Boromir didn't know where he was going or for how long he had walked, he just continued walking in the same direction, and it seemed to him he walked for hours. The pain was so strong that he could not think; his head was empty. He walked through the forest like a blind man, knowing only that he was going away from her. But there was no escape.

He couldn't escape from it all.

Why couldn't he just give in and accept her decision? He knew that it was true and from the heart, that it was important to her, that she really meant it. Maybe somebody else would do it in his shoes. But he couldn't. Maybe he loved her too much; maybe that's why he couldn't think of doing anything that could harm her... he couldn't think of anything worse to do to someone. How couldn't she understand what she was doing to him? How could she make such a decision, so simply, as if it was a normal thing?

He was mad. In that moment he loved her more than ever, but was angry at her more than he ever thought he could be... and that devastated him. He was out of his mind. And most of all, he was angry because of her surprise at his reaction... as if he was supposed to say: "Wonderful, great, I'm so glad, that's the true token of love." How couldn't she understand? How should he explain to her that he cannot accept it? He thought she had gotten to know him during all this time, but he was clearly wrong.

His pain was getting stronger until it became unbearable, and so he stopped. Anyway, he didn't know where he was or how far he had come. He could go on, anywhere, as far as possible, just to escape... but he couldn't escape from what was in his head. So he slowly turned and started back. Slowly.

He couldn't believe this was happening. He thought nothing more could go wrong, now that the war was over. He was right when he had feared something would happen because he couldn't believe everything was so perfect. When he held her in his arms for the first time, he wondered if it was real and if it would last. It seemed incredible to him that he had gotten something so precious. But it lasted; they survived all the dreads and battles, and survived what they thought was the end of their world, the war was over, they were together, she accepted his proposal... and then the earth under his feet collapsed.

He should have stayed there, calmed down and explained to her exactly how he felt, but he just couldn't bear her sorrow; he had to run away. Even such a small thing as her tears hurt him more than he could imagine... and how could she expect he'd accept something that would bring her death in the end? Because down the line, that was the naked truth: she will die because of him. And he couldn't let that happen. Something like that he wouldn't allow to anyone, let alone the woman he loved more than anything.

Compared to hers, his life was only a moment... and no matter how fulfilled that moment was, to her it would pass as fast as one year to him... maybe even faster. Why couldn't she just continue being an elf, keep him in her memories, and go on? Why would she have to stop living because of him? It was unbearable, the very thought of it terrified him.

He should've asked her a question, had he remembered it on time... If this situation could be changed and if they switched places, if she had one more year in her life and because of that he decided to give up the rest of his life and die when she died... what would she say? Would she accept it, as she expected him to do? Would she accept his arguments that he didn't want to live without her? Or would she just refuse it with horror? The same way he had.

He loved her too much to kill her... to shorten her life for a single day, let alone for thousands years that lay before her.

He loved her too much to be with her.

He couldn't imagine he'd never see that face he adored, which meant everything to him, that smile which was carved in his heart forever.

But he had to do it. He had a choice: life with her and her death. Life without her and her life.

And he made the right choice. And every day, every year of his life he'll go on loving her, knowing he gave her life with this choice. It didn't matter what would happen with him, how he would make it without her... the thought that she'll be Ellin for thousands years more was worth it. It will be enough for him.

Still, he didn't understand how everything could have broken down so fast, how such a sudden change could happen in one day... He could wonder over and over if it might have been avoided, and he wouldn't find the answer. He didn't understand why she had to make any choice at all. A day after he proposed to her, she calmly and happily tells him she wants to throw away the rest of her life for it, and is then surprised at his reaction.

She didn't think about it at all and didn't even bother to ask herself how their life would be if he accepted her decision. He couldn't say how it would be for her – he wasn't able to imagine that – but he knew how it would be for him. He'd wake up every morning thinking that this was another day less for her; he'd count his own days, calculating how long they were to her; he'd search for signs that she regreted her choice. He would dread his own death, not because of him, but because of her. He'd feel like a twin forever bound to the other, knowing that his death would end the life of another. And soon, everything would be darkened by his growing sorrow and bitterness. In time, it wouldn't be any easier, but harder. Each happy moment would be dimmed by that shadow... he knew himself.

There was no way she could tell what life would bring them; even this love which now seemed imperishable could be changed. So many things might happen in the future, and her choice now was completely irrational. The elves were supposed to be wise and prudent, not blinded by emotions. For this is how it seemed to him: a sudden impulse. A thing she might regret later, for there was really no way to know everything in advance.

She still didn't know him well enough, that's why she didn't understand this. She couldn't understand how he'd be capable of turning away from this love. But he had to. He would do it.

And now, he had to do the most difficult thing in his life: calm down, go back to her and explain everything. If he went to her only because of explanation, maybe he couldn't force himself to do that... but in spite of all, he returned because of hope. It was the only thing he had left. Hope that she would not give up her immortality. That the two of them would be together nevertheless.

He found her sitting near the fire, just as he had left her. She also knew this was not over; there were still things to be resolved. He sat next to her, not touching her, trying not even to look at her. It took him almost a minute to start talking.

"I love you. I do not want to live without you. And I'm not pushing you away from me, I want you to stay." He managed to talk calmly and marvelled at himself for that. "Until this day we had everything, or at least I thought so. We had happiness and love. And then came your choice. For you, nothing changes. Before the choice, happiness and love, after the choice, happiness and love. Great, isn't it?" He raised his hand and stopped her when she wanted to say something, for he hadn't finished yet. "But for me, you destroyed everything. From the moment you made your choice, nothing but the past remained to me... because for me the future has only two options: living with you in endless remorse which would destroy me, or living without you, knowing you will live. I chose the latter, Ellin... I decided I got much more that way. Try to imagine how you would feel if it was the other way around, if your death meant the death of someone else. But my love... I do not understand one thing. I know you well enough to know you are not a selfish person, and that's why I find this decision so strange. It reminds of a spoiled, selfish child who thinks only of her own welfare and happiness, and doesn't mind what she's doing to others. So, if your life is the same before and after the choice, if it's full of happiness and love, why are you ruining my life? Because that's what you did... whatever I do in the end. You separated us in one stroke."

Slowly he patted her cheek and wiped away her tears, and then stood up.

"I'll be down there, by the turn of the river. When you're ready, I'll listen to whatever you wish to say."