for that long a time? I'm going to burn in Hell for all eternity! I deserve it too!" he balled.

Slowly Naruto approached him with a disarming gaze and firmly embraced him in a bro hug, and told his new friend and convert calmly "Relax Sasuke, the log is very understanding. Offer it your deepest apologies and regrets and the log will forgive you."

Sasuke, hearing what his friend had to say, began to calm down. He was beginning to truly realize the greatness of the log. "I understand, now let me say a quick prayer thanking the log for everything." and with that, he knelt down and bowed his head, offering a prayer of thanks and begging for forgiveness.

"Thank you Naruto, is there anyway I can get my hands on a book of scripture?"

"I'll see what I can do Sasuke, I'll see what I can do." The log worshipper replied as the two walked off towards Ichiraku ramen.

So sorry about this chapter! It's not even like I took a long time to write a long chapter, this chapter is extremely short. I do, however, have an excuse. (It's up to you to decide if it's worth it or not (I personally believe it is not an acceptable excuse)) The file corrupted as soon as I was about done. I completely lost motivation for a good while. Posted this today because it's the last day of school and it's saved on a school computer. I realize that there are a metric shit ton (exactly 204.62262 more pounds than a normal shit ton) of mistakes, however I felt that I should post this chapter before I lost it. AGAIN. Thanks for reading, comment and subscribe please! As an afterthought, The one comment I DID get got me going again.

!IMPORTANT QUESTION ALERT!

Should I start writing Shinigami's gift again? People are still subscribing.

On another, happier note (Kind of!) I've recently gotten up to date on the single BEST Naruto FF ever, (the author is the one who inspired this story!(Don't let my shitty writing discourage you, he is a hell of a lot better than me.) The story is Yet Again with a little extra help by The Third Fang. The guys a legend, he broke the fabled one million words mark before he even finished the story! And that was just the first one, the sequel, 'Take two round two' is already over 200k words! Did I forget to mention he's still updating with huge chapters? Albeit rather slowly, but there still there. Some of the highest quality English syntax and spelling as well! I have nothing but praise for him, He is now my favorite FF author to date. KyuubiGoku being a close second. Be warned however, If you read his writing, you may find it hard to get hooked on one of the normal (shitty) stories on this site! Including mine. Waaaaah! Seriously though, I'm not kidding about finding it hard to get hooked on another FF after him.