(A/N: Well, I'm carrying on with this regardless of whether or not anyone else reads it, because I like it. This chapter is set a few months after the first. Please review if you reaf – I'd like to know what you think, though obviously especially if it's positive! Thankyou and now onwards and upwards (I hope…))
2. Everything I'm Not
Like you're so perfect
And I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect
Just all messed up
Celia sighed. She was sitting on her bed, warming her hands around a cup of herbal tea, and thinking. Not about the mysteries of life in general, for once. No, she was thinking now about her own life. And about Kelly, in particular.
Kelly of the black hair and red lipsticked smile.
Kelly, Head Girl.
Kelly, her girlfriend.
Supposedly.
Things had been good, at the beginning. They had had fun together. It had been very light-hearted, very casual – just the way both of them liked it. And God, Kelly was good.
But then Celia had realised she was a little deeper in than she liked to be, usually. She was more than attracted to Kelly, and it was more than the sex that kept her hanging on. And by some cruel twist of fate, it was around this time that Annabelle Fritton arrived at the school.
Oh, she had nothing against Annabelle personally. Lovely girl, and all that. No, it was her effect on Kelly that she objected to. And God knows that wasn't really Annabelle's fault.
After the new girl's transformation into a proper St Trinian, you couldn't exactly blame Kelly either. She was hot, and no denying it. Annabelle herself seemed to be practically oblivious to this fact. Sadly, Kelly was not.
Celia had seen the way she looked at Annabelle, had watched Kelly watching Annabelle, and knew that her days were numbered. But so attached was she that she tried everything to get Kelly's attention back. She'd always worn the unofficial uniform of skirts and heels, but she'd never been particularly into the look. Now, she found herself conscious of what she was wearing, choosing skirts just a little bit shorter, heels just a little bit higher, makeup just a little bit more obvious.
Soon, though, she realised it wasn't working, was never going to work. And eventually she'd made up her mind. She didn't appreciate having her heart broken, and it was as a matter of pride that she felt compelled to let Kelly off the hook. Because it was blindingly obvious that Kelly was never going to do it. At this, Celia laughed bitterly. No, she was far too busy ogling Little Miss New Girl for that. Anger and jealousy were not familiar emotions to her, and her usually calm and sweet nature soon righted itself.
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't want to pretend so this is the end
Of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything, everything
I'm not
Having finished her mug of tea, she slowly got up and made her way to Kelly's room. Better get it over with, she thought, taking a deep breath and knocking gently on the door. From inside, she heard a shout of "Come in!" She braced herself, wincing at the thought of what she was about to do, and crept inside.
Seeing her, Kelly jumped up instantly and enveloped her in a hug. "Cee! Where have you been? I've been missing you recently."
No you haven't, thought Celia as she disentangled herself from the embrace. Steeling herself, she looked up at the taller girl.
"I don't know how to say this, Kelly – I've never done this kind of thing before – but – well, the thing is – I think we should split up."
There. She'd said it. She watched carefully as a series of emotions flitted across Kelly's face. First came shock, and incredulity; then sadness, incomprehension; finally her beautiful features settled into resolve and – was that relief? Happiness, even?
Shaking her head to dispel her treacherous thoughts, she hurried on before her girlfriend – wait, ex-girlfriend – could interrupt. "Don't. We both know it's over. Because there's someone you want more than me, isn't there? I've seen the way you look at her. And I wish you every happiness. Provided she feels the same way, of course. But I'm not going to be the one to stand in your way."
Standing on tiptoe, she whispered, "I loved you, Kelly Jones." She kissed her then, softly, on the cheek, and ran out of the room before her tears could start to fall.