Thankyou guys sooooo much for all the lovely comments. I'm glad you're all liking the story so far. And, just as I promised before the chapters will be short but ill post them fast lol. (Lucas voiceover is in bold and flashbacks are in italics)
Enjoy x
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CHAPTER TWO - The Only Way Out
To feel like you cant do something is hard enough, but to feel like it is actually impossible to do something is a whole lot worse. I cant live without Brooke. But, its impossible to even try. How do you even begin to imagine how to deal with losing your best friend, the closest person to you, and the one you love all at once?
I walked into the house me and Brooke share. The house me and Brooke shared. Everything was exactly where we'd left it hours earlier. Her mascara was still on the kitchen counter, her stilettos still sitting by the door, and her scent was still present in the air. Except now her warm presence had disappeared and her loud laughter was silent. She was gone. Gone forever. I grabbed an unopened bottle of whiskey from the kitchen cupboard and collapsed down onto the cold leather sofa. Without thinking I unscrewed the top and let the hot liquid burn deep into the base of my throat. It didn't feel good. It didn't make things better. But, it didn't make things worse.
Things couldn't get any worse. The pain, the loneliness, the emptiness couldn't get any worse. I had a million unanswered questions and they all started with the word 'Why?'.
I heard a knock on the door, but didn't flinch "Lucas! LUCAS!" the familiar voice of my mom cried out to me, but I didn't bother to move and instead picked up the remote and switched on the radio "Lucas. Please let me in" she pleaded with the closed door, as Mat Kearney's Wont Back Down rang out over the speakers "Please let me help you" she offered me the help I was secretly crying out for, the help I didn't want to take through fear of having to let go "Lucas. Please" she begged of me, and I could tell she was upset but that didn't stop me from turning up the radio to drown out her voice . To drown out the pain.
Me and Brooke sat down with a pizza and a couple of beers and just talked, something we always did on her first night back. It wasn't like we hadn't spoken to each other over the past three months, we'd spoken everyday, but there was something about having her back, actually having her here with me, it just felt right
I opened the pizza box and rolled my eyes as she immediately darted for the biggest slice "So…" I started to make conversation before sitting down opposite her at the breakfast counter "…What happened with you and lashes?" I referred to her now ex-boyfriend. She'd told me that things hadn't worked out between them over the phone, but she hadn't had time to tell me what had really gone on
"Well, it turned out that he liked himself more than he liked me…" she informed me with a shrug. She didn't seem upset about the break up, they had only dated for a couple of months so it wasn't serious and besides he wasn't good enough for her, but then again no one was. Especially not me. "And, there was nothing wrong with Michael's eyelashes" she told me with a light hearted tone, before walking past me towards the fridge, probably in search of the butter. For some reason, she always liked to smear margarita pizza with butter. I'd never asked her why, it was just another one of Brooke Davis' mannerisms that I'd come to love so much
"Oh, come on" I sighed "The guy looked like he had that Rimmel lengthening mascara on" I mocked, with a huge grin
"Ok, gotta say…its kinda scary that you know so much about eye make-up" she cocked one of her perfectly plucked eyebrows in my direction, before sitting back down opposite me and taking the lid from the tub of butter she just collected from the fridge
"I guess that's what living with princess vanity has done to me over the years" I tantalized her
"Shut up!" she nudged me in the arm "And anyway, its not like you have the right to mock my ex's with your history with the opposite sex"
"Hey, there's been nothing wrong with the people I've dated…" I retorted "Well, except one may be.." I looked her up and down. Ironically, she was the only person that I'd dated that there hadn't been something wrong with, but I was never going to tell her that
"Tina? Michelle? Kate?" she listed my past girlfriends on her fingers
I scrunched my face up "What was wrong with Kate?" I questioned, and tried to look offended as Brooke threw her head back and groaned in disagreement "So, she didn't wanna party every night. We are nearly 30, Brooke" I told her with a smirk that I couldn't stop from appearing
"Yeah, don't remind me" she answered, before taking a bite from her third slice of pizza. I shook my head and wiped the melted cheese that had dripped down her chin away with my finger "I think I already spotted my first grey hair…" she informed me with a tone of slight disappointment before the door bell rang
I stood up and began to make my way to the door "Don't be dumb…" I answered, before taking her head into my hands and kissing the top of it "Your hair's beautiful" I complimented her "Oh, wait" I paused and pretended to spot a grey strand amongst her dark brown locks
"Funny" sarcasm showed upon her face and in her voice as she jabbed me in the ribs
I walked over to the door, and opened it to a very excited Haley, followed by Peyton, Jake and Nathan. Haley ran straight past me and into the arms of Brooke "Hey!" she greeted her eagerly as I welcomed the others
"You are gonna love me more than ever before" Brooke told Peyton and Haley, as she finished up her half of the pizza
"That's actually possible?" Peyton's commented wittedly, as Brooke nudged her in the hip playfully
"Louis Vitton just finished last seasons orders and they had a bunch of stock left over…so guess who was first in line for all the freebies?" Brooke told the others all in one breath before walking through to her room, obviously in search of the clothes she'd been referring too
"The clothes are for us right?" Peyton whispered into Haley's ear "I mean where not just watching her try stuff on again are we? Coz I really was hoping to have an early night tonight" Peyton joked, as both her and Haley also made there way into Brooke's room
"So, how's it feel to have her back?" Jake asked me as he seated himself on the sofa next to Nathan
"Luke, would you bring that bottle of red wine through?" Brooke called out to me from her room before I had chance to answer Jake
"It's like she never left" I smiled, and grabbed the bottle of wine and three glasses from the kitchen cupboard
Eventually my mom had given up trying to get through to me and gone home. A part of me wanted to believe that she'd not only given up on trying to get through to me but that she'd actually given up on me too. If I believed that, then I could make myself believe that whatever I was about to do in these next few seconds wouldn't affect her. It wouldn't affect her because she wouldn't care. I stood from the sofa and walked over to the kitchen area, I opened up a cupboard and took a large pot of pills from inside. I then poured the pills out onto the worktop and sat in front of them. Brooke was gone. Now it was just me, the regret of things that I should have said and done, and my way out. The only way out.
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Sophia x