Swizzle had brought Rancis and Candlehead into his bedroom for his lesson to help out Rancis. He paced back and forth in front of them while they sat on his bed. "Alright, class is in session. Students sit here; teacher's on this side." He told his friends.
"I'm still not exactly sure about how this will turn out." Rancis scratched the back of his head.
"Dude, you've got a girl to ask out. You don't know what to say to her. You need my help. And the first set of lessons is free." Malarkey informed him.
"The first set? How are you qualified to teach us this stuff?" Rancis asked, suddenly confused.
But the Swizz though it was a joke. "pff, are you kidding me?" he chuckled.
"No, no I'm not kidding. How are you qualified? You talk about girls all the time; I've never seen you with one." Rancis crossed his arms.
Um, I have lots of... just shut up and listen. Stay quiet and hold all your questions until the end." Swizzle replied, trying to escape the subject. "Now, before we start, does anyone have any questions?" he asked, stopping his pacing.
Candlehead raised her hand slowly. "Uh, yes. I would like to kn-" She started to ask.
"Ah ha! That was a trick question. You're supposed to hold all questions until the end." Swizzle stopped her.
Rancis then raise his hand. "Oh yea? Why didn't you hold your trick question until the end then?" He asked, smirking about catching Swizzle off guard.
"The rules don't apply to me." He calmly told them, crossing his arms.
"Well then maybe my question was a...magic...question too." Candlehead tried to remember the exact name of the type of question Swizzle used.
The Unicorn Pop racer just rolled his eyes. "Yea, abracadabra. You're a ditz." He then went back to pacing "So, we've already learned our first lesson: the rules don't apply to me. Girls like a rebel, someone outside the law." Swizzle continued his lesson.
"You mean like a criminal?" Candlehead wondered.
"Mmmm, it depends on the crime. Nothing with animals." Swizzle explained. "See, they want someone with a free and independent spirit. Something that they can crush into a raw material that can then be molded into what they really want." He went on.
"What do they really want?" Rancis asked next.
"They don't know. Which is why you have to tell them what they want without actually telling them what to do." Their "teacher" continued.
"That sounds hard." Candlehead looked worried.
"That's why we're doing lessons." Swizzle reassured her.
She then pulled out a notepad and pencil. "Should I be taking notes?" she asked.
"Do you even know how to take notes?" Swizz asked her.
Candlehead gave him a puzzled look. "Is that another trick question? Can I answer it at the end?"
"Getting bored here." Rancis warned, slightly irritated at the constant back and forth of questions.
"Okay okay fine. Let's do some role playing. I'll give you critiques on your approach." Swizzle instructed.
Rancis gave him a confused look. "Roleplaying, you mean like, acting?" he questioned.
"Yes exactly. Candlehead, you start hitting on Rancis." Swizzle confirmed.
"Wait, you want Candlehead to hit on me?" Rancis asked, suddenly concerned about letting Sugar Rush's ditz hit on him.
"Dude it's a lot bigger stretch for a pretty boy like you to man up and hit on her, trust me." Swizzle smirked jokingly at Rancis who just sighed.
Candlehead raised her hand suddenly. "Um, what should I be saying?"
"Just say whatever a girl would say." Swizzle instructed her.
"Uh, okay." Candlehead tried to think of what to say. So she chose to speak what she wanted out of a boyfriend. "Um, I uh just really want to meet someone nice. Um you know, someone who appreciates me for who I am. Not so much because I'm pretty but because they really want to get to know me because they want to find out what my interests are. Then we can spend time exploring the world and sharing all the wonderful things in life that make it wonderful." She spoke nervously.
After she had finished, the boys just stared at her for a few seconds. Candlehead beamed at them, thinking she did an A+ job.
Swizzle was the first to find his voice again. "What!? Do you know girls at all? Talk about how much you like shoes." He suggested.
"Yeah and about reality TV shows and all the other things you and the other girls talk about." Rancis pitched in.
"Okay time to switch things up. Rancis, you start. Just hit on Candle. Candle, act like Rancis is your dream crush." The Swizz told his "students".
Candlehead looked at Rancis with excitement. "I've been preparing for this role my whole life." She chirped at him.
"Alrighty, Rancis, Your girlfriend just got to base. You see her and say…" Swizzle lead Rancis to start.
"Uh hey...hey there." The peanut butter boy started, unsure of what to say.
"Hello. Giggle. Blinking eye lashes. Puppy." Candlehead tried to mimic what a cute girl would be doing in words.
"Alright that's it, I'm out. I can't do this anymore." Rancis got ready to walk out of the room. He seemed to think they wouldn't get anywhere.
Swizzle stopped him and walked him back into his room. "Fluggerbutter, sit down and don't be a baby. Candlehead, stop making sound effects. You're roleplaying a girl. Girls can't make sound effects."
"Quietly angry." She talked back to him.
"And stop narrating." He added.
"Okay. Fine." Candlehead crossed her arms and stomped her foot on the ground.
"YES! There you go. That's it. Okay Rancis, hit it. Action!" Swizzle cheered, signaling to Rancis.
"Uh uh hey uh what are you doing? What's up? Uh uh, what's up with what you're doing?" He tried to quickly jump into the situation.
"Smooth. Candle." Swizzle complimented on his friend's performance, motioning for Candlehead to go next.
"Okay, um, yes I was just sitting here thinking about shoes and celebrities that only have first names." She replied to Rancis in roleplay.
"Perfect." He gave her a thumbs up.
"Actually if you want the truth I feel like I have to say these things to make myself more appealing when I reallly think that I should jus-" She then started to say, but Swizzle cut her off.
"Stop it. Flugs, say something rebellious." He instructed.
"Uh okay I think the working class should uprise against the rich people." Rancis tired as hard as he could to sound like a badass.
"I said rebellious not revolutionary." Malarkey corrected him.
"Oh okay. I drive my kart over the speed limit. All the time." Rancis recovered, adding the last part at the end just to be sure.
Candlehead jumped off the bed and threw herself into a tight hug around Rancis, causing him to loose balance and fall off of the bed. "I will go with you anywhere." She squealed happily.
"See? It's easy!" Swizzle told them.