A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and support. I appreciate it SO much. Also, just to warn you, Jacob doesn't come off as all that nice in this story (not the chapter, but in the future). While I have no beef with him myself (although I am an Edward girl), please don't flame me for making him look less than the perfect character he is.
All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer; plot is mine.
I heard the car before I saw it.
The squeal of tires, the thumping of the dance remix blaring from the speakers, and the graceful soprano that wove her own harmony in with the music could only mean one person – Alice Cullen.
Sure enough, the familiar silver Volvo took the corner at the end of my street much too quickly and screeched to a stop in front of me with Alice at the wheel. Her oversized, entirely too expensive designer sunglasses hid her eyes from my view, butterscotch from her hunting trip the past weekend with Rosalie. She was out of the car almost before it stopped, her door closing without a sound and her arms encircling me in a hug before I had time to react.
Alice, always a frequent visitor at Charlie's house, had taken lately to appearing without warning, toting menu plans and seating charts for me to look over for what she called my "big day". I was beginning to regret allowing her to plan my wedding, but there was no turning back now. In a mere two months, I would become Mrs. Edward Cullen, and – if all went according to plan – a vampire.
Needless to say, Charlie hadn't taken too well to the idea of me becoming Edward's wife (I could only imagine what he would say if I told him I intended to become a vampire). In fact, his reaction had been a mixture of some choice swear words and threats to call Renee on the spot, the latter of which he carried through with. Renee had been furious, an emotion totally uncharacteristic for her. But she had made it clear from the time I was very young that marrying Charlie so young had been a mistake, and she was sure that I wouldn't be so frivolous, so I supposed I deserved some of it. Eventually her head cleared, and she had reluctantly agreed that I was making the right decision.
And then there was Jacob……
No one had seen him in a week, and Billy was clearly worried. Sam Uley had assured me by phone that Jake was fine, that he was just working some things out for himself, but I knew there was more to it than that. Ever since Jake had found out that I was engaged to Edward, he had been distant, not completely there when I spoke to him. Part of this, I knew, was due to my unforgivable selfishness. I had cried myself to sleep in Edward's arms more nights than I could count in the time since my graduation. The truth was that I missed Jacob, more than anyone knew. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I loved him. In a family way, of course, but there was more to it than that. And I wanted so badly to be able to tell him that I loved him, I would always love him, but it would just end up hurting us both even more.
Maybe that was why he had disappeared.
Alice skipped to the front door, leaving me to trudge dully behind her, my thoughts muddled by Jake's absence. "So I brought some more color schemes for you to look at," she announced, oblivious to my pain. "I really think a blue setting is the way to go; Edward likes that color on you so much and I……Bella? You're not listening to me." She pouted.
"Sorry," I murmured. "Here, we can go sit in the kitchen. I have to make Charlie's dinner."
She sighed. "Okay. But I can see that you're thinking about something else. You're not going to listen, so why bother? Tell me what's on your mind, Bella."
I pulled out the leftovers from Friday's casserole and stuck them in the microwave to heat up. "Nothing, really. Just the wedding and everything." I avoided her eyes, knowing that she would see right through the lie.
"It's about Jake again, isn't it? Of course it is," she answered her own question. "Bella, he'll come back when he's ready. Honestly, I think Edward's happier when he's gone."
"I know that!" I snapped, instantly regretting it. "I hate this. I hate how I can love them both so much, and yet……" I trailed off. "It's not enough for him. All I can do is make it worse. That's why he left, Alice. I can't – " My eyes filled with tears. "Damn it! I am not going to cry."
Instantly, her ice-cold arms were around me, soothing, numbing the pain. "Bella," she whispered. "Please, listen. Once you become one of us, we'll never come back here again. You're going to have to let Jacob go sometime, and you'll just make it harder on yourself if you fall apart now. You know that, Edward knows that. He doesn't want to see you hurting like this, and I'm sure Jake doesn't either. Maybe you've already said your goodbyes."
Her words stung me, but it was because I recognized how true they were. What if Jake never came back to say goodbye? Would I never feel his warm hand in mine, never look into his dark eyes and know that I loved him, even if it wasn't enough?
Had I lost Jacob Black already?