"Pinky, guess what I'm allergic to?"

"Walnuts."

"Other than that."

"Unicorns."

"Seriously, guess. I didn't go near a walnut, but I have these splotchy red things on my skin. I have no idea what caused it." Perry showed Pinky his hand. It was missing a small patch of fur.

"Eew. Get it away from me. It made your fur fall off?"

"No, it itched, so I scratched my fur off."

"That's disgusting. You're sure it's not walnut-related?"

"Yep." Perry rubbed his back against the wall. Fur drifted onto the floor.

Monogram entered at that moment. "Great, platypuses shed too."

"They took the tacos AND the apple pie off of the lunch menu." Pinky told Perry.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out."

"Glad I caught you two." Monogram said. "Promotions are right around the corner. Of course, being promoted just means we raise your salary. But I just wanted to remind you that you need to send in your papers to Carl before we can promote you."

Perry gave Monogram a thumbs-up and continued to scratch his back.

Monogram shook his head. "I told you to be careful when you destroyed Doofenshmirtz's itch-inator."

"Perhaps that's the problem." Perry said to Pinky.

"Could be."

"Reckless agent." Monogram mumbled. He turned and strode out of the room.

Perry stopped scratching.

"He's in a bad mood." Pinky said. "He's acting like this with everyone. It's not personal."

"I keep slipping up."

"Everyone slips up."

Perry sighed. "Not Agent B. Not Agent E."

"Yeah, but they're CREEPY."

Agent E glared at Pinky as he walked past.

Pinky froze. "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

"Not anymore. Hey, you know what sounds good right now? Cucumbers and mango glop."

"You're never gonna give me a break from that, are you?"

"Nope. Maybe we can hit Breathing School afterward and play human dominoes."

"You always make fun of me when you're stressed." Pinky said.

"Can you blame me for freaking out? Monogram used the words 'promotion' and 'reckless' in the same sentence!"

"So…"

"SO, if he thinks my performance stinks, then guess who's not getting promoted?"

"I see. Don't freak out, though. Monogram loves you. You're his favorite. He'll give you your pay raise."

"Sure he will." Perry muttered.

His phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hi!" Said Palmer.

"Everything okay?"
"Yeah. What, you just assume I called you because of a stupid emergency?"

"Well, you don't call me very often."

"Okay. Can you come over?"

"Why?"
"Because mommy's trying to put up a new shelf and I think she needs help."

"Your mommy's a grump."

"No, no she's not."

"Yes she is. She was all cheerful before she had you. Imagine what she's going to be like after this next one hatches."

"She's not grumpy now. Making a new room for King Penguin Epic Man is making her really happy."

"…King penguin what-sey man?"

"It's what I'm naming the new baby. Because I like penguins, and King is the name of my kitty friend who lives down the street, and Epic Man just sounds all superheroish."

"What if it's a girl?"

"Then I'll change it to King Penguin Epic Woman. I'm kind of hoping it's a boy. Epic Woman doesn't have the same ring to it."

"Okay. Well, I'll come over there in a couple days. I can't do it right now."

"Okay."

"Take good care of King waba-sneka something."

"Bye!"

"Bye." Perry hung up and looked at Pinky. "You heard that, right? It wasn't just me?"

"King Penguin Epic Man." Pinky repeated.

"I told you not to pat Palmer's egg on the head. I think it kind of damaged him."

Perry stared at Isabella.

Isabella stared at Perry.

Isabella had come over to spend some time with Phineas. Phineas had gone upstairs to get his project book to show Isabella.

Perry was sitting next to her on the couch.

"Do you do anything?" Isabella finally asked.

Perry blinked.

Isabella patted Perry on the head.

Perry drooled on the floor.

"Gross." Isabella took her hand away.

Phineas finally appeared and sat down between them. "So this is the stuff that Ferb and I were gonna do this week. We had to postpone a lot of it, but maybe you can help."

"Where is Ferb, anyway?" Isabella asked.

"Out." Phineas said quickly.

"Out where?"

"Just… out." Phineas started flipping through the pages of his book. "We could build an ice rink."

"Or we could just go to a movie." Isabella said, beaming at him. "You know, spend some time together…"

Perry normally didn't mind when Isabella flirted with Phineas, but now it annoyed him. Ferb was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be helping Phineas figure out the daily project.

Perry climbed onto Isabella's lap and began to drool.

"Ew!" Isabella jumped.

Perry chattered.

