I look around and ponder on my few options on what to do next. I could move forward with an ever so failing business or let it go. A part of me thinks that one day I could be a success, but a bolder part of me disagrees. Already my staff members have lost faith and interest in the company, but they promised to help if I needed it. Little do they know, practically my life depends on them. I don't know what I would do without the help of the developers who help with technical work, and my designers who make us look professional.
All my money, time, effort, and heart is put into this. It would be such a shame to see it miserably fail. I feel like I'm stuck between darkness and the light, but I'm blinded to see which is which. If I were to quit now maybe I would have a chance at Aliacrest again, but that would mean leaving everything behind for a big maybe.
I'm awaken from deep thoughts when I hear a loud howl coming from a distant wolf. That's when I realize it has already become night.
I run through the trees, hoping that I don't find myself face to face with one of the creatures of the night. Scampering, I manage to find myself a way home clear from any danger.
As I take a seat on my old leather couch, I begin to cough because of all the dust that shoots out.
"Ah, this is disgusting! I just cleaned this yesterday."
My eyes begin to wonder off fixed on a binder I have kept for many years. My mind keeps telling me "No, don't open it." But just something about it seems special today. I ignore my brains desires, and open the binder. Inside are countless pictures of my friends and I together. Some at Aliacrest, others at my business Flaming Creak.
I have viewed these pictures many times before, but this time I saw something different.
We were happy.
It's been a long time sense I have seen a smile that big from Pip, and Ru actually hugging me and Leigh? That's one I won't forget. Oh and Jamie and I hugging, that's a special one. I basically forced him to hug me. This is what real friendship is, I'm not sure what happened to us. So joyful, excited, and didn't care what happened as long as we were together.
Those were the days. What has changed sense then? We are all still together, and nothing huge has really happened. Well, other than me being demoted anyway…
I miss us acting like a family, it was beautiful. Sure Jamie is a hater, but he is family too. We are all like siblings, sometimes we fight but in the end it works out one way or another.
Is it the fact we haven't had time to spend time with each other in a while? Now and days, we talk for a brief minute and move on to the task at hand. It's become a routine, get up fix the online issues that happen every morning, say hi, be bored all day while trying to finish our schoolwork given to us by our unforgiving college classes. It's a nightmare!
Our lives are so repetitive. Same thing over and over. It's like our world is a clock. The hand starts at the twelve, ends at the twelve, repeats. Never ends. Is our world just an infinite matter of waiting through time so time can repeat again and again and-I need to stop thinking about this.
At this moment, at this time, I have nothing left to consider. I have nothing left to be reminded of. I know what I want, but the question I need to be asking myself is am I willing to give my once dream up for it?
I suppose time will tell.