Naruto woke from a bad dream with a groan, knowing full well it wouldn't be one of those dreams you shake off a few minutes after you wake up. This was the kind of dream that would thoroughly haunt him the entire day. He sat up and sighed, his eyes squinted, and he scratched the back of his neck. Once a little more awake, he eyed the flyer sitting on his bedside table. He had eleven days and had not even started to consider a date.
Well, of course he had a girl in mind – that was no secret. The beautiful, ever elusive Sakura Haruno. Okay, perhaps she wasn't exactly…"elusive" but she was something else. He knew he never had a chance with her, because she was too gaga over Naruto's one true rival: Sasuke Uchiha. Just thinking about Sasuke made Naruto want to hurl. What was so great about him, anyway? Perhaps it was his air of mystique, his everlasting furrowed brow and his silence and the fact that he didn't seem to care for anyone or anything. Naruto supposed you could look up the word "aloof" in the dictionary and find Sasuke's face there. But what was so special about someone who didn't care? Isn't that the exact opposite of what a girl like Sakura should want?
Naruto had begun readying himself for the day, and was looking at himself in the mirror. He knew he might seem a little goofy and childlike sometimes, but that didn't mean he didn't care. He cared a lot about Sakura. He would take a shuriken for her. He looked deep into his own eyes, then smiled and looked away. He needed to stop all this thinking. After all, he was going to be late for his meeting with Kakashi Sensei! Well, it wasn't just his meeting. Sasuke and Sakura were going to be there, too. Naruto supposed it was about the Chunin Ball, but Kakashi Sensei had been unreachable a few days before when Naruto had approached him about the flyer. Sighing and double checking a few things before he left, Naruto left and ran down to the bridge near the forest, where Kakashi told them to meet.
"Surprise, surprise. Look who's late." Kakashi eyed Naruto as he took his place among Sasuke and Sakura. He didn't feel the embarrassment that he was supposed to, and instead, grinned up at Kakashi.
"I'm just being fashionable! See?" Naruto did the thing he always did: be stupid. He made a few model poses and kissy faces.
"Stop that," Kakashi snapped. Naruto heard the scowl in his voice and slowly stopped, resuming his former position. "Now, there's a reason I've called you here today."
"What's that, Kakashi Sensei?" Sakura piped up, looking toward her sensei with a smile, hoping Sasuke would notice her eagerness. She was not so lucky, as Sasuke was looking away, apparently deep in thought, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Yeah! What's up?" Naruto butted in, like usual. Kakashi rolled his one visible eye, and sighed, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.
"This…Chunin Ball thing." Naruto knew it. A smug look unfurled on his face. "Now, before you start complaining to me about it, I'll have you know Iruka convinced me and –"
Naruto cut him off. "What are you talking about, Kakashi Sensei?"
Kakashi's eye widened, and he cocked his head to the side. "I'm not quite sure, actually." He cleared his throat. "All of that aside, I just wanted you all to know that I'm not here to provide relationship. I'm just a chaperone. Which reminds me, at this dance, there will be a few rules, alright?"
"Sure, Sensei, what are they?" Sakura asked. Sasuke was still looking away.
'How dramatic!' Naruto thought, looking over at his dark-haired teammate.
"First off, this isn't affection central. Girls are pink. Boys are blue. There will be no purple between them. Got it?" Kakashi couldn't believe he was saying this to a group this age, but it was entirely possible.
Naruto, though embarrassed, nodded. Sakura was blushing. Sasuke was being dramatic, still.
"This also means no kissing, but that was already suggested. Hand holding is fine, as long as you're leading your dance partner somewhere," he added. "On a different note, there will be no leaving the dance unless you sign out, and once you sign out, you cannot come back in. Understood?" Sakura and Naruto nodded.
"Dress code. Formal dress only, alright? Don't dress too…risqué," Kakashi said, then exhaled. "That's all I can think of for now. I suppose the last rule is…have fun."
"Man!" Naruto exclaimed. "How corny!" He didn't care much for the other rules; in fact, he didn't even know if he could go, because he knew no one would want to go to this stupid thing with him. "Is that it, Kakashi Sensei? I'm starving!"
Kakashi glared at Naruto. "Oh yes, of course. Let us all stop because Naruto is hungry." From his side, Sakura snorted. "You're lucky that I happen to be done, Naruto, but that's for now. I've been told to give my team updates as time goes on. Please remember, all three of you, that admission is prohibited without a date."
After a few minutes of idle chatter, and Naruto being an idiot, Kakashi dismissed the three, and watched as they walked out of his sight. "Oh man," he said to himself. "I'll be lucky if I get through these next few days, let alone the night of the dance."
