Three Months Earlier

"HAIL IL PALLAZZO!!!"

"Well, it's good to see you in one piece after your last mission, agent Excel…"

"Right, Il Pallazzo," Excel said, "After diving head first into a river full of sharks with my feet being bitten and the ice water closing in on me I was saved by a miraculously handsome merman who enjoyed touching my breasts that wound up to be made of sandpaper, blalalalalblablablahblah…"

"Senior Excel," Hyatt said, turning to face Excel, "We never went into a river. We just went to the Gobi Desert…"

"I'm telling him what happened!" Excel snarled.

Il Pallazzo reached for a long rope that had descended from the ceiling, and pulled it. A trap door opened up from under Excel. She tumbled down into oblivion, but that didn't seem to keep her obnoxiously high voice from echoing through the chamber. Il Pallazzo savored the great splash at the bottom before continuing, "Well, Agent Hyatt, did you find what we were looking for?"

"No, sir, as it was buried under the—erk…" Hyatt clutched her breast before falling to the side, herself falling into the great hole and falling down and down. Il Pallazzo could hear Excel scream as she broke Hyatt's fall. He couldn't deny he wasn't amused.

After waiting ten minutes, Excel emerged from the pit, Hyatt in her arms, "Gezz, Hyatt, we need to work on your habit of dying like that!"

"Sorry, senior…" Excel moaned, a trickle of blood running down from her mouth.

"Alright…" the long white haired Il Pallazzo muttered under his breathe, "It would appear that every one of our schemes to conquer the city has ended in miserable failure, but now we have a fool proof plot that will leave no room for error!"

"What's that?"

"The answer is simple, my dear idiot Excel," Il Pallazzo said, "We need to recruit specialists in conquest!"

"Specialists?" Hyatt asked.

"We will summon the characters from other universes, and then petition to them if they will aid us in our conquest!" Il Pallazzo said, "And then the world will follow!"

"Il Pallazzo! You're a genius!" Excel cried in reverence, "Only the grand Lord Il Pallazzo could ever comprehend such a grand idea! And I, Excel Excel, will do anything to realize your plans!"

"But sir, isn't that breaking the Fourth Wall?" Hyatt asked.

"I am afraid that we already have broken the Fourth Wall awhile ago," Il Pallazzo stated, bluntly, "Surely if we force it apart a little more nothing too serious should happen. And besides, through the power of Suspension of Disbelief, we'll be able to summon all the villains to this lair for a great Convention!"

"Lord Il Pallazzo, what can Excel do?" Excel asked, speaking in the third person.

"You, Excel, will be able to clean the infrastructure of our plan, and ensure that nothing comes unnoticed by our guests! Make sure the filth and rubbish is driven away, that the foul odors of wickedness are driven out, and that we are known as the greatest force in all their universes!"

"I accept, Lord Il Pallazzo!" Excel said, sharply.

------

"Oh man, this sucks!" Excel cried as she pushed the dust into the dustpan. When Il Pallazzo had said "clean the infrastructure of our plan", Excel hadn't expected he meant it in a literal sense.

"Hey!" A man walked over. He was dressed in a suit and tie, and his glasses reflected the light around him. He stood hunched over with his mouth hanging open. He stared at Excel.

"What is this man standing before Excel?" Excel began to speak aloud as if she were having some sort of bizarre interior dialogue, "Is he a pervert or a rapist, perhaps?"

"Who is your boss?" he asked.

"Who are you?"

"Mr. Kimura."

"I see…why do you want to speak to the Grand Lord Il Pallazzo?"

"Because something's wrong!"

"Wrong?" Wrong with the plan? Excel couldn't let Il Pallazzo find out, or else he's punish her for sure! "Why don't you just tell good ol' Excel all about it!"

"Alright…" Mr. Kimura said, "There's a problem with your uniform."

"What?" Excel looked down at herself. She fingered the fabric, tentatively.

"Yes…" Mr. Kimura pulled out a picture of a woman wearing skimpy clothing, "This should be your uniform!"

Excel stood still for a moment, but then grabbed her gun and blasted Mr. Kimura's skull in.

"Excel…what did I tell you about killing our patrions?"

"Lord Il Pallazzo…?" Excel turned around just in time to see the barrel of a gun pressed against Excel's forehead, "Don't worry, Il Pallazzo! We can always ask that big spinning wheel person to fix it! It'll be o—AGH!!!"

Il Pallazzo pulled the trigger anyway.

A second passed before Excel and Kimura were brought back to life. While Kimura lumbered away, Excel pouted, "Why did you shoot me?"

"It was rather amusing, to say the least."