CHAPTER TWO: No Returns
A gorgeous purple sky, yes purple, stretched out for miles and miles. Silvery clouds sparkled in the bright orange flow of direct sunlight. The grass had a rich texture and beautiful green color. The grass was most likely less green on the other side. Best of all, there laid a quiet pond drifting out by a petite patch of cherry blossom trees. The small pink flower petals floated in the pond and the heavenly scent of cherries was in the air.
A refreshing breeze tumbled by blowing Trillian's dark hair back. She smiled and thought placid thoughts to herself. Zaphod was lying next to her grinning ear to ear pulling up grass roots and slowly chewing down of them. Obviously he was hungry.
"A dreadful place if you ask me."
Marvin had also been in the scene. He was disappointed by the whole sight. That was all there was in perspective for him.
Zaphod continued to munch down grass roots, claiming them to taste like mints. Then he began to feel sick to his stomach and stopped eating. Trillian remained tight-lipped and skeptically dipped her bare feet into the pond's water.
"In virtual reality anything is possible, life can be as perfect as you want it to be." a lively voice echoed. The man's voice came from high above the violet colored atmosphere.
Suddenly the scene vanished pixel by pixel revealing a small stubborn room with a salesperson holding on to a round compact disc. He pecked at a few buttons and jotted down sloppy notes with his ten super long fingers.
"That was zarking awesome!" Zaphod exclaimed, his stomach pains were now magically gone.
The salesperson nodded and presumed with his note taking. He spoke while he wrote,
"It's a fantastic program and it's effortless to use. Just plug it into any computer and choose the scene and characters. I would really like to show you more, but I'm afraid that was only the demo. If you desire more you'll have to buy the whole set."
"How much you want for it?" Zaphod questioned eagerly.
"Just twenty-five equapacks which is about ten million dollars, we take Visa and MasterCard."
Trillian made a minor coughing noise and nudged Zaphod to come closer.
"That's a little pricey." she muttered.
"Don't worry, baby, we won't have to pay a dime," Zaphod boasted and then turned back to the salesperson, "Do you take robots?"
Trillian gasped and shook her head violently. She wouldn't allow it.
The salesperson ignored her movements and bluntly said, "Depends, will this robot do me any good?" his colorful eyes stared reproachfully at Marvin's.
Zaphod and Trillian exchanged looks. The group of their three heads looked at each other for what felt like a long time. They were absolutely speechless. They couldn't find any words on how to describe Marvin as 'good'. Nonetheless, Marvin took a slow step forward and answered the question himself,
"I've hardly been any use to anyone. As far as I can remember I've been programmed with Genuine People Personalities at Sirius Cybernetics Corporation and was given an eternity of depression. The diodes on my left side are causing me a struggling pain but the rest of my condition is soon to rust off anyway. No point in worrying about me." he paused and commented, "No one gives the slightest of care." apathetically he lowered his head.
"Remarkable intelligence." the salesman sobbed, his mood seemed to be about at a point to burst into tears. He even stopped writing to cover up his face.
A moment's silence is a reoccurring but extremely uncomfortable circumstance to be in. It often leads to humiliation and there's really no need in that. Fortunately, this quiet horror only lasted a few seconds.
"We have a deal!" the salesman said in his bright voice again. He was talking much faster now. This was because he desperately wanted to make a closure as quickly as possible, he rung up the program carriage. "Take the virtual reality or V.R. but please read the manual first."
"Zaphod, please don't do this." Trillian protested.
"You saw what that little gadget can do! You and I can do whatever we want now."
"Yes, but only virtually. That's not the same."
The time was too late. The salesperson already handed them their receipt and program. Along with a massively heavy book that had over a thousand pages.
"Sorry, but we can't do this. Can we make a return?" Trillian asked him.
"Nope, says right here," the man had long pointed fingers they were amazingly long, he pointed from a distance "no returns, sorry."
"Well can't you make an exception or something? We made a mistake!"
Marvin sunk in a fashionable way to say farewell and at the same time hello to his new owner. He knew there was no possible way of turning back. The salesperson turned to the opposite side paying no attention to Trillian's pleads. Eventually it became easier for him once Zaphod kept trying to stop her.
"This way robot." the salesman pointed with his extra long index finger towards a door three yards away.
Behind the door, was as I'm sure you're wondering, sat an untidy personal library. If you ever experienced an unkempt room, such as your own bedroom, you know it is very baffling, you can't find anything! Relating to the laws of the universe, a library would be estimated fourteen times worse than your unclean bedroom. First of all, books easily get lost or misplaced. Bookmarks are jagged in wrong chapters inside books. How many times do bookshelves have to tip over? And of course, there are many of times when you spend half the day looking for a pair of reading glasses.
"Hello." he said to an unusual robot.
The robot, had been meekly standing behind a giant sofa that was towered with old newspapers. She was made of pink aluminum and was not very big in size. She was at most five feet tall. She had a sort of cloth that draped her entire head and body except for her perfectly circular eyes. She looked much like a woman from India. She only hummed scarcely in reply and fretfully rushed off in embarrassment.
"She's shy. I've been trying to boost her confidence level but I'm beginning to this it's a permanent state."
"GPP, I suppose?" Marvin inquired.
"No, CPA." he corrected.
That was unfamiliar to him, the salesman noticed.
"Computer Protection Agency is just an enormous computer company. Preposterous if you ask me, they are beyond protective! Every single day they jeopardize their lives for so called "conscious" machines! They are coming out with all sorts of insane unbreakable laws."
Marvin didn't bother to ask for more information.
"Meow!" said a squeaky voice.
Marvin saw below him a tiny little cat with a huge head like Marvin's. The cat was to his surprise robotic. It looked furry and lifelike but the shiny plastic eyes gave it away. Marvin at first disregarded the thing but that's when the miniature cat stumbled him over.
"Terribly sorry. Stupid cat is a menace!" he picked up the robotic cat. Her head was about the size of a volley ball and her body was about four tennis balls. The cat was indeed annoying but with its large head, highly intelligent.
"Stupid menace." she mimicked back haughtily.
"I told you to stop tripping everybody Mitchelle!"
"I didn't mean to," Mitchelle said, "Besides, I like seeing new faces." with a very mischievous laugh, the cat someway managed to smile.
Mitchelle the Menace. Troublemaker at heart, she would soon become Marvin's new companion.