"Perry!" Phineas scolded. He picked Perry up and tossed him outside, locking the screen door.

Perry stood on two legs and put his front paws against the glass. "EXILE! EXILE!"

Phineas sat back down on the couch and continued going through his project book.

Perry trotted away from the house. He had better things to do, anyway. Like plot the downfall of Carlos the caring clown.

There had to be SOME way to get rid of him. But how? The blender, toilet, microwave and garbage disposal hadn't worked.

He would need a new plan.

Perry put a towel into his box.

"What's that for?" Pinky the Chihuahua asked. He had followed Perry into his lair.

"It's for my memory box."

"I know that. What is it going IN the memory box for?"

"Do you know what happened on this very towel?" Perry asked, holding it up so Pinky could see. It was yellow with a picture of a surfing cow on it.

"No."

"On this towel, I slept. And I had my very first black-and-white dream!"

"So… your dream wasn't in color?"

"No. And it was really cool. You see, I was on this train. And it was going somewhere- I forget where- but there was this zebra on the train who called me Kevin and then the train was going into this big tunnel and then there were doughnuts everywhere and I woke up and had this huge craving for glazed doughnuts."

"So now the towel goes in your box?"

"Yep." Perry put it back in the box. "Oh no. I can't find Mr. Stitch." He started digging around.

"Mr. Stitch isn't sanitary." Pinky said.

"There he is." Perry pulled out a thin black string from the box. He stuck it in a plastic baggie and put it back in. "Just so he doesn't get lost."

"Ever consider putting that moldy old sandwich-"

"Steve."

Pinky sighed. "Right. STEVE. Ever consider putting him in a baggie?"

"Why? I can always find him."
"Maybe he won't get so moldy that way."

"I'm pretty sure Steve IS mold. I don't see any sandwich left." Perry pulled a sandwich out of the box and examined it. "Wait… I KIND of see a little bit of bread."

"EEW." Pinky hid his face. "Please. Put that thing back in the box."

"You hurt Steve's feelings." Perry put Steve in the box.

"It's a SANDWICH."

"Agent P!" Ernest the eagle called, coming out of the lair's elevator.

Both Pinky and Perry turned.

"No, no. The younger Agent P. I need to speak with you."

"Me?" Perry asked.

"There seems to be an issue with your promotion." Agent E pulled out a few papers from his fur pocket.

"I knew it."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Agent E started looking over one of the papers. "All right. It says here that your field work is fine, but you don't really have any… extra talents listed."

"I can make corny jokes. There's this one about this guy who had carrots in his ears…"

"I've heard that one." Agent E interrupted.

"Remember that time when you and Brandon tried to arrest me? And I handcuffed you two together? That falls in the 'awesome reflex' talent category."

"Focus. You don't have a universal driver's license…"

"Thank goodness." Pinky muttered. Perry kicked him.

"You don't play an instrument…"

"Guitar." Perry said. "Sometimes bass."

"Well, you should have listed that when you submitted your form." Agent E said coldly.

"I didn't think my guitar playing had anything to do with my work."

"It doesn't, but the Major can only pay a few agents annually. You ever heard of kids not getting into colleges because they had no extra activities? If you don't have anything extra to add, you won't be promoted. I'm sorry."

"Want me to scribble down some talents on there for you?"

"I'm sorry. It's too late now. Maybe next year you'll be able to meet the requirements." Agent E turned and strode out of the room.

"Great." Perry scowled. "I suppose they've promoted some animal that can fight AND play the tuba while flipping pancakes. What is that all about? I work harder than anyone here."

"I'm sorry." Pinky said.

"Why is everyone sorry? It's not THEIR fault. It's the fault of this stupid agency and its stupid rules. I work my tail off. I even put in extra hours. I neglect to write 'I play the guitar and tell stupid jokes' on my form and they just turn around and give someone else a promotion?"
"If anyone deserves a promotion, it's you." Pinky said.

"Well, I didn't get one. So let's just drop the whole thing."

"Don't be upset. It's not your fault."

"I'm not upset, Pinky."

"Then why are you pressing your hands together? You don't do that unless you're upset."
Perry sighed and turned away.

"Can I do anything?" Pinky asked. "To make you feel better, I mean."

"No. Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"You look destroyed."

"I'm FINE."

"Okay then. Just let me know."

"Whatever."

Pinky looked in the memory box. "Why is there a plastic eye in here?"

"What plastic eye?"

"This one."

"Oh, that's not plastic."