UPDATED

A/N: I have a lot of creativity in me right now. Probably best to use it before it's gone…this chapter will be in Edward's POV and will continued to be so for the rest of the story unless I feel it's necessary to switch to someone else.

Disclaimer: I may not own Twilight or New Moon and consequently the characters in these books, but I do own my own little coven of vampires, who will appear in the next chapter. However, if Stephenie Meyer's willing, I have $22.67 and some pocket lint in exchange for the rights.

Thirty years.

Had it really been that long? I could still smell her scent here. Or was that my imagination? It seemed that I tended to fall into that little pit of hope quite often over the past few decades. Or maybe it was that, this being our meadow, her scent would always be here. It was comforting to think that. Especially when the alternative was insanity. Though, at this point, I think I might have welcomed it.

Why? Why hadn't she waited? She had promised. But when I had returned those few, yet agonizingly long, months later, she was gone. No one seemed to know what I was talking about when I asked after her. No one seemed to remember there ever being a 'Bella Swan daughter of Charlie Swan, the police chief.' No matter who I asked, no one seemed to remember her or Charlie. Even when I interrogated their thoughts, they knew nothing of her. Even that vile, disgusting slimeball of a person, Mike Newton. He'd looked at me as if I were saying that guinea pigs could fly if only crossed with a seagull. It was impossible, how could they not remember her? If not for the beautiful, wonderful person she was, why not the huge commotions she'd caused? She'd disappeared twice within the same year, she'd come back from one broken and mangled. And still they couldn't remember her.

Alice knew she wasn't dead, but that wasn't much reassurance. Especially when whenever Alice searched for her future places would come up, but the visions were devoid of any people. The visions would go blank as soon as they came, no matter how much Alice tried to call them back. It had gotten to the point where Alice would spend entire days just searching for those places, anything that told us she was alive.

The rest of my family could only watch in horror as I refused to do anything, but look for her. They helped me for a while, but eventually they said what I was thinking with their action of giving up. 'She's gone.'

They may not have grieved as I did, but they mourned in their own ways.

Rosalie no longer spoke of her and tried to act as if it didn't affect her, but I caught her looking at the room we had been readying for Bella. She had chosen the clothes in the wardrobe herself, saying that she wouldn't have a sister who looked like she belonged on the streets.

Emmett had stayed the longest with me, trying to think of it as another one of our competitions, always saying he would find her first. But I knew he was suffering, in the few moments when I was privy to his thoughts, they were of Bella, and how much he had cared for her. I knew Emmett had loved her like a little sister, always watching out for her, teasing her, but always making sure she was happy, trying to make her laugh and smile, taking joy in her blushes. It took all I could not to let myself see how much it hurt him to think she would be gone.

Jasper had tried in his own way to help; he'd continued the search for someone who knew something about her. It was too much for him to be around me. Even though Jasper hadn't let himself get close to her, he'd always thought of her as a sister, even if he couldn't joke with her like Emmett, I'd found the two of them reading in the living room together many a time, with him on one end and her on the other, just enjoying each other's quiet.

Esme had refused to believe Bella was gone. She'd continued to work on Bella's room until it was finished, and after that she began the search for a car for her, after that, more clothes, more books. Always just trying to find something to distract herself from the loss of another child. I tried not to notice when she would just sit in the room and cry her tearless tears.

Carlisle. He searched for Bella everywhere. Every single connection he had, he used. He'd never given up, every spare moment he still spent searching for her, for me, even if I had given up, he wouldn't. I knew that Bella had been special to him. She had been his daughter in every sense of the word, and now like any other father would, he searched for her.

I hadn't seen them all for at least eight years I had finally given up searching for Bella only four years ago. But I had kept one tradition, the visiting of this meadow. Once a year, I made myself come here, from wherever I was hiding from my misery, and think of her and try to figure out all my whys. I would leave in a day or so, more miserable than ever, it was my punishment to myself. My punishment for not just changing her and taking the dangers that would've come. I hadn't lied when I told her it was too dangerous to change her then, but I hadn't told the whole truth either. And now I had to live with her being gone.

But for right now, I was content to think of the good moments I had stored up in this place, to just enjoy my memories of her. I swear I could smell her there, that alluring scent of freesia. Long ago, it was this scent that had made me almost kill her. And then I had found out about the person behind the scent. And what an incredible person she was. It was strange, even though I had gotten to the point where I was barely tempted to partake in her blood, it had always smelled so…appetizing. Here and now, it smelled only like the greatest of perfumes. This only fed my suspicions that I was imagining it. No matter what I did, there was always going to be a part of me that thirsted for her blood.

But, even if I was imagining it, it was better than my reality. I had considered going to the Volturi a second time, but the fact that I knew she was alive, made me fearful that they would come after her if their memories were jogged. Even if my family couldn't find her, I doubted the Volturi couldn't. And so I searched for her, trying desperately not to succumb to the temptation of just ending myself.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost missed the familiar scent that suddenly began to sneak into my senses. It was familiar, but so radically different from what I was used to. And yet it was the same scent I had been searching for for so long. But I refused to believe myself. I had done this to myself before. I prided myself on my very good memory, this was just one of them leaking to the surface of my currently very unorganized mind. I refused to let myself hope so much.

And then the scent was gone, and I knew that I had been imagining it.

I closed my eyes and brought forth one of my better memories. It had been one of those rare sunny days in Forks, and Bella had surprised me (but of course not Alice) by turning up that morning in her truck. I could remember the way she had smiled when I had come out and how she'd laughed when I'd picked her up and carried her into the house. I could still feel her warm breath on my neck as she let her cheek rest on my shoulder. Alice had bought sandwiches and lemonade for Bella and was adding the final touch of a checkered blanket into the picnic basket. Bella had laughed and I soon joined in. We had spent the day here, where no one could see my sparkling skin. Bella had been so beautiful then, her chocolate brown eyes sparkling with curiosity as she began one of her rounds of endless questions. She had blushed when I'd told her my favorite color had become brown…

And then I heard the footsteps. They were quiet, hesitant. I turned, and Bella stared back at me, however, judging by her unnaturally pale skin, I doubted I would ever see her blush again.

She looked…sickly. She still hadn't gotten over the weight she'd lost when I'd left, but she looked as if she had lost even more while I was away. The changing had smoothed it over, but when she had been changed she must have been very skinny, emaciated even. It showed in the way that all of her features seemed even sharper than was normal when we were changed. Her heart shaped face still retained its round look, but it seemed longer and thinner than I remembered. What had happened to her?

However sickly she may have looked, I couldn't overlook the fact that the changing had definitely…enhanced her beauty. She seemed to be a Greek goddess lost from the heaven where she belonged.

Her once chocolate brown eyes had turned a pure gold, but instead of the sparkle of happiness and life I was used to, there was fear, and some other emotion I couldn't name.

And then she was running, but this was not the slow clumsy human Bella running. This was the strong, graceful vampire Bella running, and she was fast. Very fast. However, I was faster. I couldn't lose her again. I wouldn't. Not after I had searched for so long.

I grabbed her arm, turning her to look at me. And then she was gone.

A/N: Cliffhanger! I may or may not write the third chapter today… depends on how long it takes to get Moonset updated…

By the way, I fixed some stuff I noticed in the prologue very minor but…an editor would be nice