The Link Life.
Link's "Day 1" Memory: Hyrule has been ridded of Evil and peace around this vast land has finally peaked. Kids are straying apart from their parents without a fear in the world, teenage Hyrulians are sneaking strangers into their bedrooms without any sort of danger, ghouls are no longer stalking innocent travelers who venture the lands of Hyrule, and all just seems swell… except this isn't a memory our hero Link wants. Dragging his feet through the fields of Hyrule, everything seems so bleak now. You could say all of the happiness of everyone was enraging Link on the inside. Could he even become the bad guy because of this? He wants there to be evil, and he wants Hyrule to see a hero once more, himself. Link was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and there was no way this fairy boy was letting up.
Day 2
"This is my big chance!"
(The Lost Woods) Hyrule Local Time: 9:45 A.M.
(Random Tree Stump)
Setting: Anytime Link was in the Lost Woods, he pretty much considered himself insane and a bore with no life. But it was a playground to him and I guess the sensation of being lost was kind of an escape.
::Link loses his breath from running and takes a rest on a nearby stump:
Link: (taking out the Ocarina) I think I'll play a new song.
::Link tries to make up a new song:
::He inhales dust from the inside of the Ocarina:
::He coughs like a thirty year smoker::
Link: (gagging) It's been a while.
::Link stares into the distance::
Link: Wish I could turn into a werewolf again. I'd dart through these woods and the land of Hyrule in a flash. God I miss those days. I can't do anything now. I'm retired. Minus well enroll in another Super Smash Bros. game.
::Navi flies out from one of the dark holes:
Navi: There you are! Link, thank God I found you!
Link: What? Does another Kokiri boy need help building a tree house?
Navi: Trouble!
Link: (sliding out his sword) Where?
Navi: Follow me!
(Kokiri Forest) Hyrule Local Time: 10:00 A.M
Villagers: He's a mad man!
::Link and Navi arrive at the scene::
::An outsider, certainly didn't look Kokiri, holds a sharp knife blade up to a little Kokirian boys throat::
Outsider Man: I'll kill him!
Villagers: Link do something!
Link: (whispering to Navi with a smile) Let's keep this between us but… I'm an expert negotiator. Ever since I've been able to talk, every single word that comes out of my mouth has been explosive. It's like… a new profound perspective on life. It's so intriguing…
Flashback: Not that long ago… probably like five days or something…
(One bright day in Kokiri Forest)
(Link's Hut)
::Link awakes bright and early, stretches, fetches his clothes from his homemade can steamed dryer, buttons up his green outfit, and yawns::
Link: …………..
Links Cow: Sucks doesn't it?
::The birds chirped outside and it was just another day in Hyrule::
::Link walks out of his hut and trips::
::He falls off his porch and lands on his face::
Link: Wow that hurt!
Gardener Lady: You spoke Link!
Link: (eyes gleaming with happiness) That I did!
::The whole village breaks out into a musical::
Link: (singing in a surprisingly deep tone) I can talk, yes its true,
Words can pass from me to yooouuu!
::Link slides over to the gardener lady and starts to dance with her::
Link: (continuing to sing) I'm hear to save the day in a whole new waaayyy!
::Link slides away from the lady. The lady smiles brightly::
Link: (singing) No more comprehending and now it's time to for some extending! (kneeling down at a little boy trying to find rubies) It's ok little one you'll get your chance, now I'm going to call up Zelda and have me some romance! YEAH!
(Kokiri Forest) Hyrule Local Time: 10:00 A.M.
::Link snaps out of his trance::
Outsider Man: This boy is dead!
Navi: Link! Hurry and do something!
Link: (extending his arm) Wait!
::Link draws in closer to the man::
Link: It's ok. I know where your coming from. I'm an outsider too.
Outside Man: Yeah right!
Link: It's ok to express your anger. I couldn't do it for a very long time. But now I'm a changed man. Let's talk.
::Just when Link thought this was his big chance to save the day, a random arrow strikes the Outsider Man in the neck and he falls to the ground, dead::
::The arrow was shot from the right by the Kokiri Forest janitor::
::There really isn't anywhere that needs cleaning in Kokiri Forest, so that makes this janitor completely useless::
Link: That's some bullshit!
Kokiri Forest Janitor: Power to my people!
::The Janitor becomes mayor of Kokiri Forest::
(Lake Hylia) Hyrule Local Time: 10:05 A.M.
::Link got to lake Hylia in two minutes… he must of really wanted to fish::
::Epona died near the lake::
::Link decides to skip lunch and hunt for his own fish in the Fishing Pond::
::He could of did the hunt in the regular lake but I suppose he just wanted to piss somebody off::
(Fishing Pond)
::Link was highly frustrated from the past incident::
::He starts to shoot arrows at the fish in the pond::
Fish Pond Worker: Please listen to the rules.
Link: I can do what I want!
Fish Pond Worker: (looking up at the sky) Fuck my life.
(Somewhere in Hyrule Field) Hyrule Local Time: 11:10 A.M.
::Link plays the Song of Storms for five hours straight::
::The rain falls only overtop of him::
::He created a new lake::
(Lon Lon Ranch) Hyrule Local Time: 4:45 P.M.
(Malon's House)
::Link barges into Malon's house::
::He rudely interrupts Malon and Talon's special time, again::
::The two of them stare at Link::
Link: (drenched in water) Milk time?
Talon: (cheering his drink with a smile) Alcohol time!
(Lon Lon Ranch)
Malon: What's up Link?
Link: (whispering frantically) Malon, run away with me.
Malon: What happened to you?
Link: Forget that. Are you in or out?
Malon: I have to take my horse.
Link: Sure. That's fine. I'll give you an adventure.