From behind him, a figure appeared, grinning. Kakashi sensed a presence and turned his head. Oh. Who else was it but Anko?
"Perhaps I can help with that…" she said, pulling Kakashi down to her level, staring him directly in the eye. "You, me. My place. Now."
Naruto, on the other hand, was sitting on a stool at Ichiraku Ramen, and an idea came to him as he slurped down his fifth bowl of ramen. He paused and pulled away from his chopsticks. "THAT'S IT!" he exclaimed loudly, causing the chef to look at him with a confused look on his face. "All I have to do is…yes! It's perfect!" He pulled out his frog wallet, slammed a few bills down on the table, and ran off, his bowl of ramen still half full. "I HOPE THAT COVERS IT!" he shouted as he sprinted down the road.
"HEY! NARUTO, GET BACK HERE! YOU DIDN'T EVEN – " the chef cut himself off before yelling any more. He knew Naruto probably couldn't hear him. And the young boy he was shouting out to was too busy chuckling and speeding off to even care.
It was later that evening, around sunset. Naruto approached Sakura's house from alleys, staying in the shadows, hoping Sakura wouldn't notice him. He knew she was home, well, because he had passed her house, back and forth, for hours and in broad daylight. He hid behind a fence near her house and did a transformation jutsu. Once done, he looked himself over and grinned. "Yeah! I look like Sasuke!" He did a little happy dance, before straightening himself. He knew he couldn't convince Sakura that he was the real thing if he kept acting like that.
He knocked on Sakura's door, trying to look stoic and uncaring. In a few moments time, Sakura had unlocked and pulled open the door. She looked surprised as soon as she saw the disguised Naruto before her. "Sasuke! What are you doing here?" Her eyes were wide, and a thin, pink blush bloomed on her cheeks.
"Sakura, I need to talk to you."
"Sure thing, Sasuke…" She motioned for him to come inside, and she shut the door, leaving them to stand awkwardly in her living room. "So what's up?"
"Well, I wanted to let you know about this whole Chunin Ball thing," he said. Naruto was having trouble trying to sound like Sasuke, so he decided to speak as little as possible.
"Yes!" It was ridiculous how sparkly her eyes were. She was so close to making a kissy face, too.
"I'm not going."
Imagine if only for a moment, romantic music playing in the background as Sakura leaned in to Sasuke, asking him why he had come to see her. Suddenly, the music stops as Sasuke admits he's too cool for a dumb event like a dance. Sakura's face falls.
"Wh-what?" Sakura's inner self was raging. SHA! WHAT DOES HE MEAN, HE'S NOT GOING?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HIS DATE!
"Yeah." Naruto turned away, and prepared to leave, but on the inside he was dying of laughter. 'This is too easy!' he thought."You should probably go with someone who cares about you. Like Naruto."
Sakura's eyes narrowed. "What?" Her tone was sharp as she spoke.
'Oh, why did I have to add that last part?!' Naruto silently cursed himself.
Just as suddenly as things had turned, another knock fell upon Sakura's door. "Sakura." A voice called from the outside. "Sakura, I need to talk to you."
Sasuke. The REAL Sasuke.
He continued to pound on the door, his knocks getting louder as his patience thinned. Naruto panicked. "Uh…uh…" he stammered incoherently, trying and failing to get Sakura's attention away from the door. She pushed past him anyway and opened the door to see the real Sasuke standing before her, then turned around to look at Naruto. He figured there was no use in keeping the jutsu up any longer, so he stopped it, and in a puff of smoke he was his old self again. Sakura hung her head. Sasuke's eyes widened. Things fell silent.
"Get…out…" a simple request was heard. It came from Sakura, whose head was still hung, but now she was pointing to the door, asking Naruto to leave.
'What's going on here?' Sasuke wondered.
"Get out." Her request became a demand.
"Sakura, I didn't mean to –" Naruto started, but inevitably was cut off.
"GET OUT!" She was shouting now. Naruto wondered why she was so upset. He headed slowly for the door as her shouts became louder. As soon as he had cleared the doorframe and passed Sasuke, Naruto broke out in a run down the street. Sakura slumped to the floor, leaving Sasuke to stare at the disappearing Naruto in confusion and shock.
It did not need to be said that Naruto had trouble sleeping that night. He tossed and turned until well past midnight, feeling guilty and knowing he just conned his way out of a date to the dance. There were now ten days until the Chunin Ball, and as clueless and hopeless as Naruto was, he was coming to the conclusion that he probably decide against going.