Things written in italic are flashbacks.

Let Me Go

Chapter 2

Sara's Pov

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!", I swear as I punch the wall out of pure desperation about not knowing what to feel or what to do. I want her. No, I want to hate her, I want to hate her so much. It would be so much easier if i could just hate her. So many thoughts are running through my head right now and i can't focus on one.

"Damn this...", I mumble while sliding down the wall I just punched.

Why does she always has to do this to me? She left me. She just went away without telling me why, so why can't she just let me go.

"Cath, come on...", I plead trying to wiggle out of her grip.

"No.", she says continuing kissing my neck, effectively pinning my arms, which are trying to distract her, against the wall.

"You know that's... not fair...", I try hard not to concentrate on her kisses or her body pressed against mine, "I don't have the... day off, and I certainly wouldn't... make it so hard for you... to leave.", I try to reason between teasing kisses.

She stops kissing me for a moment only to be able to look into my eyes. I take the chance and try to wiggle out of her grip again but it only tightens and I find myself still pinned against the wall, "Well...", she begins, kissing me once more, "From now on feel free to make it hard for me to leave every time you'll get the chance to.", she says smirking before my neck comes under notice by her lips once again.

"Oh god, Cath", I moan, "Come on... let me go.", I beg her because if we don't stop now we'll never stop.

Suddenly her grip on my wrists loosens and instead of pinning them down again she brings her hands up to cup my face. She locks eyes with me and we are standing like that for a while until her hand begins to caress my cheek. Our faces are only inches apart and I can feel her breathing against my lips.

"I would never let you go.", she whispers.

I try so hard to move on. I really do. But how am I supposed to move on when she always comes back playing with me?

I stand up again and start to pace down the hallway simultaneously running my hand through my hair.

This just can't be. This did not just happen. Catherine Willows didn't just sit in the parking lot and she certainly didn't try to talk to me again after six months constantly ignoring each other. God damn, six months. Who does she think she is? Coming by after six months, thinking that one damn excuse would make up for all the pain. I bet she didn't even wanted to apologize, 'cause she is Catherine Willows and she gets everything she wants.

Suddenly the anger changes into deep hurt and all I want to do is sink to the floor and cry, but I know I won't. Not because I think crying a sign of weakness and neither because I know that it won't change my situation just because I can't cry anymore. I cried so much for you and now it just feels like there's not a single tear left for crying.

I am still pacing.

I am so desperate right now. I don't know what to do. What do I do now?

"Bye."

Suddenly I stop my pacing in the middle of the hallway. Am I totally out of my mind now? I slowly turn around to see Ann in front of me, her bag standing beside her. Okay, so I'm not insane but what does Ann wants in the hallway, with her bag which is obviously packed with the few things she brought with her the times she was staying at my apartment.

"You know cold food isn't that delicious...", she says, forcing herself to smile.

Oh, damn, dinner. I totally forgot about that. How long have I been outside?

I am too confused and too shocked to come up with anything to say so she takes it as her cue to leave and picks her bag up beside her.

She walks away and I am just watching her leave.

She is standing in front of the elevator reaching out to push the elevator button but hesitates. She let's out a exhausted sigh and looks at me. Then she puts down her bag and walks towards me when she reaches me she extends her arms and embraces me but I don't hug her bag, I just let her hug me.

"You know what?", she stops embracing me before continuing, "The trick is not to look back even if it hurts with every step you take forward."

She kisses me one last time before she heads for the elevator with one last look she vanishes inside the elevator and let out a shaky breath.

I did not just lose the only thing left in my life.

My god, I am such an asshole. Anna really didn't deserve this.

I am standing at the bar playing with toothpicks whilst waiting for my drink.

"There you go.", the blond bartender, whos name tag says Anna, tells me handing me the drink.

I nod in appreciation, bringing the glass to my nose to smell the drink. I swivel the transparent fluid once in the glass before I swallow it down in one gulp.

"Whoa, easy tiger...", she says shocked.

"Can I get another one?", I ask deciding to ignore her shock.

She looks at me for a moment before refilling my glass. When I reach out to take it she pulls away.

"On one condition.", she demands.

"I didn't know that drinking comes with conditions.", I joke, obviously finding myself very witty.

She doesn't laugh, instead she takes the drink and walks over to the sink.

"Okay, name that condition!", I almost scream to stop her.

She turns again, the drink still in her hand smiling triumphantly.

"You'll get this drink...", she emphasizes her words by showing me the drink, "If you'll share."

"My drink?", I ask slightly confused.

"Your worries.", she answers seriously, looking straight into my eyes.

God, I am such an asshole.

I make my way over to my apartment. When I arrive at my door I lean my head against it noticing just how fuck up my life really is. I let out a sigh and open the door. The smell of cold of vegetarian lasagna is making its way into my nostrils.

That must be the nauseous odor of loss.

I stand in my hallway a moment before turning and closing the door. With another sigh I turn again and make my way over to the kitchen table. She didn't bother to clear the table. Dinner still lays, untouched on its plates. Candles are half burnt standing in the middle of the table.

"Damn", I mumble realizing how much I must have hurt her.

I let myself sink into one of the chairs and stare at my plate.

I grab some of the lasagna with my fingers, not bothering about manners, plugging it into my mouth I immediately regret it.

She's right, cold food isn't that delicious.

TBC

So the next chap will probably take a little longer to update, so be patient.

Thanks for reading