My mouth gaped open as I realized just what Sherlock meant. Surely that wasn't it. Yet here he was, standing right outside my room, asking me something I had only dreamed of. This was just so uncharacteristic of him. Well, considering recent events... Still, it was hard to believe this wasn't just a dream.
I switched back and forth from my thoughts to the reality of him standing a few feet away. My mind was racing, attempting to find words for my response. I knew I wanted this, but was that all? Or did I want something more from him? Something more, like a deeper relationship. Not just friends with benefits. I looked into those ocean colored eyes and realized the answer to the most important question I had asked myself in a while was... yes. But I had to make him fall in love with me first.
His question still rang in my ears. The offer was so tempting. I could do this and get it over with, and things would go back to normal. Of course that was a lie. We wouldn't just do something like this and forget all about it. I just know it wouldn't happen. In this situation, it was either all or nothing. I chose nothing, for now.
"No." I said firmly.
His expression changed to one of slight confusion. I understood perfectly. I mean, I had just walked in on him masturbating and then he comes in my room to find me doing the same thing. Obviously, I wanted him. I just couldn't bring myself to accept the offer yet. I didn't want to have sex once and then lose all interest. That was why. I didn't want to lose him.
He turned around, walked away, and closed the door behind him without a word.
Back in the privacy of my room, I sighed with relief. I could finish myself off, then figure out my relationship with my flatmate.
Ten minutes later...
A thought hit me. What if he couldn't see the way I felt about him? Knowing Sherlock, he was always so confused by the emotions of humans. Likely, he wouldn't realize that just because I had rejected this one offer, didn't mean I had rejected him. Oh no. That was it. He probably thought I hated him now.
My suspicions were right. I found him curled up on the couch, a teardrop making its way down his face.
I grimaced at the thought that I was the one to blame for not explaining it. Well, here goes the explaining part.
"Sherlock."
He made a faint noise, acknowledging that he was awake.
"I'm sorry. When I said no, I didn't mean it could never happen. The only thing I meant is that I don't want that right now. I want to let our relationship progress before we do anything... like that. Is that okay with you?" I told him gently.
No response. I sighed and, acting on a random idea, placed a light kiss on his cheek. He flinched a bit, just from the surprise of the kiss. He wasn't expecting that. Well I wasn't expecting his response either.
Sherlock suddenly sprang off the sofa and stared straight into my eyes. "I understand."
I gave him a small smile, and a peck on the other cheek. And with that, I went back to my room.