Chapter Two (2)-True Depression
Balto ran across the tundra and arrived at his trawler within 4 minutes. Once he reached his destination, he walked up the plank and just lied down under his blanket. All he wanted to do at that point was just disappear in one way or another. He had contemplated the thought several times before. The idea of it all seemed good, but when the opportunity was presented he couldn't bring himself to do it. He lacked the conviction to fully believe that suicide was the right answer. He often felt lost and unconscious.
With a sigh he closed his eyes and tried desperately to go to sleep. After an hour of tossing and turning, he finally surrendered. He had too much energy left. When he got up and his thoughts fully rushed back to him, he remembered why he lied down in the first place. He sat down at the bow of the boat and gazed into the horizon. "Where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this?"
Jenna-Nome Outskirts: 0.09 Miles Away from Balto's Trawler
Jenna was tired of Steele and his advances. She had finally shaken him and decided that it would be best for her to find somewhere quiet and secluded. She had walked the tundra for a while before, but today, something was calling her towards it. It's almost as if fate wanted her to go out there. She knew that was where Balto lived, but had never personally seen his living quarters. She followed her instinct and began to walk towards the destination that had this magnetic pull on her. After 2 minutes of walking, she spotted a small boat. Curiosity drew her in. As she approached, she swore that she heard the soft sound of whimpering.
Balto-Trawler: Nome, Alaska: Outskirts
After becoming completely conflicted, Balto just surrendered and let his thoughts and body take control. He did not know what to do anymore. He just dropped into a fit of confused tears. There was no explanation for this action or his next. A moment later, he found himself starting to sing. It was a song that he had never heard, nor ever thought of it at all. Unable to prevent himself, he began to sing:
[Verse 1:]
Alone on this broken, rotting trawler; thinking about my life.
Steele always beats me down til' I holler, my emotions overwhelmed.
Every time I try to talk, I slip my tongue.
Left here in the dark, where do I run?!
[Chorus:]
Alone here, wondering why I live this way.
Left me down, stomped my heart.
My soul was trampled by the bull.
My mind consumes me, left me alone.
Oh god help me, I'm alone!
[Verse 2:]
Alone with my thoughts, here to contemplate.
On the verge of suicide, or do I wait.
Do I go, or is it too late?
Oh how much longer, will it take?
Before I know!
[Chorus:]
Alone here, wondering why I live this way.
Left me down, stomped my heart.
My soul was trampled by the bull.
My mind consumes me, left me alone.
Oh god help me, I'm alone!
[Verse 3:]
Stuck here! Between the lines!
Looking for a reason, to carry on!
Fighting the battle, of my life!
No one can save me, I'm on my own!
And it's all because...I'm!
[Chorus:]
Alone here, wondering why I live this way.
Left me down, stomped my heart.
My soul was trampled, by the bull.
My mind consumes me, left me alone.
Oh god help me, I'm alone!
Oh god help me, I'm alone!
Oh god help me, I'm alone!
Oh god help me, I'm alone!
[Song End]
Jenna was outside of the trawler and heard every word of the song. It made her feel sad. She was going to go inside and say something but she couldn't bring herself to. She stood and began to walk back to her home, a few tears falling down her cheeks. She was left to think about everything that she had just heard Balto say in his song. She decided that tomorrow she would talk to him, but not about that.
Balto had lied down afterwards, feeling somewhat better after having found a way to release his feelings to the Earth. He decided that he would go to sleep, not having anything better to do. In the morning, he would probably just go in town, get food, come back to the trawler, and just sleep for the rest of the day.
He wished that he could just shake the feeling of the looming dark cloud over his life. He wished that he had someone as a friend. Someone to talk to, he needed to feel wanted, loved. He had not felt that in so long. He needed to feel alive. he felt empty, but now decided that he would not let that triumph over him. He would face it and fight it. With every ounce of energy in his body, he would win. No longer would sadness be his defeat. "No more...no more."
A/N: I hope that I did not confuse anyone at the end of this. I hope that you liked the song. I'm sorry as hell that it took me so long to write something so short. It's just that I was focused on "La Resistance", and was trying to keep the flow going. Thank you for your patience and support.