(Dreaming of You)
TOMOE! His head jerked up and he gasped in shock, beads of cold sweat on his forehead. Still shocked, he wiped his forehead free of the sweat and stretched his back, looking around at the forested area around him. No wait… forested area? He frowned as he wondered what he was doing in the middle of a forest instead of Kaoru-dono's dojo.
Oh yeah, he thought, remembering. Shishio Makato… He winced slightly as he remembered the night he had left Tokyo. Kaoru-dono had been a nice girl. Maybe she might even teach him that of which he had lost so many years ago. Maybe… but she could not really blame him for leaving her. He was, after all, a rurouni, wandering around to atone for his past… His past… Pain coursed through his heart as he thought about his past and the dream. And at the truth of it…
I will not think about it! he thought fiercely, but knew it was no use. Images of the way she walked, the way she talked, the way she everything… they all drifted through his mind like some those horrible memories that just could not be erased from the mind eye, no matter how hard you tried. He sighed and thought about something else. Anything to keep the image of falling snow and the scent of haku bai kou out of his mind. He had only left the Dojo last night, after which he had met Saito Hajime. The scene replayed itself in his mind, but he shook the image of the wolfish grin playing on the lips of the Mibu's wolf out of his mind. God, if everything he thought about bothered him he would go insane!
Yet another image popped into his mind, this time of a girl who fascinated him with her naivety, the open way she carried herself, the honesty in her wide azure eyes… he sighed. This was not the first time he felt like he was falling for some one willing to offer him their hospitality, which was why he wanted to leave before it was too late, just like with the other girls… He could not and would not allow an innocent girl to be affected by his bloody past. Not if he could help it.
Sighing, he shifted his position slightly and closed his eyes, trying to get sufficient sleep for the journey ahead of him.
Doshite? Doshite? Oh, kami-sama, why did he have to leave?
A thin ribbon of silvery moonlight slipped in through the partially closed door and onto her cheek, making her crystalline tears glisten in the faint gentle glow. The night was completely silent spare the cricking of some nocturnal animal, a sheet of noiseless darkness thrown over the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu Dojo, punctuated only by the soft, barely-audible sobbing of the owner of the Dojo; Kamiya Kaoru.
"Ima made arigatou soshite…"
Oh god it hurt. It hurt so much when he said that line. That line she could never forget. A refrain in her mind, always replaying itself over and over again in her mind, no matter how much she wanted it to stop. How her mind cried out with every word spoken, his voice echoing endlessly in her ears…
"Soshite…"
"Soshite sayonara."
---
Doshite - why
Kami-sama - God
Ima made - until now; so far; up to the present
Arigatou - thank you
Sayonara - good bye
---
He was in the Dojo again. Or rather, standing at the twin wooden doors to the dojo. The moon hung high in the night sky, its serene face obscured by a faint veil of clouds, spreading its ethereal radiance over the old Dojo below. Beams of moonlight shone through the thin floating clouds, forming pools of silver on the bare ground. What am I doing here? Wasn't I just in the forest on my way to Kyoto…? He glanced around him, but all he could see behind and to the sides was a never ending stretch of white… it was as if nothing except him and the Dojo existed.
Okay, this is weird, he thought as he nudged open the Dojo doors, the old wood creaking slightly. He winced. I hope Kaoru-dono doesn't wake up. He took a ginger step into the dojo, the beautiful night glow bathing him in the moon's rays. He glanced up to see the moon it's full glory, hanging in the sky with such radiating beauty he wished he could share it with some one he loved. Almost immediately, an image of a beautiful Japanese girl with long bangs that covered her face came to mind, her rosy lips set in a completely emotionless curve, her deep brown eyes looking back at him in an unreadable expression, or rather, none at all. He squeezed his eyes tight and shut off the painful mental image.
Taking a deep breath, he brought his other leg over the step and was completely in the Dojo. He was here to see how Kaoru-dono was. As quietly as possible, he walked to her rooms, making sure his footsteps on the polished wood of the Dojo were inaudible. He could already imagine Kaoru-dono making Yahiko clean the Dojo from top to bottom for calling her busu.
A soft whimper caught his ear, making him freeze. Kaoru-dono? Clutching his sakabatou, he slipped up to her room's door and peeked in through the narrow crack of the door, sword ready to fly through the air and bring down any attacker who might be in the room. There was none. Nani?!
---
Busu - ugly
Sakabatou - reversed edge sword
Nani - what
---
Shifting his eye away from the crack, he leaned the side of his face on the door, his sensitive ears trying to pick up words muttered from her lips, if any. Not a sound left those parted lips except an occasional sniffing. Then the double syllable rolled off her tongue so easily, so grievously, he wanted to jump in and hold her in his arms. To comfort her and tell her everything would be alright. But he could not.
"Kenshin…"
How could he? He was the cause of her anguish, her sleepless nights of tears. And he sure as hell could not help her. Because if he did she was bound to be more attached to him. Just like every other girl he had met on his long perilous journey of eternity, his way of atoning for his bloody past. She was not the first girl he had left, and she probably would not be the last. But, she had been one of the more lucky ones, or rather, unfortunate ones, as he had stayed with her much longer than any other girl.
He cursed his damn weakness in not leaving when he should have. He had been so tired from traveling, so tired… why did he have to stay when she asked him his name? He had told himself he would leave the next day. Days turned to weeks, never a day him wanting to thank her hospitality and leave. But no. He had to stay with her for weeks on end, never leaving and now… this…
This was the out come. He was on his way to possible death fight. But that was not the least of his concerns. It was the feeling of anguish he was putting the sobbing figure in the room beside him. If only he had left earlier. Maybe then the pain would be less. Sighing at the mess he had created, he walked slowly out of the Dojo, shutting the door completely behind him.
Miles away, the door to the room of Kamiya Kaoru slid shut. Startled, she turned to look at the door. Kenshin!? No sound penetrated the silent darkness except a lone cricket. She sighed sadly. Probably just the wind.
Choking back the hot tears in her throat, she turned back and closed her eyes, squeezing the crystalline pearls of liquid out of the corners of her eyes as she tried to go back to sleep.