Katniss
To say that I like being pregnant is an overstatement. Peeta wanted kids so badly that after 11 years of marriage I gave in. Being pregnant with Lily was... Terrifying. I remember wanting her to stay inside me so I could keep her safe but, at the same time, wanting her out so I could function properly again.
After she was born things changed. I changed. That little girl had me wrapped around her little finger. She makes the hard days not so hard when I watch her play in the meadow, picking weeds (thinking they are flowers) to give to me or Peeta. She loves it when I take her hunting with me in the forest. She loves Peeta's baked goods. She loves lilies since she is named after them. She loves animals. And people. And everyone who meets her can't help but fall in love with her. She reminds me a lot of my sister, Prim.
Prim.
I am jolted from my thoughts as I hear Haymitch giving Peeta and I the rundown of the latest uprising.
"I knew there were groups out there looking to regain power but... I can't believe its actually happening." Peeta says looking perplexed.
"We have got to act early on this and everyone is going to be looking to you two. Why they look to you? I have no idea." Haymitch says laughing sarcastically. He demanded that Peeta get him some liquor if he was going to tell us the details. So much for staying sober.
"This group is not like President Snow and his capitol puppets. Running around in clown costumes like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. This bunch is militant. Strong and forceful. They don't for a second pretend to play nice. So no standing in front of loaded guns calling for peace!" Haymitch yells loudly, the comment definitely directed to me so, I ignore him. Like he thinks I don't remember being shot.
"You with us sweetheart?" Haymitch says snapping his fingers in front of my face. "Pregnancy brain got ya a little...behind?" he slurs and laughs tipping the bottle of gin back, taking a quick gulp.
Anger fills me and I glare at him as I quickly stand and stride out of the room.
"Ok not funny." he says trying to follow me but I hear Peeta stop him.
I quickly find my father's old hunting jacket, the leather fading and tearing in certain places, but I wouldn't think about going out without it. I pull on some jeans; grab my bow out of the closet and head for the door.
"Mommy?" Lily's sleepy voice says behind me as my hand closes around the doorknob.
I freeze. My daughter. Can I protect her from the evil outside this door? Can I keep my family safe?
Prim.
My little sister comes to my mind again. I couldn't keep her safe. My heart pounds in my chest and tears come to my eyes.
"Can I come with you?" she says with a yawn.
A tear runs down my cheek and I don't turn to face her. I don't want her to see me being weak. "Not this time Lily girl. Stay here with your dad ok?" I reply trying to keep a steady voice.
I quickly open and close the door and instantly the cool morning air hits me like a wave crashing in the ocean. It takes my breath away for a moment but I keep moving. I run to the fence, that is no longer charged with electricity and slide in between the wires. I run to the hollowed tree and take out my sheath of arrows and lean against it for a quick break.
I feel a flutter in my abdomen and I feel colder than ever. I can see my breath in the air as I lean against the tree, tears slipping uncontrollably from my eyes. Instantly, a thought comes to my mind and I wish it hadn't. I can't seem to shake it but the truth of the fact is real.
I wish I wasn't pregnant. I can't bring this baby into a broken world. I just can't.
My hand comes up to my stomach and I press on it, feeling its hardness. I'm not too big to be uncomfortable yet but it's only a matter of time. And with a possible war on the horizon.. Another Hunger Games..
Like a reflex, I'm up and moving again deep into the forest of trees. I can't even begin to think about reliving one of my worse nightmares again so I keep walking until the Sun is completely up. I find a Bush to hide by, hoping that some turkeys may cross my path. Its mid October so the leaves on the trees are a vibrant orange, yellow, red, and pink. My favorite time of year. I close my eyes and put my hand back on the growing child in my belly. Peeta's child. If only I could keep him in this forest. Freeze this moment and keep him inside me, safe and warm forever. I refer to the baby as a "him" since we already have a perfect daughter, a son would be nice.
Moments pass and I vaguely hear a rustle of leaves about ten yards a head of me. A large Turkey steps into the clearing, pecking at the earth beneath him. I pull out an arrow and soundlessly load my bow. I have done this so many times that I could probably shoot the thing with my eyes closed. Inhaling I steady my hands. Exhaling I prepare to let my arrow fly when I feel the flutter in my belly again. My fingers let go of the arrow and it goes zooming towards the Turkey. And I miss.
I watch Peeta pluck the feathers from the bird on the back porch, Lily sitting by him staring at the bird in disgust. Seeing them together makes me smile. They are my whole world. I feel a strong nudge in my belly, like the baby is reminding me that, he too, is a part of my life now.
"I know, I love you too," I whisper to my belly. "But we need to talk about you making me miss that Turkey earlier." I say seriously to my child. As if he can understand me.
"So the remaining..victors.. will be here tomorrow morning?" I ask as I hear Haymitch stumble into the room and plants himself in a chair at the kitchen table.
Victors. More like the best murders club. I think to myself.
I hate referring to my group of friends as victors. We didn't win anything. Just pieces of who we use to be remain to help the rest of the world forget. Forget the turmoil and terror that once plagued our world. That now threatens to plague it again.
"MmHmm" he mutters, clearly too drunk to speak.
"How many are left?" I ask quietly to myself but Haymitch hears.
"Don't matter now.. All too old to give a damn anymore." Haymitch slurs in his drunken stupor.
At 32, Peeta and I are the youngest victors left. Maybe Haymitch is right.
Joanna, Finnick, Annie, Enobaria, Peeta, Haymitch and I. I would like to assume Beetee is still around but.. He would be pushing 80 if he was and his health was failing 15 years ago. And of course Gale will be there.
I have not kept contact with our friends since the end of the rebellion. After the war, its just seemed easier to forget everything and everyone.
The media, of course, interviews the victors and war heroes from time to time to keep things calm and to remind those thirsting for power that we still live. And we can and will still fight for our freedom. Although I have noticed that when the crews come to District 12 they have been spending more and more time on Peeta and I and less time with Haymitch. Last time they came I don't think they went to see him at all. His deterioration is too prominent now. He does not resemble someone fierce. Someone who can fight. Maybe that's why people are starting to fight again. Because they know that we are in no shape to stop them anymore.
"Mom the bird is done!" Lily yells skipping into the kitchen.
Haymitch groans and mumbles profanities under his breath at the noise.
"Perfect! Thank you Lil." I say smoothing stray strands of her dark hair as she hugs my leg.
"Not too much longer now." Peeta says after sticking the bird in the oven. He grabs me and pulls me into his arms and kisses me passionately, which makes Lily giggle delightfully.
"Me too! Me too!" she yells with her arms in the air.
Peeta and I laugh and he picks her up and hugs us both. If only life could stay like this simple, fun and perfect.
But tomorrow I have a feeling that everything will change.
I have got some concerns about how different Katniss seems in this story. I would just like to clarify again that, in this story, she's a wife and a mother now. People do not act 17 forever. Everyone grows up eventually and I felt like portraying Katniss as a mature adult instead of the confused 17 year-old girl she was in the books. I hope that is ok and those who were wondering about it hopefully may start to see her this way. Thanks again for reading! I love the feedback, please keep it coming!